The Stealth and Sabotage Purges - grounds for divorce.

[imoldernu]

Based on the stealth plan, my estimate is 8 to 10 years.

[Teacher Terry]

Throwing away junk like the blinds, old mail such as bills (not personal correspondence), pieces of wood and metal, appliances that break etc is not being disrespectful. It is keeping your home from becoming a garbage dump. I think those that say talk to the person has never lived with someone like this. Most times people have had the conversation ad nauseum. Also many people handle it by giving the person some space to hoard their junk. Most people don't want their entire house like that. My sweet MIL was a terrible hoarder of most things but not garbage. When she died unexpectedly we had to go through her house. Thankfully it was tiny but stuffed to the gills. About 5 years before she died she wanted her bedroom redone. So she went on vacation and asked us to lay a new floor and I asked what colors she liked. She did not trust herself to pick out the floor herself. I decided that at her age she should have a whole new room. First problem was that there was only a path to her bed. We removed everything and threw away the pure junk but nothing personal. Those we put into boxes. A week later when she came home she had a brand new bedroom. She had never had a new lamp, matching sheets/comforter before. The room was immaculate and we had a happy mother's day sign on the bed. My DH has trouble getting rid of stuff too but nowhere like his mom and actually hated growing up in clutter. She was thrilled with her room and kept it neat until the day she died. She eventually asked for help with the rest of the house and we agreed but by then it was too late because she died shortly after asking. Many people can't imagine that people keep pure junk for no reason. Again I don't mean personal items or sentimental items but pure junk. People will keep plastic bags, empty boxes, save containers they have washed out that food came in, etc. That is the kind of stuff I am talking about.

[rayinpenn]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Teacher Terry Throwing away junk like the blinds, old mail such as bills (not personal correspondence), pieces of wood and metal, appliances that break etc is not being disrespectful. It is keeping your home from becoming a garbage dump. I think those that say talk to the person has never lived with someone like this.

Bravo...

[Teacher Terry]

Surprisingly enough at dinner last night my DH says that what I said about his stuff really hit home. I had to ask what that was because I have said plenty through the years) Well recently I told him one reason I had downsized much of my stuff is that I don't want to burden my kids and told him to imagine how his kids will feel when having to go through all that junk like we did with his mom. WE probably still have 40 boxes of his mom's stuff. So he tells me that he had started to go through some of the boxes. So I asked if I could help and he said yes. I told him how to make different piles depending on where the stuff is going, etc. I told him if we actually accomplish this I will help him sort all his tools, screws etc so he can organize the 1 car garage into a workshop which he badly wants to do. So I will see if he can actually stand by his word when I ask him to give me a few boxes to sort. If he has to do it alone he will never get it done. Stay tuned for the next episode)

[Teacher Terry]

It is a beautiful day here and warm so I tell him to get me some boxes and I can start using the outside table. Everything is super dusty from being buried alive for so long. I find his chess set that he uses and has not seen since our last move 5 years ago. To my shock he does and we have been at it for hours. I am putting stuff in boxes that I think he should look at but making initial decisions. `He wants to have a garage sale in the spring and I have sworn off of them but if we end up with enough decent stuff I may do that. For instance all his dad's fishing stuff, all pics, train set, etc all put aside. It really is easy to tell what is junk and what is not. So if your spouse doesn't like to purge there is still hope. I did not honestly ever think I would see this day)