Why do we spend so much on going out to eat?

[HawkeyeNFO]

for me it is a vice - I love going out to eat! But it does get expensive. I found this post describing some of the pitfalls: Protecting your Money Mustache from Spendy Friends | Mr. Money Mustache.

 

[dmpi]

One thing I've noticed is that tax, tip, and drink can cost up to $15 out of a $35 meal.
To attack these costs we sometimes eat at the deli inside our local Indian Casino. No tax, No tip, and free drinks.

 

[Tadpole]

The article is correct that people should be given their own bill. I recall once when I was young I was on a business visit with a group of people that made twice (or more) the salary I did. I carefully ordered within my allowance and I don't drink. At the end, my colleague, Mr. Buffoon grabbed the bill and started dividing it equally. He, himself, had ordered numerous drinks precipitating the same from others. I sat there bored for hours as they drank. Even though it was semi-business (really we all knew each other - it was all University type people), I loudly announced that I refused to pay an amount that was several times the cost of my own consumption. Perhaps if this had been the first time he had made sure everyone else paid his way, I wouldn't have been so brass but I was tired of it.

I realize today that, yes, I am cheap. Recently a friend of my husband called to say he was going to be in our neighborhood. My husband and I decided we would take him to an upscale restaurant. We then found out that he would have an uncertain number of relatives with him. We are now planning to take them to breakfast at a nice but inexpensive place.

 

[GSMAN]

Don't really eat in real expensive restaurants but we eat out at least 5 to 7 times a week. At least one of those times is with our grown kids so we easily drop 125 bucks or so on a meal when its the whole family. We always treat. Me and the DW have discussed this and our rational is that we work hard all week and we shouldn't feel guilty about this expenditure. By the time we buy groceries, cook dinner, clean the kitchen, etc... it seems to be worth the extra bucks to eat out. We are very frugal in all other areas of our life except eating out. We don't think twice about it. And yes the prices are getting outrageous. I noticed the other day I was charged 3.50 for a glass of tea at a nicer restaurant. Almost fell out of my chair!!

 

[Sarah in SC]

I enjoyed that article about the spendy friends, but I have to say we are pretty lucky in that our friends all drink about what we do, we usually split the bill into who ate what, and DH and I will often pick up the tab for our single friends since our regular restaurant is quite inexpensive.
It is an area we could cut down on more if we wanted, but going out with friends is our primary source of entertainment.

 

[Mulligan]

I don't mind going out to eat somewhere nice once a week. In my younger years, I ate then went for entertainment, now eating has become the entertainment in itself for the night. I could afford to go out more, but I am a plate cleaner (nice term for no self control), no matter the serving size. So my wallet could afford to eat out more ,however, my waistline cannot.

 

[dtbach]

Why not spend it? You can't take it with you and a good meal is a pretty pleasant way to spend a couple of hours. I love to cook myself so we don't eat out that much, but when we do go out, I'll order an appetizer and usually get a desert. Why?? Because I can and I want to.

 

[Donzo]

I also love to eat out and do so about 5 times per week. I am out during the day so my main meal for eating out is lunch - much less expensive than dinner out. We usually will go for Thai, chinese or sushi. This expense adds so much to day, it is well worth the $. Today DW and I are going to a movie ($5 day) and will have a late lunch afterwards at our favorite sushi place. Retirement rules!

 

[Chuckanut]

For me the pleasure of eating out is time with good friends and relatives, eating something I would normally not cook for myself, and not having to clean up afterwards.

I can get all three of the above by going to less expensive ethnic restaurants. There is no need for $20+ plates, $5 cups of coffee, and $8 desserts.

The other nice thing about eating out is that it is a pleasure that can be easily turned off when times are tight and back on when things get better. (Unlike a boat, golf club membership, expensive cars, etc.)

 

[Animorph]

We don't care about food that much. We go out to eat on Saturdays, but it's just to KFC, Arby's, Subway, or Taco Bell for a change of pace. An occasional pizza on Sunday, and something like Outback every few months for special occasions. Any more just isn't worth it to us.

 

[W2R]

We eat lunch out every day but we don't eat as though it was a special event every day. We eat at little hole-in-the-wall neighborhood mom-n-pop restaurants, usually Italian/Creole, where we are regulars and feel like family. So far this year, the average daily cost for one has been $9, including everything - - food, drink, tax, and a generous tip which obviously is optional. To me that is not expensive, but I am sure it probably would be to others. (MrMoneyMustache spent over 3x as much at the Italian restaurant he went to, and I would suggest that he might want to shop around, and maybe choose the great suffering of drinking water instead of that $7 beer.)


We are lucky that we can afford to eat out, I know. To me there is considerable value in spending my money that way, as opposed to the ways some others choose to spend their money, and I can afford to do so. Each to his/her own.

