What To Share with Executors/Successor Trustees (Well) In Advance?

[Midpack]

So we have the trust in place, and our 1st and 2nd executors know our basic wishes, where ALL the info is (comprehensive docs all in one binder - earlier thread), and how to get at it. Is there anything else they need now, when we expect to live another 25 years plus/minus? Medical POA probably, but I can’t think of anything else.

This is a smart crowd, thought it get second opinions...

 

[rk911]

we put the trust on thumb drives and gave one to each successor trustee. those trusted with our medical power-of-attorney recieved copies.

 

[street]

A great thread for all of us. At some point we need to get things in order POA's and medical wishes etc..
Something I really don't like to deal with but need to at sometime.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

Friends and neighbors you trust to look after your house.


Funeral plans, I've seen families fight over who gets to sit where at a funeral.


Who gets your pets, if you have any. This can also start a fight.


Reinforce that you have chosen the personal reps and that they have your express authority to act on your behalf. I was PR at my cousins request because she knew I could get along with her difficult mother. It turned out it was a wicked step sister who caused trouble and told me repeatedly that "She wouldn't have wanted it this way".


Give support to those who have to act out your instructions.

 

[rk911]

A great thread for all of us. At some point we need to get things in order POA's and medical wishes etc..
Something I really don't like to deal with but need to at sometime.

no time like the present for tomorrow may never come. my brother-in-law waited nearly until the last possible momemt to create his trust much less inform his successor trustee, me, of his decision. he passed a few days after signing it.

 

[CaliKid]

Copies of documents is good;
Where is original will located as that might be required in some states;
List of assets;
Passwords including email (obviously very sensitive to write that down);
Professional contacts you trust (lawyer, CPA, realtor, financials, etc...);
List of bills;

I think my document is up to about 10 pages now in addition to copies of all the EP documents.

 

[Dash man]

We just updated our trusts and I’m in the process of documenting all of our accounts, automatic payments, insurances, contacts, funeral arrangements and such into a document. I’ve let the boys know where I will keep the important documents and how to contact our attorney. I’m considering giving one son and our co-trustee (sister-in-law) emergency access to my password management application so they can access should something happen to us. I would get notice if they tried to access it, and can deny it if I’m able to. But I trust them or I wouldn’t choose them. What I haven’t decided is how much I should tell them about our estate.

 

[JRon]

We sat down with our 2 kids and their spouses a few years ago and went over everything with them - accounts and dollar amounts, gave them copies of wills and POA's, and master password to our password manager. Their spouses were a little shocked by the amount of info we shared, but our kids weren't surprised.

We have since made all funeral arrangements and let the kids know that as well. We hopefully have another 30 years, but you never know.

 

[ERD50]

Are your 1st and 2nd executors lawyers? If not (and maybe still, if they are), you might want to have them read through the documents to see if they understand them.

IMO, it's a bit weird that these trust docs are written in legalese, yet most of the successor trustees are not lawyers. When I got the trust documents for my parents, and my MIL/FIL, I had some learning to do. If the legalese is required, there ought to be a "guide for non-lawyers" included.

Who knew (not me!) that in a legal document the word "shall" means what most would call "must". It's supposedly not optional. But there were all these statements like "funeral expenses, blah, blah, shall be paid from the trust". Well, my MIL already paid for them with a check. Did she do something wrong? What are the consequences? Does it need to be un-done? Who would know/care? Who needs to be worried about these trivialities with everything else going on?

I've seen trusts (ours included, I need to get them re-done), with so much irrelevant fluff that needs to be gone through. Is this important? Sections about complex investments that the trustees would be "authorized" to use. Who needs that, just a simple "common man" investment approach is all that's needed. What does it mean? Is it just optional, FYI, or what? IMO, it's just fluff to pump up the volume of the document (all spit out by a computer) to impress people and think they got something really impressive to justify the fees.

Our MIL/FIL's lawyer actually admitted that he didn't know what a certain section of the trust meant, and he "wrote" it (a computer program he bought spit it out) some 20 years ago. Well, the executors/successor trustees are supposed to understand this for what may be more than 20 years, yet he can't explain it?

