 |
|
12-08-2019, 10:52 PM
|
#21
|
|
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: DuPage County IL
Posts: 2,727
|
guy asks me, “How are ya?”
i answer, “I’m vertical AND aware of it!”
__________________
Rich
Ham Radio, Sport Pilot, RVer
FIRE: 8/11/2005, age 55y,1d
Dispatcher, then shift supv, then administrator for a regional 9-1-1 call center
|
|
|
 |
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!
Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!
|
|
12-09-2019, 05:58 AM
|
#22
|
|
Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 402
|
Senior Sayings
My doctor wanted urine, blood, and stool samples, so I gave him my underwear. (insert rimshot here)
__________________
"The future's uncertain, and the end is always near. Let it roll, baby, roll." - The Doors
|
|
|
|
|
12-09-2019, 07:35 AM
|
#23
|
|
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 8,410
|
 Quote:
Originally Posted by Midpack
Buddy of mine used to say, when we’re young we check for ‘phone, wallet, keys’ before leaving home. When we’re old it’s ‘phone, wallet, keys, zipper.’ I might add ‘glasses.’
|
A variation: "Watch, wallet, spectacles, test*cles"
__________________
Living well is the best revenge!
Retired @ 52 in 2005
|
|
|
|
|
12-09-2019, 07:52 AM
|
#24
|
|
Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 335
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Midpack
My Dad always used to say “too soon old, too late smart.” Seems more true with every passing year.
Buddy of mine used to say, when we’re young we check for ‘phone, wallet, keys’ before leaving home. When we’re old it’s ‘phone, wallet, keys, zipper.’ I might add ‘glasses.’
|
It's so bad at my house that DW and I have to frisk each other to make sure we have the keys, wallets, etc.
|
|
|
|
|
12-09-2019, 07:56 AM
|
#25
|
|
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 10,930
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by davismills
It's so bad at my house that DW and I have to frisk each other to make sure we have the keys, wallets, etc.
|
Maybe that could be counted "as an occurrence" on the sexual frequency poll that was recently started.
|
|
|
|
|
12-09-2019, 07:59 AM
|
#26
|
|
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Tellico Village
Posts: 2,622
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Car-Guy
Maybe that could be counted "as an occurrence" on the sexual frequency poll that was recently started.
|
You beat me to that one!! 
__________________
Retired May 13th(Friday) 2016 at age 61.
|
|
|
|
|
12-09-2019, 08:32 AM
|
#27
|
|
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 4,373
|
"I don't know how I had time to work"
__________________
The problem isn't artificial intelligence, it's natural stupidity.
You can't spend yourself to prosperity.
Semi-Retired 7/1/16: working part-time (60%) for now [4/24/17 changed to 80%]
Retired Aug 2, 2017; age 53
|
|
|
|
|
12-09-2019, 09:52 AM
|
#28
|
|
Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 617
|
"I don't want to"
So sweet post retirement.
|
|
|
|
|
12-09-2019, 12:47 PM
|
#29
|
|
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Texas~29N/98W Just West of Woman Hollering Creek
Posts: 6,674
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by marko
A variation: "Watch, wallet, spectacles, test*cles"
|
"Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch" was the punch line of a good joke I heard about 50 years ago, but I do not recall the front end of the joke... 
__________________
Part-Owner of Texas
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. Groucho Marx
In dire need of: faster horses, younger woman, older whiskey, more money.
|
|
|
|
|
12-09-2019, 01:01 PM
|
#30
|
|
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Cholula
Posts: 1,595
|
The priest and the rabbi are driving along in the car, and a deer jumps out in front of the car. The driver swerves to miss the deer (of COURSE), but they end up crashing the car.
The priest gets up, unscathed, brushes himself off, and then looks for the rabbi to give him help. The rabbi is unharmed as well, and the priest sees him touch his forehead, his low stomach, and either breast. The priest is elated.
"You have finally seen the light! It took this horrible happening, but you've finally come around to the true belief!"
The rabbi looks at him, puzzled, and asks him what he's talking about.
"You got up and made the sign of the cross... surely this ordeal has converted you."
