Reimburse kids college - how to structure?

[livingalmostlarge]

I don't know, can I say I am saving but will see what happens when the time comes? I used to have a plan but recently my oldest was diagnosed with autism (12 year old) and I'm not sure what the future holds anymore.

It makes things very sketchy. I don't know if I can be "equal" but I will try to be fair. I don't know what that means for her living at home versus moving out. I don't know if it means a large state school is out of the question and only a small private college/university. If so then my "plans" of 4 years at a public university is not going to cut it. Also we aren't sure anymore if public school is going to cut it. We are considering paying for private school for both kids now. That means more outlay than expected potentially now.

Also factor in that we can comfortably afford it. So am I wrong to think that maybe because DK will need help we should do it? That we aren't obligated but it might be something we want to do. And we happen to be in a circumstance where we can afford whatever DK chooses. Money is not the constraint especially since my DH has always said he wanted to work until 2034 when our DK2 graduates college in theory.

But life and curveballs. New diagnosis = maybe more time in school? More help? Maybe help forever? I don't know. And since I no longer have my crystal ball and my assumptions that I have two neurotypical kids needing only help till X,Y, and Z, maybe my plans changed. That public school is good enough. So i've learned best laid plans meets life...

[daylatedollarshort]

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Originally Posted by livingalmostlarge But life and curveballs. New diagnosis = maybe more time in school? More help? Maybe help forever? I don't know. And since I no longer have my crystal ball and my assumptions that I have two neurotypical kids needing only help till X,Y, and Z, maybe my plans changed. That public school is good enough. So i've learned best laid plans meets life...

A bit off topic, but I wouldn't throw in the towel just yet and accept the autism diagnosis as a life sentence. Researchers now know autism is linked to distinct changes in the microbiome, like a shortage of Prevotella and other beneficial bacteria and an increase in digestive issues. Studies show fecal transplants may show lasting improvements - Autism symptoms reduced nearly 50 percent two years after fecal transplant -- ScienceDaily. However, there are also other ways to increase Prevotella bacteria and improve digestion that require less drastic measures, like increasing vitamin D levels and getting more exercise.

Related link - Two open label trials found high dose vitamin D improves the core symptoms of autism in about 75% of autistic children. A few of the improvements were remarkable - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28217829/.

It is pretty cheap and easy to have your gut bacteria tested and catalogued these days, get tested for vitamin D and other nutrient deficiencies, etc. and then make diet / supplement / exercises changes and retest both the gut bacteria and nutrients. I'm doing that now for myself and family and am very happy with the results so far.

[Koolau]

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Originally Posted by WhenIsItTime My Dad gave me the opportunity to pay for my own college. Wife did same. We both graduated without debt. That was a long time ago. We intend to support our kids college and are prepared to pay for all of it. Starting to think about ways to incentivize our kids to use this money wisely or give them skin in the game. We will be involved in the institution selection process partially based on desired major and income potential. Looking for way's to structure this gift such as: Give them the money and wish them luck. On their own until graduation. If successful in four years, reimburse everything. Pay for grades: A=100%, B=85%, etc. 50/50. Maybe gift the balance after graduation or starting career. Any advice or experience?

Our kids qualified for some grants and then took loans. We have helped them repay the loans - well, the two kids who actually graduated. We simply asked them their loan status on occasion and then helped out when we could. All kids now paid off and very much on their own. I think it saved us a bundle (maybe them as well) by going this way. YMMV

[RetMD21]

Quote:

Originally Posted by livingalmostlarge I don't know, can I say I am saving but will see what happens when the time comes? I used to have a plan but recently my oldest was diagnosed with autism (12 year old) and I'm not sure what the future holds anymore. It makes things very sketchy. I don't know if I can be "equal" but I will try to be fair. I don't know what that means for her living at home versus moving out. I don't know if it means a large state school is out of the question and only a small private college/university. If so then my "plans" of 4 years at a public university is not going to cut it. Also we aren't sure anymore if public school is going to cut it. We are considering paying for private school for both kids now. That means more outlay than expected potentially now. Also factor in that we can comfortably afford it. So am I wrong to think that maybe because DK will need help we should do it?

Sorry to hear about this. Unfortunately, things happen that we can't control and one has to be flexible. I can't imagine regretting getting extra help for a child with special needs.

[livingalmostlarge]

On high dose Vit D. Are on fish oil, priobiotics, etc. It's not a surprising thing.

I think that flexiblity is key in planning. That whether it works out or not. Nope not going to regret any of it. I'm just pointing out that like "oversaving" when you are younger, none of this was in the "plans". And it's not a life sentence. But to me it means we may have to help financially more than "planned". It might mean our annual spend is much more than we planned. It means that our number to hit is a lot higher.

it's fine not a big deal, we're still working and DH doesn't mind. But it makes the calculus to me a lot more conservative. It means instead of $100k for college we might need $200k. it might mean we are paying for private school now instead of expecting our kids to have gone to public school.

I see nothing wrong with it. But it does mean our annual spend might not be $50k/year or anywhere close to that. It also means our future planning has slightly shifted and we may want to leave our kids money.

[WhenIsItTime]

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Originally Posted by Rustic23 I’ve posted this before. It is a friends answer to this question. Tell them to take out student loans. When they graduate, you will pay them off. NO graduations, no money. One of his sons dropped out but returned and graduated when the first loan payment came due.

I think there are a couple headwinds to that approach:

1. May be limit on interest free loans
2. May be origination fees
3. 529 Plans: my understanding is they only recently started allowing $10k to go towards loan repayments. Thus, not a vehicle for this approach.

If I am wrong, please correct me.

My good friend is planning to take exactly that approach. I'm too finance oriented. Need to think about it more, but first reaction is couldn't accept incurring origination fees or interest.