Retired Husband Syndrome

[MasterBlaster]

evidently doctors in Japan have a new stress related condition being diagnosed in wifes of retirees - retired Husband Syndrome (RHS).

http://www.boston.com/news/world/asia/articles/2005/10/23/in_japan_a_syndrome_is_born/

 

[Brat]

Oh how I can relate to that!!

 

[Outtahere]

(sigh) I have a feeling DH will feel that way about me once I retire, I already drive him nuts on days off and weekends.

 

[Martha]

This is one of the reasons we are thinking of buying a house, rather than continuing to live in a one bedroom apartment.

 

[greg]

This is one of the reasons we are thinking of buying a house, rather than continuing to live in a one bedroom apartment.

Yeah, this will give Mrs. Putin an opportunity to spend more time cleaning--and organizing.

--Mr. Putin (aka Alexander Haig)

 

[jj]

This article had me howling with laughter!  Now in our fourth week of ER together the strains have truly been few - and we can laugh about them - but I can definitely relate to this on some level.  I know that my mother felt the strains when my father retired at 65 a few years ago and I have heard similar stories from my girlfriends about their mothers' adjustment. 

One example: In our first week, the corporate laptop had gone back, and DH was constantly on my computer in the kitchen/family room.  Not that I want to be on it all day, but when I want to check on something, I want to be able to do it without waiting (what a selfish b*tch!)  I mentioned that in the interests of marital harmony, maybe we should splash out on a new laptop for when we're away on vacations.... luckily it arrived at the end of the second week! 

 

[Martha]

jj, we drag my work laptop around when on vacation. If I am home without the laptop, Greg tends to start pacing around behind me when I am on his the computer. It is very effective at getting me to abandon what I am doing.

 

[brewer12345]

Heh, for a second I thought the thread title was "Retarded Husband Syndrome." Definately applies to some of us...

 

[Brat]

The need to share space is something few consider in planning retirement. DH and I have a large home, we are pondering down-sizing. Once we do that we want to travel a lot. Then, IMHO, I want to move to a senior community with lots of activities.

 

[SteveR]

The proximity, space, sharing of "stuff", eating more than one meal a day together, being "close" 24/7 can all contribute to positive and negative experiences in retirement. Everybody needs their space, both physical and emotional, from time to time and both parties need to respect that. I know one couple that both worked 60 plus hours/week for many years and retired the same day. After a week they were ready to kill each other until they adopted a "work-like" schedule of being apart but in the same house for a few hours a day. Each person had their own space they could occupy and they were to not bother the other one for the agreed upon time period. After that they would meet and share the rest of the day together. This saved their marriage!

Don't under estimate the need for privacy and personal space and time. Being together to share retirement is wonderful but too much of a good thing can get irritating. Find a hobby that will give you both some directed time-off from each other so you can enjoy the time you will share even more.

 

[Sarah in SC]

I'm chuckling about that spending time apart in the house...we lived on a 28 ft sailboat in the Bahamas for a long summer a couple of years ago and lots of our friends wondered if a drowning would result from the proximity.
Actually, a lot of books helped, along with a tendency not to spend all day yammering away (no new gossip to report) at each other. And in that kind of heat, we certainly didn't argue!
I think we'll be fine retiring in our 1500 sq ft house, but we WILL NEED two computers, even thought there is only dial-up out here in the country.
Sarah

 

[moghopper]

(sigh) I have a feeling DH will feel that way about me once I retire, I already drive him nuts on days off and weekends.

I think it is the picture of Brad Pitt that drives him crazy.

 

[flipstress]

If I am home without the laptop, Greg tends to start pacing around behind me when I am on his the computer.  It is very effective at getting me to abandon what I am doing.   

BF stands in the doorway and breathes loudly when I am on the computer and he wants to use it.  This dog-like behavior is very effective for him, too, so much so that I am thinking of buying a laptop for myself next year.

 

[brewer12345]

BF stands in the doorway and breathes loudly when I am on the computer and he wants to use it.  This dog-like behavior is very effective for him, too, so much so that I am thinking of buying a laptop for myself next year.

Nah, get him a shock collar instead.

 

[flipstress]

Nah, get him a shock collar instead.

Hmmm, that might be a cheaper solution. 

 

[Outtahere]

Yea right, the only reason the pic of Brad would bother him is the amount of hair...or his lack of it.

 

[REWahoo]

OK, Martha, who is the babe in your avatar photo? Is that YOU?!?!

Greg--- you lucky dawg!!!

Oh....wait...that's Mrs. Putin. Nevermind.

 

[Jarhead*]

OK, Martha, who is the babe in your avatar photo?  Is that YOU?!?!

Greg--- you lucky dawg!!!

Oh....wait...that's Mrs. Putin.   Nevermind.

You houndog, you beat me to it.

That's the way I pictured her.  (Vivid imagination .

 

[Nords]

Wonderful article! It's like coming home from deployment to find that a bloodless coup occurred.

Once again my spouse wishes to thank this board for entertaining my ponderings & musings of every one of life's questions & lame jokes-- so that she doesn't have to.

I gotta admit that with a kid home on break I spent the last three weeks doing a lot more reading & yard work than usual. But whoever wants a second computer in our house is welcome to do so as soon as they spend the money & configure the router. That usually stops the debate in its tracks, and anyway I've enjoyed the reading.