Wedding Sticker Shock

[mathjak107]

BECAUSE THEY ARE KIDS!....yes they have the money as my step son is partners in a very lucrative llc with my wife but still to me its such a waste...i cant see dough like that for a party..my wife and i married last year and had a really nice affair done as a brunch and it costs us maybe 7-8,000 ....the bad part is my wife and i will probley have to kick in 15-20,000 as our share

[cabbage]

Dh and I were married in 1974 and our entire wedding (including atire) cost $700. All the studda bubbas in the family cooked up fried chicken, sauerkraut and kielbasa, and stuffed cabbage. Reception was held in the community room of my SIL's apartment complex. We played records and rumor has it there was some green leafy substance being passed around in the parking lot. We borrowed the tables from the high school cafeteria where my husband taught math and they even came with four letter profanities carved in the tops. My wedding/engagement ring cost $139 at Best Buy and his was $50 at U.S. Merchandise. Still married after after 31 years. But we both got chubby and the rings don't fit.

[John Tuttle]

My wife (bless her soul) didn't want the hassle or waste of money of a large wedding so we were married in my parent's living room in the company of our families. She made her wedding dress and I had a suit my mother had given me for graduation. Her uncle, an ordained minister, married us for free. (We forgot to take the phone off the hook and someone called right in the middle of the ceremony. ) We all went to the home of two of my maiden aunts who prepared a good sit down dinner. Have no idea what it cost, but it couldn't have been much. Whatever it was, we've been married for 36 years so the ROI was pretty good.

[justin]

Got married two years ago. Legal marriage at county Magistrate's office and formal Buddhist ceremony same day at SIL's house. Total cost including rings, clothes, a trunk full of beer and cognac, a cow, a pig, all the fixins, and some more gold jewelry - $1000-$1500. The honeymoon was more than that - ~$1800, paid by my parents as a wedding/graduation gift (and a "OMG thank god you didn't guilt us into paying $25,000 for a big hoodoo wedding").

I would have been happy with the magistrate's wedding, but you gotta keep the wife happy...

[Zipper]

1969 05 03........ 3rd of may 1969 for Americans.

It was a very good year! Mrs. Zipper was 20 and I was 25.

Total for everything would have been under $1000. Rings included.

Mrs. Zipper made her wedding dress.

No real honeymoon because I had to be back in class on Monday.

It was the best decision of my life.

Good stories -- a lot like ours.

I went in to work in the morning:

"Hey, how come you're dressed up?"
"I'm getting married this afternoon."

Took off at lunch and went in to the San Francisco courthouse. *Had to borrow someone else's witness. *After the I do's we drove down to Big Sur and camped for the weekend.

One year later we did it again with a traditional ceremony and reception in Sweden. *I barely understood the priest, and gave a speech in Swedish at the reception. *That was a big hit because I made so many funny mistakes.

[VoyT]

* *I think ours was around $3,000. We rented a historic house, had the ceremony in the ballroom upstairs, and the reception on the main floor.
* * A local restaurant catered (we wanted cocktail-party type food); local supermarket's bakery did the cake and its florist did the flowers. A friend took the photos. We hired a guy to play piano. (fortunately, the piano came with the house.)
* * I think my dress cost about $100. I liked the style, but it was kind of plain; my mom found some beadwork at a craft store, and the woman doing the alterations sewed it on for a small fee. DH rented a tux and picked up the rental cost for his best man's tux.
* I called my best friend and said, here are the colors we're using for the flowers, etc.* I trust your judgement, buy something you can wear later.*
* * * 13 years so far ...

[Gpax7]

We're not churchgoers so ours was in the backyard at home. Lived with DW for 6 1/2 years We probably spent about $2K or so but for food and drink for the 50 or so guests. Had a JP (I don't remember who) . Wish I'd found DW 38 years ago.
Expensive weddings are usually for the bride's mother. (Please don't throw rocks at me!) DS's wife had to be married in the same church as X number of previous generations of her family but DS and his bride paid for it. $10K on the ring alone but he's been doing $100K for 3 years now.
SS dated a girl 10 years, parents spent a total of $25K on the wedding and 6 months later they were separated. A year later divcorced. Turned out she was a member of the Ellen DeGeneres/Rosie O'Donnel fan club.