Life is about choices. Take a look at the "Let's spend $10,000!" thread. Anybody who wanted to could have said they wanted to spend it on eating lunch out every day for 3 years. But no, nobody really WANTED to do that. That's fine, and it is their choice while eating out is ours.

 

[FUEGO]

Except for pizza and the variety available at a chinese buffet type place, we have pretty much figured out how to eat awesome food at home that is almost always healthier than restaurants. Luckily I like to cook and like to replicate restaurant recipes.

When we do go out it is usually somewhere very inexpensive and we typically don't buy drinks (sodas or alcohol) so we can get out of the restaurant for $15-30 usually (for a family of 4). We have young kids so eating out at nice places would probably not be an enjoyable experience for at least 2 of us, and maybe all 4 (or 5 if you count the baby).

We partially make up for not eating out a lot by cooking up all kinds of stuff at home. Lots of ethnic stuff (asian and mexican mostly). Not that these are particularly expensive except that most of the asian stuff is imported from Asia.

We used to go out more, but it has lost its luster since the kids came along. Maybe some day when the kids are out of the house we will once again look forward to a quiet evening out with no cooking and no dishes. Right now if the kids are at Grandma's house we kinda just want to stay at home and have pizza and watch a movie or something to relax.

 

[W2R]

we can get out of the restaurant for $15-30 usually (for a family of 4).

Exactly... and MrMoneyMustache spent $60 for a family of two. What's wrong with this picture? I think he made some bad decisions that had nothing to do with whether he was eating out or not. That restaurant was expensive! And then, he decided to compound that problem by choosing something expensive that he could not easily share, and ordering beer. Maybe he should re-examine why he ended up at that restaurant and why he decided to spend so much there.

P.S. - - I agree completely about eating out with kids. It wasn't as much fun for me back then either, because the experience is interrupted by having to teach Restaurant Behavior 101. It will be more fun when they are grown and gone.

 

[Mulligan]

Exactly... and MrMoneyMustache spent $60 for a family of two. What's wrong with this picture? I think he made some bad decisions that had nothing to do with whether he was eating out or not. That restaurant was expensive! And then, he decided to compound that problem by choosing something expensive that he could not easily share, and ordering beer. Maybe he should re-examine why he ended up at that restaurant and why he decided to spend so much there.

P.S. - - I agree completely about eating out with kids. It wasn't as much fun for me back then either, because the experience is interrupted by having to teach Restaurant Behavior 101. It will be more fun when they are grown and gone.

Or deal with a teenager who orders a $14 grilled chicken caesars salad and then promptly tosses off the meat to be thrown away. If had known that the meat alone would have filled me up. Of course, I was slightly ticked off at the waste so I asked why didn't she got get the caesars salad. Her teenage response was "I dunno".

 

[Sarah in SC]

I'd always vote for the beer with dinner, W2R--to each his (or her) own. Whereas I completely agree about never wanting to eat anywhere with children!
It's okay if some of us make those choices--I have a peculiar aversion to sharing meals, so I'd never order something to share with DH. We get our own meals. Maybe because I'm a youngest child, but I don't share my food.
I once got completely grossed out watching a friend's little boy clawing at her plate while she tried to eat a meal, hoovering up stuff and dragging it over to his plate. AAACCCKKK!!!

 

[W2R]

I'd always vote for the beer with dinner, W2R--to each his (or her) own.

Exactly! Although if he so upset about the cost of eating out, he could save some by drinking that beer at home. But as you say, these are individual choices and he made his.

I have a peculiar aversion to sharing meals, so I'd never order something to share with DH. We get our own meals. Maybe because I'm a youngest child, but I don't share my food.

Since restaurant portions are so HUGE, if I felt that way then I would simply eat half and take the rest home in a "to go" box. The effect would be the same, in that you would get two meals out of it so each meal would cost half as much.

We usually just have the waitress split the meal and each get our own (half sized) plate. Half a sandwich or wrap is just enough. But we don't usually split salads either unless they are especially large, because they aren't so high in calories or fillilng, and can be messy to split. We used to split a gigantic chicken Caesar salad at a more expensive restaurant (now out of business) that we went to down on St. Charles Ave, though.

 

[Sarah in SC]

Since restaurant portions are so HUGE, if I felt that way then I would simply eat half and take the rest home in a "to go" box. The effect would be the same, in that you would get two meals out of it so each meal would cost half as much.

We usually just have the waitress split the meal and each get our own (half sized) plate. Half a sandwich or wrap is just enough. But we don't split salads either because they aren't so high in calories or fillilng, and can be messy to split.

Ah, that might work. I just imagine DH taking all the "good" stuff and leaving me the stuff he doesn't like, while I'm distracted. Trust issues.
But I might do more "to-go" boxing, now that you mention it.

