single people - how long would it take someone to notice you missing?

[ImaCheesehead]

It took 10 days for my brother to be found after he died.

He was only 51, lived alone, no longer worked, and was generally estranged from his children, 2 ex spouses, me (his only sibling), and our only living parent. Alcohol caused the estrangement and his death. So very sad.

 

[Janet from FIRE Planet]

Im like her. And I feel that nobody would miss me anyway.

IDK your personal situation. But I say: to heck with everyone else! We (you and I & others like us) have the right, to live our life. Who cares if someone "misses" us or is even happy we are gone? The point of this thread, to me, is: we do not want to be in need of help, and on the floor for days.

 

[gayl]

This thread is so sad!! My heart goes out to all of you who feel that no one would notice for hours or days. There must be a way to keep yourselves safe

FWIW I am solo but definitely not alone

 

[FIREd]

My mother lives alone and I talk to her nearly everyday. But she doesn’t always answer the phone and I can’t get worried every time she doesn’t. She doesn’t hear the phone ringing without her hearing aids (and she rarely wears them), and she doesn’t like to be bothered during her favorite TV programs... since I live nearby, a more reliable indicator is the position of her window shutters when I pass by her house. They open and close like clockwork.

 

[2tswhite]

My 90 yr old father who is in very good health but, lives alone and I'm a 1000 miles away. I call him every few days but sometimes his phone acts up - he doesn't get the cordless receiver on just right or I get the message "this persons voicemail is full, try again later". That's when I start calling my aunts, uncles and cousins who live near him. Someone will go out and check and thankfully, so far, everything is good. DH fixed the voicemail problem: called spectrum and had them turn off the voicemail. He does have a cell phone, but keeps it turned off

 

[DayDreaming]

How long does it take for decomposition to stink up a neighborhood?

My neighbors would assume that the smell was a dead deer in the woods, and probably just ignore it.

 

[Kroeran]

There are services that do that. Here is one:
Daily Phone Call for Seniors

A bit of googling will find many more.

I use this one for my mother

Calling Care

Acts like a dead man’s switch.

If you don’t pick up the phone, the computer notifies whoever you specify

I would be worried about falling or not being able to reach phone.

I think every 12 hours is a good check in cycle

 

[Youngblood]

I live alone and I'm single (and still working).

I was talking with my co-workers/friends about an incident where I started choking on vitamin. I basically had to give myself the Heimlich on the kitchen counter. I was able to cough up the pill and collect myself.

It was scary at the time, but I was joking with my friends about this. I asked them if I did die, how long would it take you guys to figure out I was dead. They figured it would be 2 days for no call / no shows until they would call or come by to check. I thought that wasn't too bad. However, like other people have mentioned, if I take the work element out, it might be a little longer. So yeah, when I do reach early retirement, I might need to look into a neighborhood watch system or something

 

[Youngblood]

Oh yeah....I switched to chewable vitamins after that

 

[FIREd]

I was talking with my co-workers/friends about an incident where I started choking on vitamin. I basically had to give myself the Heimlich on the kitchen counter. I was able to cough up the pill and collect myself.

It happened to me too, though I choked on bread while eating breakfast instead of a pill. I was married at the time, though my wife had already left for work and I was home alone. Being married and living with someone else didn't help me get out of that jam. Had I not saved myself, she would have found me dead 10 hours later when she came home from work.

 

[Youngblood]

It happened to me too, though I choked on bread while eating breakfast instead of a pill. I was married at the time, though my wife had already left for work and I was home alone. Being married and living with someone else didn't help me get out of that jam. Had I not saved myself, she would have found me dead 10 hours later when she came home from work.

FIREd, I'm glad you were able to save yourself, too. It definitely creates a panic.

When I was choking, I was actually looking at my cat and thinking it was going to eat my face, lol.

 

[razztazz]

FIREd, I'm glad you were able to save yourself, too. It definitely creates a panic.

When I was choking, I was actually looking at my cat and thinking it was going to eat my face, lol.

True story in real life. Right here in Omaha maybe 10 yrs ago, a guy who lived alone had some sort of seizure and died. When his two pet pugs ran out of food in the bowl they ate his face off. The Humane Society said the dogs would have to be destroyed because it was assumed nobody would want to adopt them, but a family came along and adopted them.

 

[Koolau]

I’m all alone with maybe one friend who calls occasionally. No family in state.

I use an app called Snug. It lets you list emergency contacts and prompts you to check in every day. If you don’t check in within a certain time limit, your contacts are called to take action.