-ERD50

 

[donheff]

DW and I just updated our wills, trusts, POAs, directives, and an extensive
Actions on Death or Incompetence document I put together that outines accounts, contacts, steps to take, etc. I put copies on my Google Drive and shared access with DW, DS, and DD.

I was recently diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease and, although I am currently fine and expect progress to be slow, potential long term cognitive effects and oddball side effects of some possible future meds worry me. So I sat down with DW and DS and went over how to seize access to all of our accounts if I suddenly go bonkers. We have things setup so neither of us can do anything rash without the other getting text and email notifications. I believe it is such that even a smart guy like me can't do too much damage before DW and the kids could rein me in.

 

[donheff]

Are your 1st and 2nd executors lawyers? If not (and maybe still, if they are), you might want to have them read through the documents to see if they understand them.

IMO, it's a bit weird that these trust docs are written in legalese, yet most of the successor trustees are not lawyers. When I got the trust documents for my parents, and my MIL/FIL, I had some learning to do. If the legalese is required, there ought to be a "guide for non-lawyers" included.

Who knew (not me!) that in a legal document the word "shall" means what most would call "must". It's supposedly not optional. But there were all these statements like "funeral expenses, blah, blah, shall be paid from the trust". Well, my MIL already paid for them with a check. Did she do something wrong? What are the consequences? Does it need to be un-done? Who would know/care? Who needs to be worried about these trivialities with everything else going on?

I've seen trusts (ours included, I need to get them re-done), with so much irrelevant fluff that needs to be gone through. Is this important? Sections about complex investments that the trustees would be "authorized" to use. Who needs that, just a simple "common man" investment approach is all that's needed. What does it mean? Is it just optional, FYI, or what? IMO, it's just fluff to pump up the volume of the document (all spit out by a computer) to impress people and think they got something really impressive to justify the fees.

Our MIL/FIL's lawyer actually admitted that he didn't know what a certain section of the trust meant, and he "wrote" it (a computer program he bought spit it out) some 20 years ago. Well, the executors/successor trustees are supposed to understand this for what may be more than 20 years, yet he can't explain it?

-ERD50

+1 These things are complex and convoluted. ERD's post reminded me to look at our recent trust changes and write a plain English summary for myself, DW, and the kids. I too think there should be a simpler way to word these things but I have never seen such.

 

[Dash man]

+1 These things are complex and convoluted. ERD's post reminded me to look at our recent trust changes and write a plain English summary for myself, DW, and the kids. I too think there should be a simpler way to word these things but I have never seen such.

My wife wants me to put together a flow chart to show her sister and our kids what it all means.

 

[Bamaman]

It is unfortunate that life situations come up where wills change and hard decisions have to be made. My wife and I are presently at that point.

We have a daughter that's fiscally irresponsibly--getting her first job at age 33. And money burns a hole in her pocket. We're permanently raising her 9 year old daughter, and her 12 year old is being raised by his father. Caring for these children is our first priority.

My wife has a 53 year old son that has a good job and trade, but he's very distant--and seldom heard from. Her daughter is a college graduate and accountant and is trustworthy. She would takeover raising our granddaughter if we pass on before Brynley is of legal age.

We're going to setup a Special Needs Trust to protect the grandkids. We've got to make hard decisions on what assets will be sold and who gets what at our death. States accept trusts, but often want them to be liquidated when the benefactors reach the age of 35 or so. Are the grandkids going to be responsible?

As we age and our children and grandchildren reach different stages of life, there may be many times our wills and trusts will need revision. And the distribution of assets will not be equally amongst heirs. We will prefer that the details of our estates be kept secret from the children/grandchildren.

After all, life is a work in progress, and things change constantly. And great advice on inheritances is just so difficult to get.

 

[Midpack]

+1 These things are complex and convoluted. ERD's post reminded me to look at our recent trust changes and write a plain English summary for myself, DW, and the kids. I too think there should be a simpler way to word these things but I have never seen such.

That’s a good idea. The legal portion of my parents trust docs were about 15-20 pages, and we executed them without any issues in 2018. The trust DW and I just commissioned is 90 pages, and our estate couldn’t be simpler!!! No kids, no business or complex assets...

 

[pacergal]

DH and I are co trustees and each others healthcare proxy, etc.
Our kids are successors, and POD on accounts. They know where the financial and legal (will, trust, healthcare directive) notebooks are and where passwords are kept. And we have reviewed our desires with them.
They do not know the actual financial amounts of our accounts at this time.

