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11-24-2010, 06:49 PM
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#61
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,472
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Khan
I keep hearing about the huge alimony payments.
As distinct from child support.
I got a year of house payments.
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I asked for (and got) nothing. He got the house, the furniture, the boat, etc. Oh, I did get something - - a junker car on its last legs, and an 8 year old sofa, my books, and my clothes, $1000 in the checking account (and my rent was due).... and my freedom. Definitely a great deal IMO.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
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11-24-2010, 06:51 PM
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#62
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 14,328
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R
You guys just HAVE to be kidding. Does alimony even exist any more? Women are pretty close to half the work force, as I recall. The whole idea seem so antiquated in the 21st century.
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It is not uncommon for divorced women to convince judges that they are no longer able to work (anecdotally).
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11-24-2010, 06:54 PM
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#63
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,472
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Quote:
Originally Posted by travelover
It is not uncommon for divorced women to convince judges that they are no longer able to work (anecdotally).
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Pardon my skepticism, but if they have been working for the past ten or twenty years just like their husbands, then what, they quit and run to divorce court? And their husbands don't? Sounds more anecdotal than real to me.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
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11-24-2010, 06:55 PM
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#64
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 14,328
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R
Pardon my skepticism, but if they have been working for the past ten or twenty years then what, they quit and run to divorce court? Sounds more anecdotal than real to me.
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Could be, but it was real for the guys payin'.
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11-24-2010, 06:58 PM
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#65
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,472
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I guess I'm just uninformed, because none of the divorced women I have heard from (anecdotally) in recent years have got a dime of alimony. It's pretty hard to justify in court when you have a solid work record, I would imagine.
Edited to add: Thinking on it, I guess maybe there are some who get alimony but I just don't know any.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
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11-24-2010, 07:04 PM
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#66
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 14,328
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R
I guess I'm just uninformed, because none of the divorced women I have heard from (anecdotally) in recent years have got a dime of alimony. It's pretty hard to justify in court when you have a solid work record, I would imagine.
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I think that the likelihood of alimony varies region to region - here even from county to county.
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11-24-2010, 07:11 PM
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#67
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 388
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R
You guys just HAVE to be kidding. Does alimony even exist any more? Women are pretty close to half the work force, as I recall. The whole idea seem so antiquated in the 21st century.
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"Many divorce agreements provide for alimony or spouse-support payments, which is separate from child-support payments. Americans gave $9.4 billion to former spouses in 2007, up from $5.6 billion a decade earlier, according to the Internal Revenue Service. Men accounted for 97% of alimony-payers last year, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, although the share of women supporting ex-husbands is on the rise."
The New Art of Alimony - WSJ.com
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11-24-2010, 07:12 PM
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#68
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,856
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah in SC
They lost husbands in their 40s and have been enjoying life quote: "without someone telling them what to do."
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I rarely laugh out loud when reading this board, and even more rarely loud enough to pique my spouse's curiosity from the next room... but the idea of someone at Hale Nords "telling my spouse what to do" is pretty funny.
We've known each other for over 30 years. Three years together at the same college struggling to get through the program, three more years of "distance" juggling schedules to get together before we finally were in a position to get married, and then another 15 years of uniting against shared adversity with Navy careers. Parenting, too. Maybe that sort of pulling in harness keeps things growing strong, or maybe at this point we've become complementary enough that we find it difficult to be without each other...
__________________
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Co-author (with my daughter) of “Raising Your Money-Savvy Family For Next Generation Financial Independence.”
Author of the book written on E-R.org: "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement."
I don't spend much time here— please send a PM.
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11-24-2010, 07:16 PM
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#69
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R
I guess I'm just uninformed, because none of the divorced women I have heard from (anecdotally) in recent years have got a dime of alimony. It's pretty hard to justify in court when you have a solid work record, I would imagine.
Edited to add: Thinking on it, I guess maybe there are some who get alimony but I just don't know any.
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The author might be uniformed, but she presents the loss of alimony as a major problem with remarriage.
And, no, alimony is not gone though it's high time it were. I didn't pay any, but I know guys who do. The length of the marriage can be a big factor. It is usually called spousal support, though perhaps it should be called penance.
Likely if both "partners" had similar earnings histories, it would not be awarded. But statistically that is not the most common situation.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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11-24-2010, 07:35 PM
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#70
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigger
"Many divorce agreements provide for alimony or spouse-support payments, which is separate from child-support payments. Americans gave $9.4 billion to former spouses in 2007, up from $5.6 billion a decade earlier, according to the Internal Revenue Service. Men accounted for 97% of alimony-payers last year, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, although the share of women supporting ex-husbands is on the rise."
The New Art of Alimony - WSJ.com
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Wow. Men, read this and you will be cured forever of romantic love.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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11-24-2010, 08:26 PM
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#71
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,472
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haha
Likely if both "partners" had similar earnings histories, it would not be awarded. But statistically that is not the most common situation.
Ha
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That's probably why I haven't heard of any divorced women that I know, getting alimony. Most are women with advanced degrees and careers, and earning decent salaries.
