Too Much Conversation

[TromboneAl]

Lena's Swedish cousin and his Singaporean wife were here for the Thanksgiving weekend. He writes computer software for trading billions in currency -- software that has to make buying decisions in a limited number of microseconds. He speaks English better than 99% of Americans although he has a strong accent and still pronounces J like Y ("Yust Yenerate more cash.").

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We had a great time, and enjoyed them both, but probably spent about 30 hours just talking. Talking during meals, talking after dinner, talking on hikes, talking in the car.

It was just too much time listening and thinking of things to say. I'll bet there were times when everyone wanted to do something else, but there was no way to bring that up.

In the future, I've got to find a way to say "OK, now let's everyone read a book or watch a movie or surf the Internet for a change."

 

[braumeister]

"That's really interesting. I think I'll go to the computer now and do some research on that."

 

[LOL!]

You need more guests. That way, all you have to do is excuse yourself while the conversation continues. Just don't be the last person to excuse yourself.

What do they think of having their photo posted on the web?

 

[old.snake]

It was just too much time listening and thinking of things to say. I'll bet there were times when everyone wanted to do something else, but there was no way to bring that up.

In the future, I've got to find a way to say "OK, now let's everyone read a book or watch a movie or surf the Internet for a change."

"Screw you guys, I'm going home."

 

[ERD50]

If guests are going to be there for days, and you think this might become a 'trap', you just have to schedule some optional 'down time' in there. Just say 'hey, maybe you guys would like to visit nearby x,y,z park, museum, etc - we have some shopping to do, or some boring tasks around the house, or whatever, so it'll give you a chance to get out and see the area'.

-ERD50

 

[veremchuka]

i hear ya! after just a few hours being around people all the talking just wears me out. i literally have to go home to unwind and relax. needless to say i'm not gregarious!

 

[jazz4cash]

Not a problem if you invite the right people over to "share" the conversation next time.....
http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f27/some-people-talk-too-much-52056.html

 

[Nords]

It was just too much time listening and thinking of things to say. I'll bet there were times when everyone wanted to do something else, but there was no way to bring that up.

"So, who wants to help me clean up the kitchen?"

 

[TromboneAl]

"So, who wants to help me clean up the kitchen?"

Funny you mention that. I did the dinner cleanup on Thursday and Friday, and it was a good break. The kitchen never looked so clean.

 

[GregLee]

He speaks English better than 99% of Americans although he has a strong accent and still pronounces J like Y ...

Who are the 1% of Americans that speak English as well as he? The ones who can say J right? Lots can do that -- practically all Americans, actually.

 

[W2R]

Who are the 1% of Americans that speak English as well as he? The ones who can say J right? Lots can do that -- practically all Americans, actually.

Some people can pronounce the letter J, but do not speak English very well (as in, grammatical, correct English).

 

[W2R]

It was just too much time listening and thinking of things to say.

I feel that way at most parties. It's hard to discuss anything one-on-one, because there are too many people. So, a lot of the talk tends to be pretty boring, IMO.

At times like that, it would be nice to get away from everyone and go for a walk.

 

[TomG]

It was just too much time listening and thinking of things to say

Why did you have to devote any effort to thinking of something to say. Just sit quietly and listen for a few minutes. Likely there is going to be a break in the talk. If they are really that talkative, just announce "I am going to (fill in the blank ... read the newspaper, make a phone call, change the oil, paint the house. . . ). Offer them something else. Shouldn't be too hard, newspaper, snack, TV, computer

 

[haha]

jJst serve more booze, more often, in larger glasses.

 

[rescueme]

Assuming he's living in Sweden, ask him how he likes the sunlight at this time of year, at your place ...

Note: I spent a lot of winter (and summer) month's in southern Sweden during my wo*king years. It certainly was depressing.

The flip side was when the gulls would wake me up at 3 AM in the summer months, where daylight was to the other extreme....

 

[Purron]

If guests are going to be there for days, and you think this might become a 'trap', you just have to schedule some optional 'down time' in there. Just say 'hey, maybe you guys would like to visit nearby x,y,z park, museum, etc - we have some shopping to do, or some boring tasks around the house, or whatever, so it'll give you a chance to get out and see the area'.

-ERD50

Good idea. With a visit lasting a few days or more, it's good for everyone to have some down time. It's better if the tasks are personal in nature, otheriwise they might want to tag along on a general shopping trip or offer to help with the household tasks.

"We need to go to the bank to take care of some things. Would you like to hang out here while we're gone? If you're in the mood to go out, maybe you'd like to check out the park/museum, etc. while we're getting our banking done."

 

[FUEGO]

Sounds like you need rules of engagement for social engagements.

Maybe you should have shown them the zen meditation wood shed where you chop wood in absolute silence for a couple hours.

 

[TromboneAl]

Why did you have to devote any effort to thinking of something to say?

Because I find awkward pauses, well, awkward.

YouTube - Craig Ferguson Awkward Pauses - Latest Version

 

[calmloki]

One of FIL's best: "Honey, let's go to bed and get some sleep so these nice people can go home".

 

[TomG]

Because I find awkward pauses, well, awkward

It sounds like you did the perfect job of avoiding any pauses. Whether they are awkward or not is entirely based on how you interpret them. The balance I like has more quiet than noise and am perfectly comfortable with the no-talking parts. If that doesn't describe you, you would be seeking out ways to have this much conversation the other 360 days

 

[vicente solano]

Asking the visitors if they want to stay for dinner has always worked for me: there´s a sudden rush for the coats and purses. Unless the visitors have come from far away (more than 50 km)

 

[HFWR]

Going completely against what my mom would say, talk with your mouth full. Maybe spit some mashed potatoes on them. Accidentally, of course...

 

[Bestwifeever]

We have family members whose native languages are not English and sometimes the conversations are tiring, mostly for them of course but also for the listeners--it's like there's another level your brain has to go through to adjust to the phrasing and accent, and to speak clearly and consciously in response and to choose your words so they're easily understood. I think they like us anyway.

We try to follow the 3-day rule for visiting and fish.