Unusual Police Reports

[Danny]

Recent Police Reports In My Neighborhood

INDECENT EXPOSURE
June 29, 2:35 a.m., 3900 block of Lancaster Lane; victim reports she was in her vehicle when a naked male came up to her and asked if she had a baseball. Police arrived and observed a naked male going into an apartment. When questioned, suspect told police he was at a party and was told he could only have a beer if he danced naked in the parking lot and asked a lady in a car for a baseball. Suspect cited.

MISC.:
June 1, 3:05 p.m., 700 block of County Road 11; report of sick-looking cow near roadway. The owner said that the vet is treating the cow because it ate twine and became ill.

June 20, unknown time, Highway 7; caller reported several baby ducks were attempting to cross the highway. Officer escorted the ducks across the highway and, according to the report, issued a verbal warning to the mother for not crossing at the traffic light.

July 14, unknown time, Highway 7; an officer observed a van with the front passenger door open and the passenger's legs hanging outside of the vehicle. Officer stopped the van and found the passenger to be very intoxicated, and he was being driven home by a sober individual. The passenger was advised to stay in the van.

July 15, unknown time and location; caller advised that sometime during the night someone had trimmed his lilac bushes. The caller requested additional patrol.

FLEEING A PEACE OFFICER:
June 30, 1:56 a.m., LRT bike trail; officers observed a bicycle with no lights and when they attempted to make contact with the male he started pedaling faster. When officers activated their emergency lights, he appeared to pedal even faster. The siren was then activated and the suspect dumped the bicycle and took off running. The 35-year-old Loretto man was located in a wooded area. He stated he had no reason for running and he was "just being stupid."


Remember any good ones in your neighborhood?

[Achiever51]

Not MY neighborhood, but this one even had the anchors on CNN laughing: (Now is this any way to treat the guy who said he, too, was Anna Nicole's baby's daddy??)

Zsa Zsa's Hubby: 'I Was Robbed at Gunpoint'

Zsa Zsa's Hubby: 'I Was Robbed at Gunpoint'
PRINCE FREDERIC VON ANHALT tells ET he was robbed Thursday morning by three gun-toting women on a Los Angeles street.

Driving down Bellagio Road off Sunset Boulevard, Von Anhalt says after he pulled off the road he was robbed at gunpoint by three women.

In new details from the LAPD, according to Von Anhalt, he was driving when three women in another vehicle got his attention, saying they were fans of his. The women asked him to pull over and pose for photos with them. Once he stopped and was out of the car, he claims one of the women pulled a gun on him and demanded he take off his clothing and turn over his personal property.

The police report that the three females were white and between 25-30. They also report that the woman who pulled the gun was around 5' 1", and that the other two women were between 5' 3" and 5' 4".

The police tell ET they received a call at 10:15 a.m. Von Anhalt was not physically injured during the robbery.

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanTien July 15, unknown time and location; caller advised that sometime during the night someone had trimmed his lilac bushes. The caller requested additional patrol.

Thats not so unusual. If one of the people in my neighborhood lets something grow way out into the sidewalk, next time I take the dogs for a walk I bring a lopper. It gets taken care of.

[Achiever51]

Quote:

Originally Posted by cute fuzzy bunny Thats not so unusual. If one of the people in my neighborhood lets something grow way out into the sidewalk, next time I take the dogs for a walk I bring a lopper. It gets taken care of.

I believe the term for this is vigilante landscaping...

[cute fuzzy bunny]

"If the police landscapers don't defend us, maybe we ought to do it ourselves"

[Achiever51]

Oh, oh, aren't you the guy with the ginormous weed wacker? To the mattresses!

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Yeah, but its a little loud for some nice after dark pruning.

About all I could hope for was that the roar would drown out the 911 call.

[Danny]

The duck one is my favorite, something we see a lot of with cars in both directions waiting for the line of geese or ducks to waddle across....I've talked to geese and told them they should cross faster and they're stupid to send their kids into a busy road,etc..once got out of the car to pickup a good sized turtle and walked him across..

[cute fuzzy bunny]

"Chinese police have seized more than a tonne of fake drugs for impotence, bird flu and malaria, including at least 18,000 fake Viagra tablets, state media reported Wednesday."

In other news, it appears that Chinese police are about to get a lot harder on crime, make sure offenders get hard time, yada yada yada...

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanTien July 15, unknown time and location; caller advised that sometime during the night someone had trimmed his lilac bushes. The caller requested additional patrol.

I hope they find the miscreant and send him over to my place. We have several unruly & belligerent shrubs flagrantly violating the landscaping standards.

[Brat]

Our local paper includes a police blotter which is typically filled with drunk driving arrests, family disputes. The funniest report was when one of the nursing homes called the police alleging a sexual assault by one of the residents upon another. When they interviewed the parties involved they concluded that the activity was consensual.

[Meadbh]

In my neighbourhood a few years ago there was a pillar of the community type lady who was an avid gardener. She reported to the police that somebody seemed to be stealing her flowers overnight. On investigation, it turned out that an enterprising heroin addict had oversown her well tended red poppy beds with opium poppies. She was doing the tending, and he was doing the harvesting! She was mortified..... but at least no charges were laid. Headlines included "Bumper Drug Crop in [name of neighbourhood]" and "Gardening Granny Grows Heroin".

[ladelfina]

Just a few weeks ago the bank in the next town over (also a small town like ours) got robbed by a guy armed with a rolling pin.

He got €17,000.

I heard through the grapevine he wasn't wearing a mask, that one of the tellers (male) fainted, and that immediately after the robbery, he got into a car driven by some accomplice and they then went to the town mechanic to get the car muffler fixed.

They did arrest him after police IDed him from the bank video.

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Quote:

"FARGO, N.D. - A man was arrested on sex charges after an early morning escapade while wearing a kilt. Police say Nathan Blair, 24, of Moorhead, Minn., was wearing a black kilt when he exposed himself to motorists near a busy street and had sex with a woman in the backyard of a house. "In 17 years in this job I've seen a lot of different things. This is a new one," Fargo Police Lt. Pat Claus said Friday. Claus said Blair and a 20-year-old woman were arrested about 3:30 a.m. Friday after police found them having sex behind a home. The couple first ignored orders to "cease and desist," and then refused to cover up, Claus said. Both of them had been drinking, Claus said."

Ya think?

[Nords]

"Police kill pit bull in Bryan". "University police fatally shot a pit bull after the animal threatened a family at a park and then did the same to a dog owner at a Bryan home less than a mile away."

Considering the headline I was relieved to learn that this particular Bryan is a neighborhood. I sure hope "the animal" of the topic sentence is the subject of all those action verbs (and not the university police)-- it's hard to tell when the police stopped shooting.

BTW the karate-kicking Russ Graves mentioned in the article is a retired USAF officer who surveyed military retirees for his doctoral thesis. His data showed that 85% of retiring officers immediately start up a second career.

[Martha]

Nords, have you tracked down many of the other 15% yet?

[Danny]

More From The Neighborhood:

Misc.:
July 18, 12:43 p.m. Neighborhood dispute escalated after suspect began writing derogatory comments about victim in chalk on driveway...

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martha Nords, have you tracked down many of the other 15% yet?

I think they've all joined this board.

The survey responses came from volunteers who may have been telling the truth. The 15% may have been back to school or still seeking employment or taking care of their families instead of surfing-- I don't think he posted what the non-working respondents were doing.

But it certainly showed the mindset of the military retiree that fewer than 15% even considered the idea of being paid not to work.

I'll have to ask him for an update.

I've heard from a couple shipmates who read the Fortune article, and the Notre Dame NROTC officer recognized me...