Random acts of kindness

[braumeister]

Can't think of anything significant, but when I'm traveling by myself I will often stop for breakfast in a little mom&pop place in a small town. Generally there is a very hard working waitress who tries hard but is stretched to her limit. In a situation like that I take great delight in leaving a $20 tip under my plate for a $5 meal.

 

[calmloki]

Really, what happens if there is a carload of people who order $5 coffees and breakfast sandwiches? I'd be pissed if ended up with a $15 or $20 bill for coffees......

When it happened with me I asked - because how was I to know what the car behind would order. The coffee person said the coffee shop was participating in the chain and charging a set amount/person for the drinks, which was actually pretty low AIR. Didn't find out the drinks were paid for till after receiving them. I'm sure there are cunning ways to game the system, but if you have to think too much about participating in giving or how it could be taken advantage of then just skip giving.

I don't give out kale and liver at Halloween because it is optimal for the kid's nutrition - they get candy because it makes me, and them, feel happy. Same way with helping someone lift a heavy awkward item onto a Costco dolly or into their truck - it feels good. Feeling good has value; to me at least.

Edit: BTW - I had said Starbucks because they are a universally known coffee shop - I don't remember the name of the place it actually was in West Salem, but not a big franchise type place.

 

[Christine]

Closest I get is when I had this old clunker car when I was a student. A stressed woman in a parking lot made a little dent in my bumper. Seeing how distraught she was I told her it did not matter - one more dent in my old car - nobody cares.

Lots of nice acts here, and I mentioned a few myself, but I have to take exception to these "pay for the guy behind you in line" routines.

When the line ends, only one person was helped (the last, by the first).

Your reasoning is not logical. If we stretch this out in time with someone getting a coffe paid for by a stranger. Then repeats the gesture to someone else a week later. And that person does so the next week etc. Would you still conclude that only the last person in the chain helped the first and that the other good deeds did not matter?

 

[braumeister]

I don't give out kale and liver at Halloween

Uh, oh.
I've been doing it wrong?

 

[Moemg]

I was at the Dollar Store when two teenagers were buying assorted food products including baby items. When the cashier rang them up they did not have enough money so they started putting things back . I handed them $20 and left .They were so grateful.

 

[ERD50]

....
Your reasoning is not logical. If we stretch this out in time with someone getting a coffe paid for by a stranger. Then repeats the gesture to someone else a week later. And that person does so the next week etc. Would you still conclude that only the last person in the chain helped the first and that the other good deeds did not matter?

I'm pretty sure that's the first time I've been accused of that on this forum!

I was referring to the report of "I'm told the chain often lasts for hours." If it is one continuous chain, then yes, only the start and end person are really involved in a give-receive relationship (best read in a Spock-like voice ).

I acknowledged, "It would be better if it didn't last for hours - if there were 10 separate events during the day, 10 people would benefit."

I think we are actually in agreement (at least as far as one chain versus many small ones), try re-reading my posts in context.

Though I still feel that a random pay for someones coffee, even if it is just two people, not a chain, is a little silly, unless there is some sense that the receiver is in need. If someone were to randomly offer to pay my bill, I'd actually be kind of bothered by it. Do I look like I need a handout? I may have more money than they do, what the heck are they doing? What's the point (he says logically)? I say reserve that charity for the times it will really do some good.

-ERD50

 

[ERD50]

I was at the Dollar Store when two teenagers were buying assorted food products including baby items. When the cashier rang them up they did not have enough money so they started putting things back . I handed them $20 and left .They were so grateful.

Excellent example of what I just posted about (instead of being completely random - offer when you an see a true need).

That was nice of you, and nice to see they responded with gratitude.

-ERD50

 

[zedd]

I swear this is a true story.

Years ago DW and I lived in a small rental in a Bellevue Washington neighborhood while we were building our "retirement" home further out of town. One dark and very rainy morning I loaded up the 4Runner with tools for the day and placing a dry towel on the rear passenger side seat put "Bubba" our then soaking wet and very large and menacing looking dog. I rolled down the driveway, then drove slowly heading out of our neighborhood. It was by then raining even harder. At the intersection of a feeder street I rolled to a stop, preparing to turn. Just then the front passenger door pops open and in hops a tiny elderly Asian lady. I look at her. Bubba checks her out with his eyes only not moving his body. Eyes forward she says in a small but firm voice "grocery store". Looking around I can't imagine where she might have been standing when I rolled up to the intersection.

Uhm okay. I make the turn onto the feeder street and drive about a half mile and turn into an Albertsons which is a Northwest grocery store chain. Driving as close to the entrance as possible we roll to a stop. Eyes still forward she says in her small but firm voice "Safeway".

