Maybe someone could provide wisdom, feedback, slap upside the head, whatever.. or, you'll at least get to say "man, at least that's not my family"
Here's the backdrop for the story. It's convoluted, I know.
Executive summary: Disney World is not the happiest place on earth.
My sister-in-law (SIL) (wife's sister) and brother-in-law (BIL) got married right before he deployed to Iraq for a tour (reserve unit was mobilized). During that time, she decided she didn't want to be married any more. She ended up making out with a co-worker a few times (15 years older than her, married with 2 kids).
Flash forward to January. We had planned a family trip with everyone to Disney World. BIL still wants to go because, well, he had paid for his share and had never been on vacation before (besides, we like him). Before the trip we find out that SIL has conned her mom into signing up for a cell phone so she could sneak it down to Florida.
SIL hides said phone in my father-in-law's room (divorced, he's there with his girlfriend, we'll call her gFIL). gFIL decided to tell us exactly where the phone was.
So, here's my conundrum. I'm stuck in Florida in an odd situation. After weighing the situation, trying to decide what we'd do if BIL was trying to pull this stunt, or what I'd want to know if I was in his shoes, I decided to grab the phone and take it from there. Text messages on the phone pretty much confirmed that making out with said coworker wasn't a one-time offense and there's still something going on. After a very restless night, I pull BIL aside for a nice long walk and bring him up to speed on what I found out.
Turns out, he already knew a lot of it and has been trying to work things out. He wasn't aware of the extent of SIL's involvement with this co-worker, though, and getting to see the text messages really helped him see the light.
I then gave the phone back to FIL to do with as he saw fit.
So, that brings us to the present day. While My FIL and gFIL were the ones telling us how SIL was having an affair at the time, they've since decided that she wasn't. Further, they're upset at us for going through their stuff looking for this phone (even though, since gFIL told me where it was, there wasn't any rummaging going on). FIL is also upset that we're not talking SIL's side in this ("family comes first")... we're actually not taking anyone's side. SIL is upset that we broke her trust (although, there was no trust to break since she never told us anything.. apparently she implicitly trusted us to not tell her husband about her boyfriend). gFIL keeps meddling in the whole thing (she's also now upset that I hung up on her, different story).
Tough, or easy, question of the day. what would you have done at the time and what would you do now?
Here's the backdrop for the story. It's convoluted, I know.
Executive summary: Disney World is not the happiest place on earth.
My sister-in-law (SIL) (wife's sister) and brother-in-law (BIL) got married right before he deployed to Iraq for a tour (reserve unit was mobilized). During that time, she decided she didn't want to be married any more. She ended up making out with a co-worker a few times (15 years older than her, married with 2 kids).
Flash forward to January. We had planned a family trip with everyone to Disney World. BIL still wants to go because, well, he had paid for his share and had never been on vacation before (besides, we like him). Before the trip we find out that SIL has conned her mom into signing up for a cell phone so she could sneak it down to Florida.
SIL hides said phone in my father-in-law's room (divorced, he's there with his girlfriend, we'll call her gFIL). gFIL decided to tell us exactly where the phone was.
So, here's my conundrum. I'm stuck in Florida in an odd situation. After weighing the situation, trying to decide what we'd do if BIL was trying to pull this stunt, or what I'd want to know if I was in his shoes, I decided to grab the phone and take it from there. Text messages on the phone pretty much confirmed that making out with said coworker wasn't a one-time offense and there's still something going on. After a very restless night, I pull BIL aside for a nice long walk and bring him up to speed on what I found out.
Turns out, he already knew a lot of it and has been trying to work things out. He wasn't aware of the extent of SIL's involvement with this co-worker, though, and getting to see the text messages really helped him see the light.
I then gave the phone back to FIL to do with as he saw fit.
So, that brings us to the present day. While My FIL and gFIL were the ones telling us how SIL was having an affair at the time, they've since decided that she wasn't. Further, they're upset at us for going through their stuff looking for this phone (even though, since gFIL told me where it was, there wasn't any rummaging going on). FIL is also upset that we're not talking SIL's side in this ("family comes first")... we're actually not taking anyone's side. SIL is upset that we broke her trust (although, there was no trust to break since she never told us anything.. apparently she implicitly trusted us to not tell her husband about her boyfriend). gFIL keeps meddling in the whole thing (she's also now upset that I hung up on her, different story).
Tough, or easy, question of the day. what would you have done at the time and what would you do now?