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Old 09-24-2018, 10:02 AM   #61
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Originally Posted by Nemo2 View Post
Never go out to the car before the woman has left the house.

My first wife, my late wife, and DW, all efficient women, share(d) this trait:

Preparing to leave the building, to go wherever, we could/can both be fully dressed and ostensibly ready to go.

Naah......go out to the drive, start the car.......and wait....and wait..."What on EARTH can they be doing?"
My ladyfriend is also notorious for underestimating time and other amounts. With time, when she is working on our Saturday night dinner, whenever I ask her how long she has to go, I always double it to figure out the actual amount of time it will take. Over the years, she has caught on to my little game and often denies it will take twice the time (but it always does, anyway). She hasn't yet tried to halve her estimate to try to fool me, though.

When she is getting ready to leave her place we are leaving together, most of the time when she tells me she is "ready to go," I hop out of my chair, turn off the TV, go to the door...……...and wait a few minutes before she is actually ready to leave. This would be crummy in the summer if I had also turned off the A/C and sat back in a room with the air temp rising. After being fooled a few too many times by this, I began asking her, "Are you ready to leave or are you only ALMOST ready to leave?" No matter what she answered, I wouldn't get up and shut things down until I actually saw the apartment door open and the hallway light go off. Even then, it was only a little better than 50-50 that I wouldn't have to wait for her at the door anyway.

And when I take her food shopping, she always tells me she has "only a few things to get," implying it won't take long. She nearly always ends up taking nearly an hour and buying at least 30 items, a lot more than my definition of "just a few items." My definition is: few enough to go on an express lane. When she actually gets "only a few items," I am genuinely surprised!
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Old 09-24-2018, 10:12 AM   #62
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nemo2 View Post
Never go out to the car before the woman has left the house.

My first wife, my late wife, and DW, all efficient women, share(d) this trait:

Preparing to leave the building, to go wherever, we could/can both be fully dressed and ostensibly ready to go.

Naah......go out to the drive, start the car.......and wait....and wait..."What on EARTH can they be doing?"
I often has to wait for my husband. I wear flip flop, he has to tie his shoes which takes longer. So there, never say never.
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Old 09-24-2018, 10:43 AM   #63
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Originally Posted by MuirWannabe View Post


I just hiked down and up Havasupai last week (with falls hikes in between)...so true. Best is not to ask.
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Old 09-24-2018, 10:47 AM   #64
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Old 09-24-2018, 11:00 AM   #65
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Always check for toilet paper before committing to a major transaction.
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Old 09-24-2018, 02:17 PM   #66
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I sometimes teach dance lessons and this is my advice to beginner dancers:

1. Try to stay in time with the music
2. Smile
3. Remember, the people watching are only looking at the good dancers, not at you.
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Old 09-24-2018, 02:34 PM   #67
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My favorite rule of thumb is my signature line.....
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Old 09-24-2018, 03:13 PM   #68
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Those who matter, don't mind. Those who mind, don't matter.

In discussions and when evaluating information, consider the source.

Don't assume anyone you know only via the internet is who they say they are.

Smiling faces sometimes don't tell the truth.

Do not s**t where you eat.

If you are a man over 50, and a woman of age under the "half your age plus 7" rule of thumb is flirting with you, it is not your looks she is after.
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Old 09-24-2018, 03:35 PM   #69
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"Life is like a $hit sandwich, the more bread you have, the less $hit you have to eat."
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Old 09-24-2018, 10:29 PM   #70
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Something must have been going on in 1974...

"Life is like a big turd, and every day is just another bite."

Baby Paul, 1974, a 2nd shift factory workmate, as I worked my way through college before heading off to the big U.
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Old 09-25-2018, 08:23 AM   #71
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Too soon olt. Too late Schmart.
PA Dutch saying...
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Old 09-25-2018, 08:39 AM   #72
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Old 09-25-2018, 09:16 AM   #73
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Originally Posted by jollystomper View Post
If you are a man over 50, and a woman of age under the "half your age plus 7" rule of thumb is flirting with you, it is not your looks she is after.
I like this one.
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Old 09-25-2018, 09:41 AM   #74
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If it flies, floats, or fornicates, you are better off renting it.
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Old 09-28-2018, 09:38 AM   #75
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when traveling by vehicle, always stay overnight on the far side of a city - no rush hour traffic in the am. and don't stay inland off the interstate (lesson learned hard way)
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Old 09-28-2018, 10:45 AM   #76
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Never read a long post.
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Old 09-28-2018, 01:37 PM   #77
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Never read a long post.
Never post a long read.
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Old 09-28-2018, 03:21 PM   #78
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I think writer Dave Barry put it best: “You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.”


I miss Dave Barry.
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Old 09-28-2018, 03:33 PM   #79
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This too shall pass.
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Old 09-28-2018, 07:19 PM   #80
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"Don't get your meat where you get your bread and butter" - advice form an old engineer to me as a new young engineer.


Or the related "Don't fish off the company pier"
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