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Old 06-05-2017, 12:57 PM   #161
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Just a little harmless "politics" interjected into the conversation, lol.
Ah.... Understood. You had a wingman.

Next time I will ask my two good Russian friends, Rimsky and Korsakov, for help. They would make great wingmen.
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Old 06-05-2017, 01:17 PM   #162
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I thought this thread might only get 3 responses if that but what an amazing perspective from so many smart people and in various stages of life. Thank you for being open and sharing your thoughts, stories and background.
Like many, I married a great woman and figured that I would be married until I left this life (she was younger and a woman, so the stats favored that result). Alas, she flew the coop and ran off leaving me with one child still at home and another heartbroken over what had happened to our family.

I soon found out that married friends hung out with married friends (just like I we did) and were just about useless for finding a new partner.

I also found out that remarrying at an older age, especially if two people have children and financial assets is tough. Even if they get along well, there are issues:
  • Ex spouse can be a pain sometimes.
  • How do we split holiday time?
  • How do we share some asset, but leave mine to my kids and yours to your kids?
  • I don't want to marry you and care for another man, I did that once and it was enough!
  • And, the worst of all, is when I burdened with the ex-husband's baggage. Not fair!
So, if you are happily married my best advice is to stay that way.

That said, if I was miserable in a marriage and all reasonable attempts to change for the better had failed, I would rather deal with above bullet points than live in a toxic relationship.

Still, there are a lot of great single people out there and perseverance, some discretion, a strong sense of self, and a loving an giving personality is what is needed. And, for us men, it helps to be financially secure, bath regularly and not drink to much.
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Old 06-05-2017, 01:32 PM   #163
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And, for us men, it helps to be financially secure, bathe regularly and not drink too much.
I think most men would appreciate a woman with those qualities, too!
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Old 06-05-2017, 02:12 PM   #164
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Sorry about the coop-flying, especially with chicks still in the nest.

It behooves both men and women to know what they can bring to a relationship. And that includes "baggage." Everybody's got some to carry, but some people need an entire brigade of bellhops.

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Li
I also found out that remarrying at an older age, especially if two people have children and financial assets is tough. Even if they get along well, there are issues:
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Old 06-05-2017, 02:29 PM   #165
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Mulligan, it works both ways.

But can we get it to rhyme like she did....I dont have a purse, lol.
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Old 06-05-2017, 03:06 PM   #166
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But can we get it to rhyme like she did....I dont have a purse, lol.
We'll have to work on that....
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Old 06-05-2017, 03:19 PM   #167
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But can we get it to rhyme like she did....I dont have a purse, lol.
You could get a murse.

Bag Type - Murses - Page 1 - ModernManBags.com
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Old 06-05-2017, 03:35 PM   #168
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There you go, Mul!!!

(Thanks Meadbh!!)
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Old 06-05-2017, 04:49 PM   #169
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I've seen this nurse-and-purse remark in every Internet discussion of marriage. I wonder if actual nurses find it insulting. I have met a couple of male nurses who are hotties.

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I recently talked to a regular at the workout place I go too. She is 70 and considering to move away to find a better chance to find a significant other. She said "The only men around here that are a available either want a nurse or the purse".
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Old 06-05-2017, 05:17 PM   #170
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In the extremely unlikely event that I meet a woman compatible with my rather unconventional lifestyle and interests, she would merely add spice to what is already a wonderful life. I'm very lucky to be able to live as I do, and she should feel the same way about her own life.

BTW: never married, and never will be married. 😎
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Old 06-05-2017, 05:42 PM   #171
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Interesting post and I believe it isn't the norm today like it was 40 and 50 plus years ago.

I once was told by an old timer he said don't get married till you are older in life. Then he said marry one that can wheel you around in the wheel chair. Lol
My grandfather did this in his 70's... He'd outlived two wives after nursing both through debilitating terminal diseases (brain tumor and alzheimer.) At that point knew his health was starting to decline... and married a woman (he met through church) who needed financial security and he needed a caretaker. Unfortunately, they didn't get along as well as hoped and after 5 years he divorced her. Fortunately he was from a very large family and a younger sister (15 years or so younger) took care of him in his later years.

Marrying for a nurse is not always a good idea.
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Old 06-05-2017, 05:52 PM   #172
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Maybe a young doctor is a better idea.
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Old 06-05-2017, 07:52 PM   #173
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Divorced over 20 years ago. If I find the right woman, I could see getting married again, but I'm not really looking these days. I think I'm just too picky and set in my ways.
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Old 06-05-2017, 08:00 PM   #174
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So, if you are happily married my best advice is to stay that way.
I apologize in advance... I just could not resist...

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Old 06-06-2017, 07:25 AM   #175
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Originally Posted by Chuckanut View Post
Like many, I married a great woman and figured that I would be married until I left this life (she was younger and a woman, so the stats favored that result). Alas, she flew the coop and ran off leaving me with one child still at home and another heartbroken over what had happened to our family.

I soon found out that married friends hung out with married friends (just like I we did) and were just about useless for finding a new partner.

I also found out that remarrying at an older age, especially if two people have children and financial assets is tough. Even if they get along well, there are issues:
  • Ex spouse can be a pain sometimes.
  • How do we split holiday time?
  • How do we share some asset, but leave mine to my kids and yours to your kids?
  • I don't want to marry you and care for another man, I did that once and it was enough!
  • And, the worst of all, is when I burdened with the ex-husband's baggage. Not fair!
So, if you are happily married my best advice is to stay that way.

That said, if I was miserable in a marriage and all reasonable attempts to change for the better had failed, I would rather deal with above bullet points than live in a toxic relationship.

Still, there are a lot of great single people out there and perseverance, some discretion, a strong sense of self, and a loving an giving personality is what is needed. And, for us men, it helps to be financially secure, bath regularly and not drink to much.
Good post. Healthy perspective in my opinion. Agree that almost anything is better than a toxic marriage, that's why divorce costs so much(it's worth it). Life ain't easy sometimes but you can't give up. Good luck.
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Old 06-06-2017, 09:22 AM   #176
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I recently talked to a regular at the workout place I go too. She is 70 and considering to move away to find a better chance to find a significant other. She said "The only men around here that are a available either want a nurse or the purse".
I live in Florida so I know plenty of 70 year old women and they are all looking for a guy to take them to dinner frequently and of course pay for everything but not require anything in return.These are women who have a decent amount socked away .
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Old 06-06-2017, 09:31 AM   #177
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I live in Florida so I know plenty of 70 year old women and they are all looking for a guy to take them to dinner frequently and of course pay for everything but not require anything in return.These are women who have a decent amount socked away .
Interesting. Does one expect anything in return from women from 70 year old group? I like single men to chime in on this.
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Old 06-06-2017, 09:51 AM   #178
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Can you quantify their success rate?

I used to try to pay for my own dinner when I was 21. Nobody would let me. I bet they would let me do it now and I'm not 70 yet.

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I live in Florida so I know plenty of 70 year old women and they are all looking for a guy to take them to dinner frequently and of course pay for everything but not require anything in return.These are women who have a decent amount socked away .
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Old 06-06-2017, 09:54 AM   #179
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I used to try to pay for my own dinner when I was 21. Nobody would let me. I bet they would let me do it now and I'm not 70 yet.
That's equality for you...
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Old 06-06-2017, 10:03 AM   #180
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If it's equality now, what was it when I was 21? LOL Those who thought they were getting an "exchange" usually went away hungry, double LOL

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That's equality for you...
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