Time to let a friend go.

[cyber888]

Sounds like a potential sociopath with the knife throw .. ditch the guy! he could kill

 

[MooreBonds]

Sounds like a potential sociopath with the knife throw .. ditch the guy! he could kill

I had a different impression: he's a type of bully/dominant type of guy that wants to get his way, and he sees someone (the OP) who is definitely on the submissive side. (note: I'm talking in a general sense of 'power balance', not in a sexual sense)

Consider the knife-throwing incident: a guy who is 100% sober says "this knife is dirty", then throws the knife across the room into a sink, where the homeowner is standing. The homeowner's reaction: "Do you need a sharper knife?" No disrespect to the OP, but this is not a healthy response to someone throwing a knife at you, and potentially hurting you, and/or damaging your property. IMO, the guy was simply asserting his dominance in subtle ways - because look at what happened next: the knife thrower tells the homeowner to "get away from me" and "go in the other room".

Which she then does, as he orders her to.

The OP allowed someone to throw a knife at them across a room, then reacts in a calm, nonchalant manner, and then follows orders from the knife thrower on what to do in her own house. The guy is doing this because he likes to exert his dominance. And he gets away with it.

Same with the multiple comments of "He has let it be known if my husband was gone he is interested." Who says that MULTIPLE TIMES to someone that is 'happily married' - and who is also a friend? That takes quite a bit of arrogance/disrespect to say that multiple times to someone who is married. Unless they are trying to plant thoughts and seeds in someone's mind that they know they can boss around (see above example).

Also, I'm willing to bet that if you heard your husband say multiple times to your best friend "hey, if Teacher Terry weren't around, I'm interested in you," it would not sit too well with you.

It's good to see you severing ties with this guy - just some thoughts to reflect on and be aware of in how you interact with others. I used to be in an unhealthy submissive role in a few bad relationships, but as my life improved and I became more aware of it, I was able to correct it and enjoy more healthy boundaries in my relationships and interactions with others.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Moore, yes it’s time for me to think deeply about this. My husband asked tonight if he could text him telling him to stay away and why. He said he was always slightly concerned about losing me to him. But because my ex was so controlling and abusive he didn’t want to be like him. I realize I have PTSD from a 22 year marriage plus was raised to be submissive and going against rules/parents didn’t end well. Once when I was home alone with a baby and young someone tried to break into the apartment and I was frozen and couldn’t move. I didn’t run or call the police. Thankfully they didn’t get in. Yes I suck in a crisis.

 

[samclem]

My husband asked tonight if he could text him telling him to stay away and why.

I'm probably hopelessly out of date, but I wouldn't choose to text someone as a means of communicating information like this. And I don't think going into any specifics on the "why" will be very productive. " Just my two cents.

 

[NanaW]

I wouldn’t contact him at all, you let him know how you feel and defriended him on Facebook I’m sure he got the message, if you haven’t heard from him leave it be. If he contacts you again let your husband say something to him then. You know the saying let sleeping dogs lie Good luck I hope he stays put.

 

[rayinpenn]

IMHO he would never set foot in my house... there something about letting you know he was interested that is snaky imho

 

[allegra3201]

Yep

The relationship would have been over that night for me. If this is what he is doing with your husband still around....... This guy has issues.

Agree 100%!

 

[klscaz]

Cant answer the question, he would have been out the door within a minute of throwing anything, even if it was not hazardous.
Some people have issues, including drugs and alcohol. Doesn't mean you have to be part of their problem.

Agree. Also, he would have been done just for telling me to exit my own kitchen! I'm surprised that your husband did not kick him out.

 

[Teacher Terry]

My husband was in his office and had no clue what happened until he left. I have unfriended him on Facebook but didn’t tell him not to contact me. We are letting things lie and if he contacts me I will let my husband handle it. He may not notice I unfriended him on Facebook.

 

[Teacher Terry]

He texted me today apparently clueless. My best friend suggested that I be direct and tell him why. He apologized in a text and voicemail. I texted the friendship is over and he said that’s sad. Hopefully, that’s the end of it.

 

[ivinsfan]

He texted me today apparently clueless. My best friend suggested that I be direct and tell him why. He apologized in a text and voicemail. I texted the friendship is over and he said that’s sad. Hopefully, that’s the end of it.

You can make it over on your end by not engaging in any texts or calls period. He knows,he acknowledged he knows. Your job is done.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Yes I didn’t respond when he said it’s sad and I don’t intend to.

 

[Jeffman52]

Just don't fall off the wagon and end up back in communication. My DD had a bad boyfriend when she was 17. When they broke up she blocked him on FB and stopped communicating with him. A few months later she is texting with him again.... I looked her right in the eye and said... Dont think he has changed. If you like being controlled and abused then you area heading right for it.

Unknown to her, I went to his house and told him that if he contacted my DD in any way ever again..... (deleted all that). After that there were no more issues with him. She is now 28 and married to a great guy!

 

[Teacher Terry]

Jeff, it takes me a long time to end a friendship so when I do it’s permanent. I never change my mind.