Social Networking Resource for FIRE High-Achiever Lady with no kids?

[erlwnk]

Being a geeky extroverted introvert, I desire a small circle of close friends (my husband is counted as one).

Sadly, two of my best friends had passed on in their prime prior to my early retirement.

In addition to taking online classes & occasionally participating in online Meetup events, I find it difficult to find friendship of like mind, even more so in light of the current local pandemic situation.


I’d love to get some ideas. Thank you.

[MBAustin]

I'd suggest thinking about activities and/or causes that interest you and then finding a way to engage with groups that are involved with that. For example, if you like being outdoors, many REI stores have group hikes, etc. If you're into gardening, take the Master Gardener class to meet others and learn more. For books, many libraries sponsor book clubs. Or find a nonprofit or other volunteer organization and look for opportunities to volunteer.

Although indoor activities are still limited, outdoor activities are going on, and the indoor ones I suspect will be opening up more in many areas of the country soon (even if masks will be de rigeur for a bit longer).

Good luck!

[pacergal]

I understand Toastmasters is a good place to meet folks, but not sure if there are many groups meeting in person now.
I agree a with MB in joining classes of interest also.

[daylatedollarshort]

We join clubs. That is where we've met most of our friends. We usually belong to several clubs each year. We aren't always super active in all of them, but if we want more things to do or need to make more friends, the club activities are always an option.

I've read articles that places like classes and the gym being good places to make friends, and that might work out for some. But people go to the gym to get fit and take classes to learn something, so they may or may not be looking for new friends. But most clubs by definition are where people go to socialize and meet like minded souls.

[harllee]

The ways I have met the most friends:

Playing golf. I joined a women's golf group at the local club (did not have to be a club member) and met many new friends

Dance. DH and I love to dance. Pre-pandemic we took dance lessons and went to dance venues and met many new friends.

Church. I have many friends I met in Church.

[daylatedollarshort]

The bast advice I have read on making friends went something like this - The people who have the most rewarding friendships seem to have a circle or 4 -5 close friends or couples. They may have many more acquaintances. They also belong to 3 - 4 clubs / church / community organizations, but aren't necessarily active in all of them at all times. However, when some of their friendships fade, friends move away, etc. then they cubs / groups provide a ready pool of potential new friends from their various clubs.


I don't even know where I read this any more, but we have tried to follow it and it does seem to work for us.

[Scuba]

Quote:

Originally Posted by erlwnk Being a geeky extroverted introvert, I desire a small circle of close friends (my husband is counted as one). Sadly, two of my best friends had passed on in their prime prior to my early retirement. In addition to taking online classes & occasionally participating in online Meetup events, I find it difficult to find friendship of like mind, even more so in light of the current local pandemic situation. I’d love to get some ideas. Thank you.

We moved to a new area in late 2019, and COVID hit in March 2020 so our opportunities to make new friends were not as great as I’d hoped. I recently started a women’s social group on MeetUp and have met some wonderful women! It was a fair bit of work setting it up, and it still is, but I’m having fun with it and am enjoying the women I’ve met. I only started it 2 months ago, but hope to form some deeper lasting friendships in addition to gaining many new acquaintances.

If you’re not up for creating your own social group, hopefully there are some in your area you can try.

[target2019]

I found that the time I invested within a group or organization made all the difference. For example, if I had shown up at the computer user group meeting in 1980, asked a question, left, and not participated in a meaningful way, I would have not made any friends. As it turned out I spent 5 years or so helping run the group, and gained one important friend.

Even more important, if I had thought to myself to exclude those who were not of my type or characteristics, then I also would have missed out on this friend and many others through the years.

Good luck with your search.

[erlwnk]

Thank you so very much for everyone who takes time out to answer my question. Your generosity and recommendations are very much appreciated.

I am still smarting from the profound pain & sadness of the early passing of my two close friends due to cancer. Sometimes it makes me think about my own mortality, despite being at a young retirement age. I guess I am stuck in an emotional rut at the moment.

Being a geeky introvert, I am always on the quiet side - prefer listening more than to speaking, reactive more than proactive when it comes to social interaction.

Life goes on and I do need a solid social network in my early retirement phase. Currently, I think I will seek out opportunities the best I can and see what serendipity might bring me.

[erlwnk]

Quote:

Originally Posted by target2019 I found that the time I invested within a group or organization made all the difference.

Quote:

Originally Posted by target2019 Even more important, if I had thought to myself to exclude those who were not of my type or characteristics, then I also would have missed out on this friend and many others through the years.

Thank you! I think I will seek out more volunteer opportunities once the pandemic situation is under better control locally.



Your insight is right to the point. Go with the flow and see what the unexpected might bring. After all, "Surprise comes from defying expectations."

THANK YOU!