Well alright then. We're at the Eastgate Albertsons and the Safeway is just the other side of the interstate cloverleaf. A short drive and we're there. Again I roll to a stop right in front of the store. She hops out without a word closing the car door behind her and then disappears into the rain.

Bubba and I look at each other in disbelief. DW says she gets the hebegeebees whenever I tell the story.

 

[NYEXPAT]

Must be my week!
A waiter in a restaurant we no longer frequent ran into me on the street, we exchanged pleasantries and he told me his mother was in the hospital. I do not understand much Spanish and got lost when He asked for a loan. I just gave him $50.00 and told him to forget about paying me back.

The next day I walk into the lobby of our Penthouse and the doorman tells me that our nighttime guy was in a motorcycle accident and is in the hospital. He shows me a list of apartment owners 60 or so that have kicked in $20-$50. I open up my wallet and I only have a 50. Had to walk home as no money left for a taxi.

Last night, My wife tells me about a Peruvian girl with a baby that she heard about from a friend. Seems she lives in Australia with her husband a dentist. who kicked them out of the house and bought them a one way ticket to Peru (her home country). She has no money and no where to live, So we gave our Oceanfront Penthouse for her to use until she gets on her feet, about a $3,000 soft dollar hit.

 

[zedd]

Three weeks ago I was seriously injured in a high speed collision on the highway. First on scene was a good Samaritan, a nurse on her way to work, who kept me calm and immobilized until the EMTs arrived. She not only called my DW but scooped up my little dog from the wreck, the roses I bought for DW that day and met DW at the hospital before my ambulance even arrived.

They wept. I get a little misty too thinking about it.

 

[Sunny]

If we stretch this out in time with someone getting a coffe paid for by a stranger. Then repeats the gesture to someone else a week later. And that person does so the next week etc. Would you still conclude that only the last person in the chain helped the first and that the other good deeds did not matter?

I'm not the poster (ERD50) who pointed out the line thing may be a string of feel goods, but I'm not sure your analogy directly applies. One of the concepts was the immediate social pressure to continue the line going. Whereas in your example there has a been a time period in between the acts, allowing the givers to elect to offer the gesture after having time to think about it. While they may still have a bit of pressure in their conscious to also pay it forward, I would imagine it isn't anything like a cashier mentioning your drink/food was paid for by the previous patron...and when you ask "huh?" they also mention "yeah, 32 people have been doing this in a row!"

I am not saying all the people in between didn't perform a kind act out of the goodness of their hearts, but I do suggest in a way some of them may have been put under social or peer pressure to perform the kind act.

Does that diminish the act? Beats me, I'm not in charge of judging thankfully. I do feel for anyone who may have been guilted into it though, and couldn't afford to do it that day if the bill was higher than their own.

 

[scrabbler1]

Can't think of anything significant, but when I'm traveling by myself I will often stop for breakfast in a little mom&pop place in a small town. Generally there is a very hard working waitress who tries hard but is stretched to her limit. In a situation like that I take great delight in leaving a $20 tip under my plate for a $5 meal.

Back in 2014, My LF and I were at a Steak&Shake in Indianapolis while waiting for our Amtrak train to arrive. The food there is pretty cheap but a to-go meal my LF ordered was not prepared correctly. The waitress, a young 20-something girl, got it all fixed before we left so I left her a $20 for a tab which was under $10. As we were leaving, she saw us and was all smiles and walking on air. Made her night.

 

[MRG]

Back in 2014, My LF and I were at a Steak&Shake in Indianapolis while waiting for our Amtrak train to arrive. The food there is pretty cheap but a to-go meal my LF ordered was not prepared correctly. The waitress, a young 20-something girl, got it all fixed before we left so I left her a $20 for a tab which was under $10. As we were leaving, she saw us and was all smiles and walking on air. Made her night.

I was with my favorite ever boss in Cologne when we went out for some beers. The place was packed and he found a waiter to take care of us and keep the beers coming. Too many hours later we leave and my boss settles up. He's a generous person who loved to surprise wait staff.

After we left I asked about the tab, he responded "oh I have no idea what this silly money is worth. I guess the waiter was happy as he said he would light a candle for me"!

 

[broadway]

Today I had a Ruby Tuesdays flyer.
I used the $5 off $15 coupon, and gave the $7 off 2 entrees and 50% off 2nd entree coupons to two tables near me. Why have the coupons go to waste? We don't normally eat at Ruby Tuesdays and so would not have made use of the coupons.