... and squashes it.
th, you should probably stop reading now and skip to a different post. No, seriously, I mean it.
OK, I tried to warn you.
Our kid saved months of allowance to buy a personal bedroom phone. Never mind that the cute & parentally-provided push-button Snoopy/Woodstock phone (garage sale, $5) is probably selling on eBay for $50. This purchase had to be scrutinized, agonized, & personalized. $40 (and 40 minutes) later a vTech cordless phone was selected from the display racks.
(For those of you without tweens, a cordless phone empowers you to lose the receiver all over the house instead of in just your bedroom. If you don't understand how anyone could lose a corded receiver, then you don't have a tween.)
It turns out that the reason a new phone is imperative is because it's equipped with-- no, not the latest technology. Not the cleanest signal/noise ratio. Not even long-lived NiMH batteries. No, it has CHANGEABLE COLOR TRIM PIECES!! And RING TONES!!!
As if Madison Ave wasn't already snickering up their sleeves, we were treated to a ring-tone recital. The demo was forcibly terminated after two melodies-- the theme from the movie "Rocky" and "We Will Rock You". Both were played on a sappy little tone generator one generation dumber than Muzak and only slightly better than a kazoo.
Somewhere Freddie Mercury is whirling in his grave over the rancid commercialism of a generational anthem.
The kid has no idea what a Rocky movie is. For her punishment, we're gonna make her watch all of them.
I'm sure things will be better when we're at DisneyWorld... no, wait, I think it's when she's old enough to drive herself on her own dates. Yeah, that's it.
th, you should probably stop reading now and skip to a different post. No, seriously, I mean it.
OK, I tried to warn you.
Our kid saved months of allowance to buy a personal bedroom phone. Never mind that the cute & parentally-provided push-button Snoopy/Woodstock phone (garage sale, $5) is probably selling on eBay for $50. This purchase had to be scrutinized, agonized, & personalized. $40 (and 40 minutes) later a vTech cordless phone was selected from the display racks.
(For those of you without tweens, a cordless phone empowers you to lose the receiver all over the house instead of in just your bedroom. If you don't understand how anyone could lose a corded receiver, then you don't have a tween.)
It turns out that the reason a new phone is imperative is because it's equipped with-- no, not the latest technology. Not the cleanest signal/noise ratio. Not even long-lived NiMH batteries. No, it has CHANGEABLE COLOR TRIM PIECES!! And RING TONES!!!
As if Madison Ave wasn't already snickering up their sleeves, we were treated to a ring-tone recital. The demo was forcibly terminated after two melodies-- the theme from the movie "Rocky" and "We Will Rock You". Both were played on a sappy little tone generator one generation dumber than Muzak and only slightly better than a kazoo.
Somewhere Freddie Mercury is whirling in his grave over the rancid commercialism of a generational anthem.
The kid has no idea what a Rocky movie is. For her punishment, we're gonna make her watch all of them.
I'm sure things will be better when we're at DisneyWorld... no, wait, I think it's when she's old enough to drive herself on her own dates. Yeah, that's it.