That sounds like an excellent idea. I'm guessing it's not very expensive either.

Using Alexa for help also sounds like a good (if not perfect) solution to falls, etc. YMMV

 

[Calico]

That sounds like an excellent idea. I'm guessing it's not very expensive either.

Using Alexa for help also sounds like a good (if not perfect) solution to falls, etc. YMMV

I liked the sound of it too, so I googled it.

https://www.snugsafe.com/

There is a free version and a paid version ($99.99/yr). It looks like exactly what I need.

This thread has convinced me that I need to set something up sooner rather than later.

 

[jollystomper]

I'm single for the week, DW is away visiting some of her relatives (cat's away, mice will play... mostly golf ).

Sure enough, youngest DS (his job is less than 10 minutes away) dropped by after work, supposedly to pick up something for his apartment. He may have been checking on me, as at one point I heard him talking to DW.

An hour after let let we texted about a few things, the net result being we'll be having dinner tomorrow at a restaurant near his apartment.

Meanwhile, middle DS wants to have a Zoom chat Friday since we haven't zoomed in a couple of weeks. Likely checking up on me as well...

 

[Calico]

I'm single for the week, DW is away visiting some of her relatives (cat's away, mice will play... mostly golf ).

Sure enough, youngest DS (his job is less than 10 minutes away) dropped by after work, supposedly to pick up something for his apartment. He may have been checking on me, as at one point I heard him talking to DW.

An hour after let let we texted about a few things, the net result being we'll be having dinner tomorrow at a restaurant near his apartment.

Meanwhile, middle DS wants to have a Zoom chat Friday since we haven't zoomed in a couple of weeks. Likely checking up on me as well...

This is too funny!!

Is this what you call "stealth" check-ins, instigated (most likely) by your DW?

 

[Koolau]

I'm single for the week, DW is away visiting some of her relatives (cat's away, mice will play... mostly golf ).

Sure enough, youngest DS (his job is less than 10 minutes away) dropped by after work, supposedly to pick up something for his apartment. He may have been checking on me, as at one point I heard him talking to DW.

An hour after let let we texted about a few things, the net result being we'll be having dinner tomorrow at a restaurant near his apartment.

Meanwhile, middle DS wants to have a Zoom chat Friday since we haven't zoomed in a couple of weeks. Likely checking up on me as well...

Don't you feel special when the kids dote on you? Maybe you even think "I don't need all this attention." But admit it, it's wonderful.

Our kids have ever so slowly warmed up to us now that they've been out on their own for a while. I've had to stifle a sniff or even a tear when they show affection now that we're "old."

Enjoy! You worked hard to deserve their love and respect.

 

[jollystomper]

This is too funny!!

Is this what you call "stealth" check-ins, instigated (most likely) by your DW?

Could be . I did miss a call from her when I was in the dentist office in the morning, I texted her that I would call her back when I was done. But I forgot as after the dentist I ran off to the golf course to practice before my tee time. SO perhaps she thought something happened to me at the dentist .

Don't you feel special when the kids dote on you? Maybe you even think "I don't need all this attention." But admit it, it's wonderful.

Our kids have ever so slowly warmed up to us now that they've been out on their own for a while. I've had to stifle a sniff or even a tear when they show affection now that we're "old."

Enjoy! You worked hard to deserve their love and respect.

Thanks! DW and I joke that the kids may now have realized that they will be getting an inheritance and want to make sure they stay on our good side .

 

[CaptTom]

Given the difficulty of getting older folks to use a cell phone or other technology, I'm thinking smart speakers like Alexa may be the core of a technological solution. I'm picturing Alexa asking "Hey, Grampa, you OK?" if no activity has been detected over a certain period.

I'm not a big fan of computers talking to me, and I"m quite sure they don't want to hear what I have to say to them, but in this case I can see some benefit to the smart speakers my kids' generation are so into.

 

[tulak]

Maybe good advice is to avoid having everything on autopay?

Norway death: Police ask how Oslo man's body lay in flat for nine years

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-56677926

 

[meekie]

I wish there was a sensor on a cell phone that you could set for something like 12 hours without movement/interaction that could alert people in your list. All the people I know will check in on their phones at least that often. Heck, even if just facebook would say X has not been on in 24 hours, that would be a pretty good indication for a few people I know.

I did see an ad for a new fall detection system that has sensors in the home as well as a wearable, but I can't seem to find it now. The technology does seem to be getting better.