Who does the grocery shopping?

[Nords]

My idea of an outstandingly helpful spouse would be someone who could (without help) think of a nutritious meal plan that would be liked or acceptable to the family, determine what ingredients are needed, go and buy them at decent prices, cook, clean up the dishes and kitchen all by himself, and figure out how to incorporate the leftovers into future meals. And he/she would do this for at least half of the meals. Some men do this and I think they are treasures, but some others don't. Luckily I have no dog in this fight (as they say in Texas), because I am happily unmarried and living alone.

I'm sorry that this is regarded as "outstandingly helpful" and "treasures" behavior instead of "just hauling their share of the load".

 

[W2R]

I'm sorry that this is regarded as "outstandingly helpful" and "treasures" behavior instead of "just hauling their share of the load".

Maybe it is for younger people, and even for old fogies like me I'm sure it will be, in time. Times have changed so much in our lifetimes.

The word "nutritious" precludes the chips-salsa-beer menu...

 

[MichaelB]

Requirements must always be carefully defined! Left to his own devices, husband will buy the closest thing to what was asked for, so a request for "beets" resulted in 1) Harvard beets and 2) pickled beets, instead of the plain canned beets that were wanted. (Fortunately, at least one person on the house likes at least one of these beet types, so nothing was wasted).

Amethyst

I shop like your husband, making my best effort to deliver what I thought was the requirement even when the writing is not clear or the specific product was not to be found. That's why DW does most of the food shopping.

Beer, chips, salsa, chocolate - I really don't see the issue. They are tools of enlightenment.

 

[Richard4444]

http://http://lifeinc.today.msnbc.m...of-dads-say-they-do-the-grocery-shopping?lite

Article today says 52% of men do the grocery shopping. Kinda reflects this forum. In my house, we do it together; after all, it's something to do !

 

[Amethyst]

We've observed this behavior, too. I think it's more symptomatic of the national obsession with being "connected" every second - same impulse that causes drivers to start yacking on their cell phones when they've just barely left the house. It could also be a symptom of perfectionism - gosh, we've gotta get just the exact right brand and flavor of Greek yogurt, or our day will simply be ruined!

Amethyst

(
In my grocery store, during the times when I shop, approximately a third to a half of the men have cell phones plastered to their ears, and are reading off labels to someone via cell phone. To me it shows a complete lack of involvement and initiative, .

 

[Ronstar]

We shop together on Saturdays. We're shopping as I write this. I'm usually online while we shop

 

[freebird5825]

If my DH did the grocery shopping, all we would have in the house would be beer, chips and salsa.

Likewise for Mr B, it would be potato chips, chocolate chip cookies, Twizzlers, cold cuts and beef.

I maintain the shopping list. I do the dollar store canned and dry goods and dog food runs when I have another errand that brings me past the store. When we do our big meat shopping trips, we go together to Aldi's or use the free BJ's 3 month trial memberships that Mr B signs up for. For milk/eggs/bread, Mr B buys those items on his way back from the morning Legion guy's coffee club.

All in all, it's a 50-50 split on the shopping chore.

 

[Moemg]

Some of the older men I see in the grocery store look perplexed .I always try to help them out since maybe they are there because their wives are sick or have passed away .They can return the favor when I am in Home Depot looking clueless .

 

[Sue J]

The few times that DH and I have shopped together it took twice as long because everything needed a discussion. I'd reach for the generic can of black olives on sale for 3/$2 and he'd go for the $2.29 each exotic gourmet ones from the foreign import specialty display. Too much comparing and explaining.

There are times when I appreciate him picking things up at the store. He will faithfully follow a list and execute a coupon. Sometimes I tell him to pick up anything else he'd like just because I get into a rut and seem to buy the same things all the time. That's his chance to try another brand of sardines in mustard sauce or even branch out into sardines in tomato sauce.

 

[LakeTravis]

I've been grocery shopping exclusively for about 5 years now and we spend half as much as we used to when my wife would do it.

 

[Notmuchlonger]

If my DH did the grocery shopping, all we would have in the house would be beer, chips and salsa.

Some good tequila would be a party


We both do the shopping in our household. We split up and get it done twice as fast. I enjoy picking out the meats.

 

[haha]

We've observed this behavior, too. I think it's more symptomatic of the national obsession with being "connected" every second - same impulse that causes drivers to start yacking on their cell phones when they've just barely left the house. It could also be a symptom of perfectionism - gosh, we've gotta get just the exact right brand and flavor of Greek yogurt, or our day will simply be ruined!

Amethyst

It might also be because these guys have picky wives, and they know better than to displease the boss. It has happened.

Ha

 

[Nords]

Too much comparing and explaining.

In the military we call that "training". It's the only way to get more qualified people on the watchbill...

 

[Amethyst]

That is another way of putting what I meant. Probably the people at both ends of the conversation are picky about every little thing, and that is why they are spending time on the phone fussing over Greek yogurt. I should probably note down physical descriptions, etc. so I can avoid ever having to sell a house to such people.

