Rules of Thumb

[WyomingLife]

If you can't fix it with a hammer, it's an electrical problem.

 

[street]

Never hit your thumb with a hammer.

 

[RobbieB]

Old people are grumpy.

 

[tuckeverlasting]

Keep it simple.

Use it or lose it.

It is always better to know the truth.

This above all: to thine own self be true.

 

[aja8888]

No matter what checkout/service line I pick to stand in, the other lines will always move faster.

 

[MuirWannabe]

 

[Nemo2]

Never go out to the car before the woman has left the house.

My first wife, my late wife, and DW, all efficient women, share(d) this trait:

Preparing to leave the building, to go wherever, we could/can both be fully dressed and ostensibly ready to go.

Naah......go out to the drive, start the car.......and wait....and wait..."What on EARTH can they be doing?"

 

[davismills]

Old Air Force rule of thumb.

Measure it with a micrometer.
Mark it with a pencil.
Cut it with an ax.

 

[MrsHaloFIRE]

If you have to force it, it's wrong. This holds true for home repairs, relationships, vacations...

 

[kgtest]

Work smarter, not harder.
Brains not brawn.
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
Catch more bees with honey.
Can't put a square peg through a round hole.
Quality is never an accident.
Tomorrow is a new day.
Patience is free.
Move with a purpose.

 

[scrabbler1]

Never go out to the car before the woman has left the house.

My first wife, my late wife, and DW, all efficient women, share(d) this trait:

Preparing to leave the building, to go wherever, we could/can both be fully dressed and ostensibly ready to go.

Naah......go out to the drive, start the car.......and wait....and wait..."What on EARTH can they be doing?"

My ladyfriend is also notorious for underestimating time and other amounts. With time, when she is working on our Saturday night dinner, whenever I ask her how long she has to go, I always double it to figure out the actual amount of time it will take. Over the years, she has caught on to my little game and often denies it will take twice the time (but it always does, anyway). She hasn't yet tried to halve her estimate to try to fool me, though.

When she is getting ready to leave her place we are leaving together, most of the time when she tells me she is "ready to go," I hop out of my chair, turn off the TV, go to the door...……...and wait a few minutes before she is actually ready to leave. This would be crummy in the summer if I had also turned off the A/C and sat back in a room with the air temp rising. After being fooled a few too many times by this, I began asking her, "Are you ready to leave or are you only ALMOST ready to leave?" No matter what she answered, I wouldn't get up and shut things down until I actually saw the apartment door open and the hallway light go off. Even then, it was only a little better than 50-50 that I wouldn't have to wait for her at the door anyway.

And when I take her food shopping, she always tells me she has "only a few things to get," implying it won't take long. She nearly always ends up taking nearly an hour and buying at least 30 items, a lot more than my definition of "just a few items." My definition is: few enough to go on an express lane. When she actually gets "only a few items," I am genuinely surprised!

 

[Fedup]

Never go out to the car before the woman has left the house.

My first wife, my late wife, and DW, all efficient women, share(d) this trait:

Preparing to leave the building, to go wherever, we could/can both be fully dressed and ostensibly ready to go.

Naah......go out to the drive, start the car.......and wait....and wait..."What on EARTH can they be doing?"

I often has to wait for my husband. I wear flip flop, he has to tie his shoes which takes longer. So there, never say never.

 

[deserat]

View attachment 29656

I just hiked down and up Havasupai last week (with falls hikes in between)...so true. Best is not to ask.

 

[bjorn2bwild]

A dog may be mans best friend, but a cat will never show the cops where your drugs are stashed.

 

[Clone]

Always check for toilet paper before committing to a major transaction.

 

[harllee]

I sometimes teach dance lessons and this is my advice to beginner dancers:

1. Try to stay in time with the music
2. Smile
3. Remember, the people watching are only looking at the good dancers, not at you.

 

[Silver]

My favorite rule of thumb is my signature line.....

 

[jollystomper]

Those who matter, don't mind. Those who mind, don't matter.

In discussions and when evaluating information, consider the source.

Don't assume anyone you know only via the internet is who they say they are.

Smiling faces sometimes don't tell the truth.

Do not s**t where you eat.

If you are a man over 50, and a woman of age under the "half your age plus 7" rule of thumb is flirting with you, it is not your looks she is after.

 

[Winemaker]

"Life is like a $hit sandwich, the more bread you have, the less $hit you have to eat."
Skip Drake, 1974, my first boss

 

[Telly]

Something must have been going on in 1974...

"Life is like a big turd, and every day is just another bite."

Baby Paul, 1974, a 2nd shift factory workmate, as I worked my way through college before heading off to the big U.

 

[Rummy]

Too soon olt. Too late Schmart.
PA Dutch saying...

 

[braumeister]

Murphy was an optimist.

 

[JustCurious]

If you are a man over 50, and a woman of age under the "half your age plus 7" rule of thumb is flirting with you, it is not your looks she is after.

I like this one.

 

[griffithee]

If it flies, floats, or fornicates, you are better off renting it.

 

[drb391]

when traveling by vehicle, always stay overnight on the far side of a city - no rush hour traffic in the am. and don't stay inland off the interstate (lesson learned hard way)