[Brat]

$3,000 37 years ago.* Big church, reception at the Garden Club.

Daughter wanted the a big affair, husband and I paid what we considered a reasonable sum... she paid the rest.* Big church, dinner at a very nice SJ hotel for everyone invited to the wedding (100s)- added up to big numbers.* The funny that week is that she put the wedding dinner on her Visa, it was pre-approved and went through.* We spent more than a dime at Nordstrom's with last minute shopping.* The day before the wedding someone flitched her account number and charged at a discout store.* VISA fraud folks were calling within the hour.* THEY had her shopping habits nailed!!!

[audreyh1]

I am so SHOCKED by how much people spend on weddings.* And people go into debt for them!* What a tough way financially to start a marriage.

In fact, I remember a TV program a while back that talked to several people who got divorced before they had paid off their wedding debt, and the financial stress of the wedding debt was part of what lead to divorce!!!

We announced to our family to come to my house in 2 weeks - we were going to get married.* It happened to be April 1 when we called, so my brother first had to make sure it wasn't an April fools joke - LOL!

We had a JP come by the house to perform the ceremony.* I made a few hors d'ouvres and some champagne for an initial "reception".* Just immediate family attended, and we took everyone out to dinner afterwards.* At dinner we served a cake (just a single layer!) that we had ordered from our local bakery.* It was great!* I simplified things considerably by not mentioning to anyone at work that we had gotten married until after the fact.

It was a breeze!* And very inexpensive.* Biggest cost - 2 gold wedding bands.

Been 15 years of very happy marriage so far!

Audrey

[audreyh1]

Wow - interesting how many folks here got married on the cheap! True LBYMs!! Must be related to being able to retire early!

Audrey

[audreyh1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by cj Whoops, I did forget about the cost of the wedding rings.* We got married in 1980.* Anyone remember the price of gold back then??* *:P* About what it is now.* I think we paid upwards of $600 for a couple of fairly plain wedding bands.* And the price went up signigicantly in just the few weeks it took us to decide which ones we wanted. CJ

We got married in 1981. I think we paid around $500 for our two plain gold wedding bands.

Audrey

[dusk_to_dawn]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nords Under $1500, not counting prescription pharmaceuticals.

Viagra??

[trharris]

DH and I were married 10 years ago (going on 11 now), we had the wedding in my sister and BIL's back yard and had a family friend, who is a judge, perform the ceremony. Family members brought some special dishes, we had a keg and some wine and a single layer wedding cake. I had a simple dress and nieces and nephews - all under 10 were our wedding party. WE had some hors d'oevres deliverd by a local grocery store and they ran over my sister's mail box when they were delivering it, so ended up giving us all of the food free. We were definitely under $1000 for the whole deal even with our rings.

The wedding was not a big deal for us. I can't imagine spending so much money on a one day thing.

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dusk_to_dawn Viagra??

It was a stressful week in many ways, but luckily we found plenty of other ways to relieve the stress...

[Eagle43]

It was 41 years ago, yesterday. Total cost under $300. I don't remember exact costs, but I can tell you neither family had much loot. Talk about return on your investment.

Since yesterday was our anniversary, we went to Japanese Palace (her choice) and spent $100. One-third of the original wedding cost, in inflated dollars, of course.

