Self censorship!

[rodi]

I had a post all typed up to respond to this... then thought better of it.

 

[eytonxav]

Been there done that, I guess its a function of being passionate about ones viewpoint or is it that anal retentive that comes out. Still probably better than being apathetic

 

[Midpack]

I had a post all typed up to respond to this... then thought better of it.

Seriously

 

[Katsmeow]

I just spent over an hour composing a new thread on a pretty serious FIRE topic with links & quotes, wholesale edited it several times, and ultimately just deleted it altogether. Discretion is the better part of valor?

Doesn't happen to me often but I've done it before, has it ever happened to anyone else?



If you're tempted to ask what the topic was, let's leave that for later if at all...

Yes, actually. It probably happens more with replies (probably not an hour on a reply but sometimes as much as 15 or 20 minutes).

What is interesting to me is why the self-censorship occurs.

The main reasons I've self-censored myself (whether with deleting a reply I was working on or deleting an original post) are (1) I decided I wasn't adding anything to what was already said in that or another thread (this is usually the reason I self censor), (2) I thought anything I could say might hurt someone's feelings, (3) I felt that there wasn't anyway to say what I wanted to say without revealing too much personal information, and (4) I felt what I was going to post was going to create something too contentious.

 

[Ready]

I hope the weather gets better for all of us very soon, so we have more exciting things to do than respond to this post.

 

[Gumby]

Many, many years ago, when I was a young plebe at the Naval Academy, we were required to memorize a poem by Admiral R.A. Hopper of the Royal Navy. Called "The Laws of the Navy", among its 27 stanzas were the following two, which have served me well ever since.

Dost think in a moment of anger
'Tis well with thy seniors to fight?
They prosper, who burn in the morning,
The letters they wrote overnight.

For many are shelved and forgotten,
With nothing to thank for their fate,
But that on a half sheet of foolscap
A fool "Had the honour to state."

​

Here on ER-Org, I have probably composed and then deleted as many things as I have actually posted.

 

[imoldernu]

I just spent over an hour composing a new thread on a pretty serious FIRE topic with links & quotes, wholesale edited it several times, and ultimately just deleted it altogether. Discretion is the better part of valor?

Doesn't happen to me often but I've done it before, has it ever happened to anyone else?



If you're tempted to ask what the topic was, let's leave that for later if at all...

At least once a day... My posts are often lengthy, so an hour is not unusual.
Am very concerned with the state of the world, and spend too much time trying to analyze and find solutions...
Have learned that politics is not a good subject here, so most of the controversial stuff goes to other forums that are philosophy-based.

Read a review of the forum that complained that the moderators were too "picky". Seems to me, to be a compliment, and the very reason for the website's popularity. Nice to be able to disagree, without the snarkiness that often typifies many forums.

 

[steelyman]

I think it's good to ask yourself "would you say this face to face?" before posting.

I've not always succeeded.

 

[harley]

Of course I have. I think most people who post regularly have. I've even (at least once) written something (usually after those beverages Walt referred to) and then when I became more lucid had to ask the mods to delete it for me. That way even though many people witnessed my asshattery there's no permanent record.

 

[ER Eddie]

Yes, I find myself self-censoring a lot, because I suspect the mods will just remove it anyway, as they may well remove this post. I find myself drifting away, becoming much less interested in posting here than I was in the beginning, because of this. I'm censoring myself even within this post. Different strokes; I'm sure a lot of people appreciate the controlled environment; I prefer more freedom.

 

[robnplunder]

[Mod edit]

I have been in forums where more freedom was given. Unfortunately, there are those who can't make the best use of their freedom. This is the best moderated forum I have seen. I appreciate it. I recently had one of my post censored and the moderator was absolutely right. I appreciate that, too.

 

[Lsbcal]

I just spent over an hour composing a new thread on a pretty serious FIRE topic with links & quotes, wholesale edited it several times, and ultimately just deleted it altogether. Discretion is the better part of valor?

Doesn't happen to me often but I've done it before, has it ever happened to anyone else?
...

My self imposed rules are:
1) Does it add to the topic or offer an interesting point of view?
2) Does it have a positive tone to it?
3) Is it concise so others might even read it?

I think I've already said too much. And yes, I have been known to scrub a written comment or even delete after posting.

 

[HFWR]

In between wisecracks and quips, I sometimes post something serious...

But I try to keep that to a minimum.

 

[Dawg52]

I've had a few replies I failed to pull the trigger on. I figured they would just get deleted anyway.