A.

It might also be because these guys have picky wives, and they know better than to displease the boss. It has happened.

Ha

 

[Gumby]

I should probably note down physical descriptions, etc. so I can avoid ever having to sell a house to such people.

A.

Have you ever read Richard Ford's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel Independence Day? If you haven't, its worth reading if only for the part where the realtor protagonist is showing houses to one particular couple. It's also a very good read generally, but your comment put me in mind of that particular episode.

 

[Amethyst]

I haven't read it, but will be going to the library soon, and will put it on my list to request; thanks!

A.

Have you ever read Richard Ford's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel Independence Day? If you haven't, its worth reading if only for the part where the realtor protagonist is showing houses to one particular couple. It's also a very good read generally, but your comment put me in mind of that particular episode.

 

[haha]

That is another way of putting what I meant. Probably the people at both ends of the conversation are picky about every little thing, and that is why they are spending time on the phone fussing over Greek yogurt.

A.

This is funny. I just threw out a whole container of Trader Joe "European Yogurt". I bought it because it is less than half the price of the greek yogurt that I usually buy, and I don't have so walk so far to get it. But there is pretend Greek yogurt, and Greek yogurt, this was pretend.

I started my yogurt eating days in Boston in the 60s. I bought it from a Lebanese guy who ran a little market in my neighborhood. It came in glass wide mouth bottles with a paper press-on cap, like old fashioned milk bottles that the dairy guy delivered, but with a mouth you could get a spoon into. It was called Yahourt. I am not picky at all about wine and would only pay up for anything beyond a say a Chilean Malbec for a very special occasion, but my yogurt better be thick and creamy and highly acidic, and it better not have any fruit or sweetener in it.

Actually, I am glad people are getting more picky about food. For too many years non-ethnic whites would eat anything, they knew nothing about food or what fresh was or even what part of the cow they were buying.

Asians are still the pickiest, and Euro Americans who retain their ethnicity. But yuppies are catching up, and it puts pressure on the stores and fish and meat markets to do a better job.

One thing clear, the average retailer will sell you crap if you will accept it.

Ha

 

[Moemg]

My idea of an outstandingly helpful spouse would be someone who could (without help, reminders, or direction) think of a nutritious meal plan that would be liked or acceptable to the family, determine what ingredients are needed, go and buy them at decent prices within a budget, cook, clean up the dishes and kitchen all by himself, and figure out how to incorporate the leftovers into future meals. And he/she would do this for at least half of the meals. Some men do this and I think they are treasures, but some others don't. Luckily I have no dog in this fight (as they say in Texas), because I am happily unmarried and living alone.

I seriously doubt that this guy exists but if he does have him PM me !

 

[Sue J]

My idea of an outstandingly helpful spouse would be someone who could (without help, reminders, or direction) think of a nutritious meal plan that would be liked or acceptable to the family, determine what ingredients are needed, go and buy them at decent prices within a budget, cook, clean up the dishes and kitchen all by himself, and figure out how to incorporate the leftovers into future meals. And he/she would do this for at least half of the meals. Some men do this and I think they are treasures, but some others don't. Luckily I have no dog in this fight (as they say in Texas), because I am happily unmarried and living alone.

DH asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day and I asked if he would plan and implement a dinner. It was excellent and very appreciated.

 

[FUEGO]

It might also be because these guys have picky wives, and they know better than to displease the boss. It has happened.

Spoken like a pro!

Last night I took a picture of the particular kind of chili paste I bought for the DW. It was getting late, and the asian grocery was about to close, so I found her in the store next door, showed her the picture of the chili paste to verify it was the right kind before the asian grocery closed. Hell hath no fury like a woman who's husband buys the wrong kind of chili paste. I have learned that lesson before.

 

[FUEGO]

I seriously doubt that this guy exists but if he does have him PM me !

That describes me, but I also love to eat good food and love to spend as little money as possible.

 

[Amethyst]

Oh dear. And here I never realized, and no one ever told me, how patient and forbearing I was not to get upset about those Harvard beets!

Spoken like a pro!

Hell hath no fury like a woman who's husband buys the wrong kind of chili paste. I have learned that lesson before.

 

[obgyn65]

Since I have lived on my own most of my life, I have done the shopping myself. And yes, beer, chips and wine are sometimes on the menu

 

[Amethyst]

Since I have lived on my own most of my life, I have done the shopping myself. And yes, beer, chips and wine are sometimes on the menu

Beer = grain group
Wine = fruit group
Chips = vegetable group (OK, I am stretching matters here)
So, for a perfectly balanced diet, you just need dairy (ice cream) and meat (Vienna sausages) and you're all set. Well, maybe some salsa for vegetables. I'm just not sure those chips qualify

Amethyst

 

[Nemo2]

I do the vast majority of the grocery shopping.....I prefer to be early, first into our local store, ("Gettouta my way.."), grab the 'bargoons', check off the list, load the cart...and gone.

My lady puts the stuff in the fridge/cupboards upon my return.