 

[W2R]

Ah, that might work. I just imagine DH taking all the "good" stuff and leaving me the stuff he doesn't like, while I'm distracted. Trust issues.
But I might do more "to-go" boxing, now that you mention it.

Maybe one of you could split, and the other choose. Or just have the waitress do it before it is brought to you. Yes, to-go boxing is a lifesaver with portion sizes being so big these days. It's ridiculous that we can split our lunches and even so, they are still so large that they are the main meal of the day for both of us.

 

[LakeTravis]

We eat out less and less each year. It's hard for me to enjoy when I'm so aware of the costs, and spend the time calculating what I would have saved had I cooked the same meal at home.

Like another poster pointed out, it's getting ridiculous when a glass of iced tea is $3.50. I've also noticed that service has declined over the years, and what was normal service years ago is now rare and considered great.

Where I've really noticed how expensive it is getting is fast food. Last night, I grilled cheeseburgers and made french fries at home. Myself, I had two double cheeseburgers - probably close to a pound of meat. We used $6 worth of ground beef, $1 worth of buns, and $2 worth of french fries. The burgers were as good as what we normally get at Whataburger, for which we would normally pay close to $20 for.

We've pretty much resigned ourselves to buffets, where we can experience a wide choice of various items. Not the same quality as a fancy sit-down, I'm sure, but I've always been a quantity-not-quality kinda guy.

 

[haha]

A lot depends on what kind of diet you like. Cheap restaurant meals must start with cheap food, and this usually means starch-pizza, pasta, beans, tortillas, etc. It also depends a lot on where you are. Some cities just are not cheap.

I don't eat any of these things, so an inexpensive restaurant meal for me either does not exist, or is a happy hour with very small portions. If I eat out alone (eating out because I am too hungry to wait until I get home) I can eat lunch for 12-$15 (clams, small sashimi portions,) but I need to eat again when I do get home.

With my friend we have two tiers- an enjoyable hamburger place with an outdoor garden for ~$35 for 2, incl meal, one glass wine, and tip. These prices include tax, but not dessert as neither of us eat it. In a French place, maybe a cheese plate. But with th eadditional tax and tip. this likely adds $16-$17 to the total. Much less frequently a medium tier restaurant for $115-135 for two. I have to avoid gluten, so I can't use low end ethnic places much, I need informed English speaking cooks and management. I eat occasionally at a U. District Arab place and usually get chicken shawarma. I can get this for one with coffee for around $10-!2. It is good and filling. Before the gluten problem I might have had a couple pizza slices and a beer or iced tea at Pagliacci for $6-$7.

Ha

 

[W2R]

Where I've really noticed how expensive it is getting is fast food.

Ew. We avoid fast food like the plague. It just isn't that good, and as you point out, it is ridiculously expensive these days. I just checked and other than during our hurricane evacuation, we only ate lunch at a fast food place once so far this year (Wendy's).

I guess you are paying extra for the fast service, even though sometimes they seem slower than just a regular restaurant.

 

[MichaelB]

I'd always vote for the beer with dinner, W2R--to each his (or her) own. Whereas I completely agree about never wanting to eat anywhere with children!

Funny - it's the children that [-]drove[/-] motivated me to drink beer with dinner.

We eat out, but usually with family members that share similar tastes and budget. It is one way to get together. Alcohol adds a lot to a restaurant bill, so we usually just even split but if someone doesn't drink alcohol we also just invite them.

 

[Alan]

We'll often share a meal and most restaurants these days are accustomed to splitting it before it arrives, or we'll each order a meal, plus to-go boxes at the start, and divide them in 2 before we start eating - we find it easier to eat only half a portion that way.

I was once on business with a female colleague and the restaurant we were in had really good starters so we decided to have a starter each and split an entree. We ordered a fillet steak and when the waiter brought our plates he held them at head height as he jinked his way around the tables. I told him that I liked his style, and he replied that he held the trays up like that so he wouldn't be embarrassed by folks seeing him serving 4 oz steaks

 

[grasshopper]

Being veggies we eat almost exclusively at home. I looked at Quicken for curiosities sake, dining is 2.5% of our last years spending. Less than $100 was spent for food within 50 miles of home, another $100 spent while shopping more than 100 miles away from home. Most of our dining expenses were travel related, out of state or out of country.

Groceries made up 15.5% of our budget.

 

[Tree-dweller]

It sure seems like the cost of living in the area you live can make a difference. Living in a near suburb of a big eastern city means we have a hard time finding a good (and we only want good) restaurant where we can get a satisfying meal under $20. DW and I look at dining out as a treat, so we get what we're unlikely to make for ourselves at home. That usually ain't cheap. We're both decent cooks, so we can eat fairly well at home. But when we get the urge for, say, oysters, we'll pop for having someone else shuck them for us... No jive!