Speaking of calling....

[omni550]

Makes me wonder if there have been any online relationships on this forum that turned into more than that?

I'd be curious to find out.

Years ago, I was once emailed by a female troll via this site who thought that I (being a single FIREd engineer) was an eligible (and moneyed) male.

omni

 

[MichaelB]

I'd be curious to find out.

Years ago, I was once emailed by a female troll via this site who thought that I (being a single FIREd engineer) was an eligible (and moneyed) male.

omni

Female troll = trollette

 

[jclarksnakes]

All us married folks love these threads. The only reason to have single friends is so we can live vicariously through their tales about their dating experiences.

 

[omni550]

All us married folks love these threads. The only reason to have single friends is so we can live vicariously through their tales about their dating experiences.

Thus proving that the grass isn't always greener?

omni

 

[Nords]

Seems like forums could be a good way to get to know people and figure out who you like. I know there are several on here that I would like to meet in person for dinner and a few margaritas. Makes me wonder if there have been any online relationships on this forum that turned into more than that?

You're going to have to read the perpetual-travel threads more closely.

"What happens in the RV, stays in the RV"...

 

[veremchuka]

I haven't dated in about 5 years. The expectation that I do all the work is exhausting. I'm supposed to initiate. I'm supposed to call. I'm supposed to determine where we go. I'm supposed to pick her up or drive to a place near her home. I'm supposed to pay. After the date, I'm a jerk if I don't call - but only if she likes me. If she doesn't like me, then I'm a jerk if I do call. It's my fault for not being able to read her mind. Like I said, it's exhausting. It's not worth it.

 

[yakers]

So there I am, some years ago, on a singles hike. I met several nice ladies who were teachers. We decided to go for breakfast. At the time I had set up a donation program for used NASA computers to be donated to local schools and the ladies were interested, at least in the computers
I had my eye (and brain & the rest of me) on one of them but no way to just speak to her. So I gave them all my business card but one also had my home phone written on the back. She called. Three years later we were married, still going after 18 years
Retired 4 years ago, DW 6 years ago. On an adventure trip to Viet Nam & Cambodia as I post, in Hoi AN on the way to Anchor Wat tomorrow.
Simple advice, if you are interested call, if not don’t worry about it. Just don’t avoid calling because you have his number and not the other way around. Life is too short to not go after what you want.

 

[omni550]

So there I am, some years ago, on a singles hike. I met several nice ladies who were teachers. We decided to go for breakfast. At the time I had set up a donation program for used NASA computers to be donated to local schools and the ladies were interested, at least in the computers
I had my eye (and brain & the rest of me) on one of them but no way to just speak to her. So I gave them all my business card but one also had my home phone written on the back. She called. Three years later we were married, still going after 18 years
Retired 4 years ago, DW 6 years ago. On an adventure trip to Viet Nam & Cambodia as I post, in Hoi AN on the way to Anchor Wat tomorrow.
Simple advice, if you are interested call, if not don’t worry about it. Just don’t avoid calling because you have his number and not the other way around. Life is too short to not go after what you want.

yakers,

What a great [success] story!

And I like your philosophy "Life is too short to not go after what you want."

omni
A great

 

[Shawn]

I wonder what that says about dating in general, or just about the type of people you meet on dating websites.

One conclusion could be that the truly desirable* people never need to resort to dating websites.

* [In the sense of "life partner", not "lust at first sight"...]

Of course, that could be said about any mechanism or place where people meet.

Tens of millions people use dating websites. I have no reason to believe that they are not reasonably representative of the general population. With only a few exceptions, the women I've met face-to-face have been very nice. It's difficult to describe nice, but here's what some of them did for a living ... an MD (child psychiatrist); a research chemist; a chemical engineering professor; a PhD engineer at a technology firm; the head (?) of the "philanthropy" department at a large IT firm; a physical therapist; a veterinary nurse; and so on. I even met a marine.

The only girlfriend I met on line is the department chair of nursing at a college. She is a widow (married for 20 years) with 2 children. We dated 8-9 years ago but are still friends. Ironically, for the last 6 years she has been with a man she met on line. She wants to get married but he doesn't feel he is financially ready.

Of the men I personally know who have used dating websites (admittedly a small handful), they are all good people with high levels of integrity and care. With one exception, they are athletic and physically fit. To mention three ... one is a (retired) photographer at a major newspaper; one is an engineer; one is a retired military officer. Any woman would be lucky to have them. In fact, two are now married to women they met online.

Now, perhaps your comment was directed at me. If so, that's fine. It doesn't bother me. But I am offended at any insinuation that the above women and men are not desirable.

I mentioned match.com simply because it is quantifiable. My experiences are equally applicable to women met in other ways (e.g., church, athletic activities, through friends).

I've been on dates with many wonderful women. All the women I've dated more than twice have been great. However, this doesn't change the fact that there was considerable interest in my financial resources. And it doesn't change the fact that they expected me to "do everything" (e.g., call them). There's been only a small number of exceptions.

I remember a date with one woman met through a friend. I liked her. I believe she liked me, or at least that was my impression during and immediately after the date. She said she would call but never did. That made me conclude that my original impression was incorrect and she wasn't interested. So I didn't call her to avoid making her feel uncomfortable. I never promised to call. Later, though, I found out that she was interested in me. She was disappointed that I didn't call. You can criticize me for not being more aggressive. But she said she would call. I made no such promise. The expectation was still on me.

 

[Major Tom]

I'll admit that it was particularly amusing to observe the reaction of some women when I showed up in my 1980 Toyota Corolla Wagon.

Comparative luxury! How'd ya think they'd react when I show up on my old mountain bike that I got for $100 off Craigslist?

I do keep the chain well-oiled though and it has a brand new saddle that cost me $25

It's probably just as well that I couldn't give a hoot what others think of me.

 

[Nords]

Now, perhaps your comment was directed at me. If so, that's fine. It doesn't bother me. But I am offended at any insinuation that the above women and men are not desirable.

Actually it's not about you, it's about the fact that there are many more people out there in real life than there will ever be at online dating sites.

I suspect online dating sites are self-selecting for a certain demographic. They must be highly desirable or the dating site would go out of business, but that doesn't mean that they're long-term matrimonial material.

And I like your philosophy "Life is too short to not go after what you want."

Ruh-roh, suddenly I'm more concerned for the guy who gave omni his phone number...

 

[omni550]

Ruh-roh, suddenly I'm more concerned for the guy who gave omni his phone number...

Nords,

Not to worry. He's safe. I have no plans to call him.

omni