The rabbi shook his head. "I was just making sure everything was allright. Spectacles, testicles, wallet, and watch."
__________________
“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.” – Jack Handey
|
|
|
|
|
12-10-2019, 04:46 AM
|
#31
|
|
gone traveling
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 435
|
"""wanna smoke a bowl?"""" hear that a lot lately! senior is 'the' demographic, they say.
|
|
|
|
|
12-10-2019, 07:13 AM
|
#32
|
|
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pacific latitude 20/49
Posts: 7,677
|
Older than dirt.
Never waste a hard one.
Sometimes forgetting is a good thing (and for everything else there's Google)
How many steps did you do today? It is not the quantity but the quality. (Should have used that in that other thread!)
__________________
For the fun of it...Keith
|
|
|
|
|
12-10-2019, 08:19 AM
|
#33
|
|
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: The Great Wide Open
Posts: 3,804
|
^^^
Who'd you think gave dirt its name?
|
|
|
|
|
12-10-2019, 11:28 AM
|
#34
|
|
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 3,083
|
"Can you print out this email?"
"I taped the game last night."
"What's your fax number?"
"I'm just going to stick with Windows XP. It works fine enough."
|
|
|
|
|
12-10-2019, 11:39 AM
|
#35
|
|
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Cholula
Posts: 1,595
|
"She has more nerve than Carter's has pills"
"He fell ass over tea kettle!"
__________________
“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.” – Jack Handey
|
|
|
|
|
12-10-2019, 12:05 PM
|
#36
|
|
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Everett
Posts: 1,593
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by VanWinkle
"Dryer than a popcorn fart", my DW.
|
Ah ha! My mom, 90, has always said, "Deader than a popcorn fart," and I could never figure out what that meant. How can a fart be dead? "Dryer" makes sense. Especially if the popcorn was made in an air popper!
Now I wonder, will I be able to correct her without provoking her contrary nature??
|
|
|
|
|
12-10-2019, 12:12 PM
|
#37
|
|
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Everett
Posts: 1,593
|
Hotter than a bandit's pistol.
Loose as a goose and twice as shifty.
He wouldn't say "sh!t" if he had a mouth full of it.
|
|
|
|
|
12-10-2019, 12:42 PM
|
#38
|
|
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 12,655
|
Since I was a kid, I've noticed old people use the word "ridiculous." A lot. More than young people.
Prices and invoices are invariably "ridiculous!"
Any change to their routine, favorite place to sit, menu, anything really - "That's ridiculous!"
Whatever is going on in Washington - "Ridiculous!"
I don't know how much of it is due to losing one's vocabulary (relying on fewer and fewer words) and how much is inability to tolerate change.
__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.’ Christopher Morley.
Even a blind clock finds an acorn twice a day.
|
|
|
|
|
12-10-2019, 01:12 PM
|
#39
|
|
Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Conroe, Texas
Posts: 18,727
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst
Since I was a kid, I've noticed old people use the word "ridiculous." A lot. More than young people.
Prices and invoices are invariably "ridiculous!"
Any change to their routine, favorite place to sit, menu, anything really - "That's ridiculous!"
Whatever is going on in Washington - "Ridiculous!"
I don't know how much of it is due to losing one's vocabulary (relying on fewer and fewer words) and how much is inability to tolerate change.
|
Some of us old timers never had much vocabulary to start with! 
__________________
*********Go Yankees!*********
|
|
|
|
|
12-10-2019, 02:16 PM
|
#40
|
|
Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 821
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst
Since I was a kid, I've noticed old people use the word "ridiculous." A lot. More than young people.
Prices and invoices are invariably "ridiculous!"
Any change to their routine, favorite place to sit, menu, anything really - "That's ridiculous!"
Whatever is going on in Washington - "Ridiculous!"
I don't know how much of it is due to losing one's vocabulary (relying on fewer and fewer words) and how much is inability to tolerate change.
|
Inconceivable !!!
__________________
“Earth is the insane asylum of the universe.”
― Albert Einstein
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
|
|
|
| Thread Tools |
|
|
| Display Modes |
 Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
» Recent Threads
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
» Quick Links
|
|
|
