Ticklish ring question

[ivinsfan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by calmloki My Mom's log house burned to the ground. Most everything inside was destroyed and not to be found after. In many ways a very easy solution to dilemmas like this one. Unexpected blessings.

Doesn't sound like a blessing..

Burned to the ground or family emotional baggage to deal with...decisions decisions

[Sue J]

No advice to the OP but I am one who was given an heirloom engagement ring. DH's grandmother gave him her engagement ring for me. The history is that the diamond was in another setting when DHs grandfather married his first wife. Tragically, she died soon after giving birth.

When he got engaged to DHs grandmother in 1925 they reused the center diamond in a new setting that she picked out. DH's grandmother offered me both settings and I loved the one that was her choice for her ring. This ring is an Edwardian style with a very thin, plain wedding band with flat sides that nests next to the ring. Grandmother was still wearing the wedding band until she died. We were able to find a similar flat sided plain wedding band for me.

Over the years this ring has had a few dings and a tiny side diamond fell out and had to be remounted. Also, I had the main diamond setting repronged a few years ago because things just wear down.

I cherish this ring because of it's genuine beauty and uniqueness but also because of the loving family history.

When our younger son was flying away to Beijing to marry his girlfriend he bought her an engagement ring and wedding band. But they had no plans for a ring for him. My Dad had died the year before and my sister had my Dad's plain gold wedding band. We both agreed that if my son would like to have that for his wedding band we would be thrilled to give it to him. Yes, he wanted it!

Good feelings all around for those of us with inherited engagement rings and wedding bands.

[SecondCor521]

^ Thanks, Sue J.

That's sort of the story that my Mom, I'm sure, had in mind for me, and I would have in mind for the ring, wherever it ends up. My older sister, for example, is wearing our paternal grandmother's ring. My sister has my parent's crystal glassware. Etc.

I just can't guarantee it, and my personality is one of liking to guarantee things and getting a bit sideways when or if I can't.

Ah, well, there's my favorite philosopher, Mick Jagger, to listen to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv9sDn_2XkI

[meleana]

I gave my mothers to my 26 year old niece/ godchild as a Christmas gift and she had it resized and refurbished and it looks awesome. She wears it now. She’s single.

My only child is 32, a male and unmarried and no girlfriend currently.

I would give it as a gift to whom you want to and let it end there. A gift is a gift. You don’t ask for gifts back.

[piccolopat]

Why not have the diamonds and emerald mounted in a ring for you to wear? Then you can designate who gets it in your will and they can choose to wear it or remount it at that time.

[SecondCor521]

Quote:

Originally Posted by piccolopat Why not have the diamonds and emerald mounted in a ring for you to wear? Then you can designate who gets it in your will and they can choose to wear it or remount it at that time.

Partly because I don't wear jewelry.

Partly because of the implied strings my Mom attached, which, see above, I've figured out isn't healthy and I'm working through.

Good thought, though. Might work for someone else in a similar situation.

[Ctarborist]

Not ticklish at all. Stay out of it.

[SpinDoctorTX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by athena53 Is he thinking of using it as an engagement ring? One practical consideration is that emeralds are pretty delicate and can chip or break. I love jewelry but wouldn't want an emerald in a ring I was going to wear every day.

I have an emerald in my engagement ring, and it has lasted longer than any of my other stones (I am super clumsy and have cracked onyx, opals, aquamarines, etc...). It came with a small flaw in the stone, which I thought made it perfect for my second marriage & DH's 4th- back in 2002- there is no such thing as a perfect marriage IMO. I also don't support the diamond industry and had an aquamarine in my first engagement ring. DH thought he'd won the marital jackpot as he'd always had to spring for some ridiculously costly engagement rings for wife #s 1-3. It I ever beat the stone up for the last time, I can replace the emerald at a fairly low cost- as low as fifty bucks!

Since I buy from local sources usually, to keep the $ in our local economy, I would be supporting my fellow local jewelry and gem shops. The quality is usually better. I would probably pay around 150-200. I just found this one on AMZ- https://smile.amazon.com/0-78-0-98-C...apparel&sr=1-4

[ivinsfan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SecondCor521 Partly because I don't wear jewelry. Partly because of the implied strings my Mom attached, which, see above, I've figured out isn't healthy and I'm working through. Good thought, though. Might work for someone else in a similar situation.

Obviously I don't know the details, is it possible your Mom was just trying to split items between her children and just thought I'll give this SecondCor in case he gets a new lady in his life. Then if you didn't do that, it could always go to your only DD. Mom might had thought just saying give it to DG might make the other GKs wonder why they got nothing?

Families just about always come with strings of some type, but not all strings are bad..

[Souschef]

We solved the ring question in a creative way. We were both widowed, and had jewelry give to us by our late spouses.
DW contributed her engagement ring, and I contributed my heavy gold bracelet.
The result was a beautiful pendant. Engraved on the back was "Prov 32:10"
"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies"


We saw a similar pendant on Kauai, but it had a 1/4 carat diamond. DW's pendant stone is 2.5 carats

[SecondCor521]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ivinsfan Obviously I don't know the details, is it possible your Mom was just trying to split items between her children and just thought I'll give this SecondCor in case he gets a new lady in his life. Then if you didn't do that, it could always go to your only DD. Mom might had thought just saying give it to DG might make the other GKs wonder why they got nothing? Families just about always come with strings of some type, but not all strings are bad..

Without going into all the details, no, it isn't really possible.

I was divorced in 2006 and my Mom died in 2016. She and my Dad were pretty constantly, while trying to be and appear respectful of my opinion on the matter, clearly hoping and preferring that I would find someone special. More or less they had a happy and successful marriage, they never really approved of my ex, and wanted me to have what they had. And of course they thought that I was smart, good looking, and an overall catch, as all parents do.

The jewelry was distributed round-robin to us three kids, so my sisters got to choose other pieces. My parents general plan is to split things evenly across their three kids, then we three kids can do what we want vis-a-vis our kids.

According to my older sister, either during or before the round-robin event, my older sister was interested in this ring and was thinking about making it her choice during one of the rounds. My Mom apparently shooed her away from it and told her it was reserved for me. I didn't hear that conversation, and it's a little surprising as my parents always were about fair/equal, but I'm not totally surprised given my Mom's opinion about my potential remarriage.

As far as DGs, my sister also has a daughter, so the ring could have gone to her by that logic. Beyond those two, there's 7 grandsons. I explained upthread about my views that the ring could go to any of the 9 grandkids without favor, but my Mom, as a creature of her age, was probably of the opinion that it should go to a woman.

I totally get and understand and accept my parents motivations. I just disagreed about whether I want to find someone special (that's a whole 'nother topic) and am more inclined to respectfully ignore my Mom's preferences in the matter.

[ivinsfan]

Second Cor..every family had a back story and we all need to do what we need to do..