 

[Chuckanut]

Here on ER-Org, I have probably composed and then deleted as many things as I have actually posted.

+1

 

[Chuckanut]

I find that even what I thought was a clear, well thought out post often is misinterpreted. Or perhaps,just perhaps, the post was not as well written as I thought.

 

[Act2]

Sometimes it is hard to recognize the difference between therapy and communication, especially re: an issue on which one has very strong feelings. Those who recognize their rant was merely therapeutic and does not move the ball down the field have a better chance of deleting an ill-considered post before sending.

I try, especially online, to actively assume good intentions on the part of other posters. (But it does seem some people get their jollies from being online jerks. Fortunately, this forum seems to have less of that behavior than so many others.)

I truly appreciate the wisdom shared on this site. And to all those who are able to respectfully discuss topics with those who have very different perspectives, kudos.

 

[MBAustin]

The main reasons I've self-censored myself (whether with deleting a reply I was working on or deleting an original post) are (1) I decided I wasn't adding anything to what was already said in that or another thread (this is usually the reason I self censor), (2) I thought anything I could say might hurt someone's feelings, (3) I felt that there wasn't anyway to say what I wanted to say without revealing too much personal information, and (4) I felt what I was going to post was going to create something too contentious.

Very similar to my reasons for deleting before posting, especially #3.

(Remainder of post self-censored )

 

[NW-Bound]

In between wisecracks and quips, I sometimes post something serious...

But I try to keep that to a minimum.

Life's too short to be too serious.

 

[Amethyst]

This forum strikes a balance between every other special interest forum - where people attack other posters and basically get away with it - and a needlework forum, populated (apparently) entirely by women, which I left because of members' passive-aggressive behavior. That forum had an owner/moderator, who had nothing to do: no one ever used any dirty words, said mean things, or made any political comments.

The needlework forum was supposed to be about learning from one another's work. In actual practice, it went like this: you indicated whether you liked other members by lavishly praising photos of their work, even if it was poor quality. If the members decided they didn't like a member, they would simply fail to leave any compliments on her photos. It ended up with the silliest women receiving all the compliments, and the smarter ones getting none.

Amethyst

 

[Lsbcal]

Ouch, that sounds painful Amethsyt. And here I thought all those ladies seem to get along better then the guys that just stick to themselves.

Strange dynamics in groups of more then one.

 

[Amethyst]

Lsbcal,

Mixed-sex groups tend to get along best, in my experience (real life as well as on-line interest forums). I've always been happier in a mixed-sex workplace, for example, than in one that was either all-female, or where I was the only female (which happened a few times, when I was starting out).

I'm not sure how to phrase it, but it's almost as if the women and men keep tabs on each other and try not to offend each other. Whereas, a mostly single-sex group tends to demonstrate the worst social aspects of that sex, and even gangs up on members.

Again, I'm not sure if I've put this correctly, and it doesn't hold true for the "open Internet," such as the comments you see after newspaper articles, where the commenters are probably mixed-sex and commit all sorts of horrid personal attacks on each another. And they sure don't seem to self-censor!

Amethyst

Ouch, that sounds painful Amethsyt. And here I thought all those ladies seem to get along better then the guys that just stick to themselves.

Strange dynamics in groups of more then one.

 

[Gumby]

I'm not sure how to phrase it, but it's almost as if the women and men keep tabs on each other and try not to offend each other. Whereas, a mostly single-sex group tends to demonstrate the worst social aspects of that sex, and even gangs up on members.

The young wife is a high school teacher. Her area is child development and early childhood education, so she usually has all-girl classes. She has told me that on the rare occasions when she has had boys, her classes behave better. Even if there is only one boy and 24 girls, the girls are calmer and nicer to each other than when she has 25 girls.

 

[Midpack]

Mixed-sex groups tend to get along best, in my experience (real life as well as on-line interest forums). I've always been happier in a mixed-sex workplace, for example, than in one that was either all-female, or where I was the only female (which happened a few times, when I was starting out).

+1. My experience as well, all females or all males can be insufferable. It is interesting to see how the group dynamic changes for the better when both sexes are represented.

 

[travelover]

This forum strikes a balance between every other special interest forum - where people attack other posters and basically get away with it ..........Amethyst

Agreed. I've seen both extremes - where moderators just deleted posts right and left without even the courtesy of notifying the poster, and other forums where vicious personal, political and religious attacks were commonplace with no moderation in sight.