[Brat]

No debt on my side either, the bride and groom assured me that they had more than adequate resources.*

I think weddings need to be considered in context to culture.* When I worked in NYC I was stunned to see huge expenditures on family benchmark events for middle income families.* On the NW coast traditional native groups still hold potlatches (and no, these are NOT pot lucks).* My daughter married into a culture where weddings are big family affairs, and they have lots of family in the community.* That family network supports its members with a lot of time and energy.* Individually they have life's ups and downs but they don't have to deal with it alone - 'stand by you' is their theme song.* It was she and her husband's way of honoring their commitment to the marriage and their support through the groom’s Hodgkin's.*

It was a celebration of life.*

[yelnad]

DH and I married 3.5 years ago for about $1500. We invited only immediate family. We were married in a historic mansion by a JP and we paid for our parents to spend the night there (also a b&b). We all went to dinner after. We had a photographer at cost (friend of mom's). DH wore his suit and I wore the dress from my first wedding (Mom made it). My sister got a new dress to be the maid of honor (we paid for that, she was only 20).

My practice wedding in '97 cost about $7000. Dad paid for the first $5000 and we paid the rest. My sister is getting married in June and it will cost about $7000, also. Dad is paying it all. He offered both of us the cash if we would skip the festivities. Mom is the minister and it's being held at her farmhouse.

The front page story in today's paper is about weddings. The average wedding in this county this year costs about $27,000. Wow. I don't think I could spend that much if I tried.

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eagle43 It was 41 years ago, yesterday. *Total cost under $300. * Since yesterday was our anniversary, we went to Japanese Palace (her choice) and spent $100. *One-third of the original wedding cost, in inflated dollars, of course. *

Congrats, Eagle! *According to the CPI calculator you still have $1828.57 to go...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brat I think weddings need to be considered in context to culture.* When I worked in NYC I was stunned to see huge expenditures on family benchmark events for middle income families.* On the NW coast traditional native groups still hold potlatches (and no, these are NOT pot lucks).* My daughter married into a culture where weddings are big family affairs, and they have lots of family in the community.* That family network supports its members with a lot of time and energy. It was a celebration of life.*

Just as long as it's time & energy celebrating that life and not big bucketfuls of money. *I've seen family reunions celebrated aboard cruise ships, for gosh sakes, and these people were not getting the kama'aina last-minute fares.

I think weddings need to be considered in context to the typical financial decision-- do we have a heckuva party that everyone talks about (and pays for) for years, or do we invest our money in our social infrastructure? *There's nothing wrong with the care & consideration behind a potluck, and it means more to me than anything coming out of a caterer's truck.

I'd rather have $1000 toward a house downpayment or furnishings than a big bash, especially if there's even the most remote chance of the happy couple someday "needing" to return to the parental nest to "save a little money for housing expenses". *

And I'd much rather have a family caretaker fund than to support the college costs of a whole platoon of professional party planners.

Back in the late '80s we were invited to a Navy family wedding. *Both were the third generation in their military families, although she wasn't in the service. *The beeswax used in the church would have filled a 55-gallon drum. *The bride's dress cost more than my Navy uniform issue and was probably competitive with my entire lifetime clothing expenses. *The reception... I have no idea, but it was at the Pebble Beach Golf Course clubhouse. *My first and only sojourn there.

As we sat gazing at Monterey Bay over the 18th green, watching the sea otters forage & play, I felt a huge sense of dislocation. *Who lives like this? *More importantly, was I living the wrong life?!? *We listened to the best man toast the happy couple with a paean (polemic?) to the difficulties faced by the Navy wife/daughter while the manly man was out fighting the Cold War. *It went on and on and on... I couldn't help thinking how much the whole affair cost and how much their "suffering" could have been eased by putting the expenses in a good mutual fund for their kids' college expenses. *

I'm pretty sure that they're still married, although I haven't checked. *And I'm sure their fourth-generation kids are happily applying to military academies, so perhaps that wedding money wasn't needed for college funds. *But that's not the point-- I just can't help seeing celebrations of this style and scale as a colossal waste of resources that could have been better applied to building a life.

[peggy]

Well, for just the wedding, it was $46.00.

$20 - license fee.
$20 - gratuity to the judge.
$6 - two certified copies of the marriage certificate.

The rings were heirlooms, and we were married in sweaters and jeans.

We had a reception at the house the following month, and the cost for that was about $250 (food, champagne, beer, sodas).