Quote:
Originally Posted by haha
Wow. Men, read this and you will be cured forever of romantic love.
Ha
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It's awful! Massachusetts divorce rulings look especially bad.
But the way I see it (through my cynical divorcee eyes), marriage is a financial arrangement that is not necessarily required for romantic love. So love all you want - - just don't pull out that diamond ring.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
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11-24-2010, 08:34 PM
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#72
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 13,151
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R
Does alimony even exist any more?.
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Yes
__________________
"I wasn't born blue blood. I was born blue-collar." John Wort Hannam
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11-24-2010, 09:01 PM
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#73
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: SoCal
Posts: 927
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R
You guys just HAVE to be kidding. Does alimony even exist any more? Women are pretty close to half the work force, as I recall. The whole idea seem so antiquated in the 21st century.
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I know a surprising number of single-earner families. DW and I are both engineers, and she currently earns a bit more than I do (though we've traded top-earner status several times over the years). I'm glad that we have this arrangement, as there's absolutely no sense of being anything but equal partners. I don't *think* that would change if one of stopped working tomorrow, but many of the sole-earner guys i know express frustration at being the sole breadwinner.
If we were to separate due to death or divorce, I don't think I would remarry, mostly because I can't imagine finding somebody that I connect with like I do DW. If I were to meet someone that I felt that way for, I wouldn't hesitate to marry her.
__________________
I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.
- Joe Walsh
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11-24-2010, 09:08 PM
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#74
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Calgary
Posts: 805
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haha
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If you live in Canada, I would go even one step further and say that people should even avoid "shacking up" (from a purely financial perspective of course ). I'm not sure what the laws are like in The States, but in Canada, "common law" partnerships enjoy some of the same benefits of married couples. It varies from province to province however so it's a very gray area.
In Alberta for example, a person in a common law relationship (who have been living together for a minimum of 3 years) has the right to spousal support and various estate rights if the couple were to go their separate ways.
__________________
I can only be nice to one person today! Today is not your day...tomorrow doesn't look good either.
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11-24-2010, 09:17 PM
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#75
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Calgary
Posts: 805
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R
You guys just HAVE to be kidding. Does alimony even exist any more? Women are pretty close to half the work force, as I recall. The whole idea seem so antiquated in the 21st century.
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Women may represent half the workforce but they still 1) typically earn less than men for the same amount/quality of work; and 2) have taken time away from their careers to have/raise children.
__________________
I can only be nice to one person today! Today is not your day...tomorrow doesn't look good either.
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11-24-2010, 11:56 PM
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#76
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: midwestern city
Posts: 4,061
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I agree with this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by growing_older
I am very reluctant to put myself in a position to lose half (or more) of what I've built up, and as a successful saver, I'm much more likely to be contributing the majority of assets to any future division of property. I suppose, love conquers all, so if the right person and right situation presents itself, I can never say never.
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__________________
Very conservative with investments. Not ER'd yet, 48 years old. Please do not take anything I write or imply as legal, financial or medical advice directed to you. Contact your own financial advisor, healthcare provider, or attorney for financial, medical and legal advice.
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11-25-2010, 07:59 AM
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#77
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: East Nowhere, 43N Latitude, NY
Posts: 9,037
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Quote:
Originally Posted by obgyn65
I agree with this.
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Make that two in agreement.
Most of you are familiar with my situation, so I will not repeat the details.
No signed bulletproof pre-nup, no getting hitched up to this lady.
I have a valid trust which clearly covers my separate property. I am still single and intend to stay that way. I learned my lesson the easy way.
__________________
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
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11-25-2010, 10:27 AM
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#78
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Alberta/Ontario/ Arizona
Posts: 3,393
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R
You guys just HAVE to be kidding. Does alimony even exist any more? Women are pretty close to half the work force, as I recall. The whole idea seem so antiquated in the 21st century.
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I am paying $250k per year. Alimony certainly exists in Canada. If I die before her my estate continues to pay!
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11-25-2010, 10:51 AM
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#79
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Gone but not forgotten
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 6,924
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R
I asked for (and got) nothing. He got the house, the furniture, the boat, etc. Oh, I did get something - - a junker car on its last legs, and an 8 year old sofa, my books, and my clothes, $1000 in the checking account (and my rent was due).... and my freedom. Definitely a great deal IMO.
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He was GS-12 and I was GS-7. I could not have afforded the house payments.
I forgot: I did get his mother's 10 year old car.
__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
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11-25-2010, 11:02 AM
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#80
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Administrator
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: N. Yorkshire
Posts: 34,050
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ProspectiveBum
If we were to separate due to death or divorce, I don't think I would remarry, mostly because I can't imagine finding somebody that I connect with like I do DW. If I were to meet someone that I felt that way for, I wouldn't hesitate to marry her.
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+1
We've been an "item" since we were 18 (married at 20) and can't imagine re-marrying should anything bad happen. But, one never knows, and if I should connect with someone else like I do with DW I would not rule out marriage.
__________________
Retired in Jan, 2010 at 55, moved to England in May 2016
Enough private pension and SS income to cover all needs
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