 

[brett]

They know where are wills, medical directions, etc and financial data are kept.

They have the name of our estate lawyer and the name of an accountant we recommend.

They know where our bank safety deposit box key is and we have placed them on the 'access' list.

They are not aware of our financial situation at this juncture, nor do they need to be.

The only detail they know about our will/estate is that the provision for each grandchild's post secondary education comes off the top before any other monies from the estate are paid out.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

This is a good post and I'm not going to hijack it...but soon I'm going to post a new thread about what an executor/trustee should ask about what is expected from them.

 

[whatnot]

We just had new Wills, POA, Health directives done. Our old Wills were 15 years old. And we also moved to a different State about 2 years ago when we retired.
State laws are very different.
The lawyer we used said they are Very busy due to COVID-19. During these times, the importance of health directives is more urgent,
I gave electronic copies of our documents to both adult kids and told them where the Original documents are.
I plan on creating a document that lists the Institutions where we currently have assets. Hopefully, I’ll update on a yearly basis. Keep this with the original Will.

 

[rk911]

i have created an "Emergency Book" with all sorts of information about the house, accounts, insurance, etc. it is intended for my wife should i go first. this is in addition to our trust, wills, POA's, etc. she is aware of it.

 

[Scratchy]

We just had new Wills, POA, Health directives done. Our old Wills were 15 years old. And we also moved to a different State about 2 years ago when we retired.
State laws are very different.
The lawyer we used said they are Very busy due to COVID-19. During these times, the importance of health directives is more urgent,
I gave electronic copies of our documents to both adult kids and told them where the Original documents are.
I plan on creating a document that lists the Institutions where we currently have assets. Hopefully, I’ll update on a yearly basis. Keep this with the original Will.

It may be worthwhile for some to consider executing durable POA's that grant their designated agent powers even before they are incapacitated. My spouse and I have already executed durable general and medical POA for each other. To be clear, these are already in effect and not "springing" where if one of us was incapacitated the other would have to get two physicians or some other certification to assume powers. Our attorney suggested this so as to make it as easy as possible for the attorney in fact to assume powers, without having to prove the principal is incapacitated. For our retirement accounts, we filled out the durable POA forms specific to that institution as sometimes financial institutions do not honor general POA documents.

Similarly, we have separate trusts but are already co-trustees for each other's trusts, and are registered as such on each other's trust accounts. Again, this is to make things as seamless as possible for a co- or successor trustee to assume powers.

Of course, one has to trust the POA or co-trustee, as they could theoretically exercise their powers at any time. But I'm my view, if you do not trust someone while you are well, then you probably should not be trusting them to act in your interest when you are incapacitated.

 

[ncbill]

Health care POAs are crucial IMHO...be sure to discuss at length with your heath care agent how far you want treatment to go in some specific instances.

E.g. the progress of dementia has left you bedridden & unable to communicate...do you want a full-court press the next time you develop an acute complication (e.g. pneumonia) or is that the time to call Hospice, or something in-between?

I had a parent in the "bedridden & unable to communicate" state for the better part of a decade before they died...still not sure I carried out their wishes because we never talked about such difficult situations beforehand.

 

[Charlotte]

When we completed our trust, wills, POAs, health POAs, etc, I wrote a group email to everyone listed with any role in it.

I started with the location of the stored documents and the name of the attorney and her contact info. Next, so that there wasn’t later confusion, for each document, I listed out who was first in a role, who was backup, etc.

This was because some of the people in the documents don’t really know each other that well. For example, although my sister and my husband's sister have met several times in the last 30 years, they don’t really know each other and don’t live in the same city/state. Yet each has a named role in our plans. So I wanted each to know what they were on point for, and what they were NOT on point for and who was. As well, it made sure everyone had names and contact info for each other, in the event of a disaster happening to my husband and me at the same time.

Note: I did not actually distribute any of the documents. I also didn’t tell anyone the size of our assets. I did tell them that there is an informal letter at the front of the trust docs that outlines account numbers, approx balances, general investment strategy and how to best help our kids (currently college-aged... still a bit too young to manage the kind of money they will eventually inherit.)