Well, you know my bias but I'll offer my opinions too.
I'm beginning to think about signing our very active son up for a preschool martial arts class. Around here the Y and several dojos have classes for kids as young as 4, so this will be in 6 months or so. But I'm having a hard time differentiating between the different martial arts in terms of appropriateness for an active and sweet kid.
At this age the martial art is irrelevant because over the next couple of years he might end up trying them all. Our kid couldn't go for more than six months at an activity before she'd see Big Bird or Barney doing something that she'd want to try. And then six months later we'd move on.
Our taekwondo instructor teaches kids as young as four years old, too, but he has a black-belt instructor for every four kids and the class is never bigger than eight students. Plenty of individual attention. The kids start out as bodies in perpetual motion, unable to even look you in the eye let alone stand still. But after a few months they're able to snap to attention, stand quietly for all the way up to 30 seconds (sometimes), execute a couple of different forms, and feel every bit as martial as Bruce Lee. I've also seen our instructor succeed with kids who are dealing with ADHD, Asperger's, and autism.
What are your opinions of the different martial arts (karate, kung-fu, aikido, taekwondo, jiu-jitsu, judo, etc.)? I'm looking for a healthy outlet for my kids (I think that if we try this with our son and it goes well, our daughter will also follow him), and possibly a good outlet for me. So I'm looking for an art that focuses on:
Impulse control
Physical activity (lots of movement would be good -- sitting for a long time would be bad)
Focus on conflict avoidance and resolution (we're not fans of aggressive, fight-oriented activities)
Self-confidence (no lack of that in this house, but we don't want our kids' confidence checked unnecessarily, either)
Meditation or self-calming, self-regulation.
Discipline (least important, our kids get plenty of that at home).
All martial arts are great with a good instructor, and they're all horrible with a not-so-good instructor.
Most instructors will satisfy all of your above points. Conflict avoidance is mainly telling the kids to walk away from a bad situation and find a grownup. They may be told not to use martial arts outside the dojang. We parents have observed an interesting effect when siblings take the class-- they fight less often. I don't know if it's because they can do real damage with their new skills or if it's because lapsing into martial arts distracts them from the argument, but the conflicts are much more verbal and much less physical.
It helps that when the instructor teaches a proper stance, the kid looks confident instead of like a victim. A good instructor, let alone a good martial arts instructor, will focus on what a kid is doing right (and congratulate/reward that) while ignoring what a kid isn't doing right. After a while the kids only do the "right" stuff. I highly recommend the book
"Double Goal Coach" for these techniques. It gives the kids the vocabulary to describe their feelings, too.
I'm also curious myself -- is there a martial art out there that I'd enjoy participating in?
For me, an art that doesn't put a huge amount of stress on the body (I have a chronic knee injury and a chronic lower back injury that require adaptation when exercise or do yoga) would be a bonus. Anything that requires a lot of kicking, twisting, or jumping is not so great for me.
Well, tai chi will get you started. And it's what you do when you're just about at your end. I'll be joining you when I reach my 70s, or possibly my 80s… if I have the short-term memory to handle the forms.
You may want to try kickboxing for its focus on strength, flexibility, & self-defense. Paddles & punching bags only, no sparring. It's a gateway drug to taekwondo but the kickboxing workouts are actually harder (more aerobic) because you're in constant motion. Taekwondo sparring is much more about anaerobic endurance.
If you're feeling competitive, judo and taekwondo are the only martial arts currently awarding medals at the Olympics. Both have strong professional & amateur national/international competition, both for adults (of all ages) and kids. IIRC karate is also an Olympic contender but I don't know their status.
I tore both my ACLs (one at a time) in three months of judo. Today I realize that my problem was lifting heavy opponents and then twisting my joints instead of using the opponent's momentum. The instructor's problem was that he didn't recognize my bad technique and (when I hurt my knees) he didn't realize what had happened. (I was two years into taekwondo before I sought a doctor for an MRI and a diagnosis.) But maybe you'll have better luck with judo. Stay on your toes and stay off your heels.
I've been told that aikido & hapkido are what you do when you're so old and creaky that you're unable to do anything else but tai chi. Lots of weapons and joint locks in Hawaii, both of which I'm reluctant to get involved with for fear of further injury.
I like taekwondo for its full-contact sparring. I especially like that my daughter has learned to take a wicked pounding (not from me-- teen girls are scary nasty vicious fighters) and still come back to succeed. I also like that she never hesitates to deliver a harsh head shot if I give her the slightest opportunity. Outside the dojang many assault victims are shocked into immobility by the first contact, and she's way past that issue. However if you prefer not to spar, a good taekwondo instructor will support your training all the way to black belt without it.
I've never tried other martial arts. One of our taekwondo black belts swears by escrima, but she's Filipina and she also really likes weapons.
I should point out that the purpose of a martial art is not to avoid aggravating your knee/back injuries but rather to strengthen those parts of your body. The instructors should understand your limits and work with you, not on you. Two years ago I was wearing orthopedic knee braces (and my knees still rattled around inside them), chugging 800 mg ibuprofen every eight hours for weeks, and unable to stand comfortably for more than an hour or two. I was also frequently pulling back/neck muscles. Between the classes and the occasional conditioning clinic I'm now fully mobile and my knees are actually free of pain.
Jolie Bookspan helped too. I can do full squats & lunges and even run a few miles. I only wear orthopedic braces during open sparring and then only for life insurance-- my spouse would kill me if I got injured because I wasn't wearing them.
Here's our dojang's website:
http://www.oahutaekwondo.com/ The owner took a Marshallese team to the Olympics this year and he'll be back again in 2012. And yes, I do spar those guys at the bottom of the page every week, but they take it slow & easy on us geezers. To them I'm just a mobile heavy punching bag…