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06-16-2010, 01:56 AM
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#21
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 728
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When I get the annual reminder to complete my mandatory 2 hours diversity training.
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06-16-2010, 04:58 AM
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#22
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,116
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__________________
I get by with a little help from my friends....ta ta ta ta ta...
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06-16-2010, 05:52 AM
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#23
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 18,085
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stevenst
Perfect. I guarantee that the stakeholders reached out and addressed the issue as a collaborative opportunity. Translation: Assigned the problem to someone else.
Steve
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Unfortunately, this is more likely a situation that will cleave to the "no good deed goes unpunished" adage. There is almost no way short of quitting that I will get out of having to help on this one. Damn my professionalism and work ethic...
__________________
"All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."
- George Orwell
Ezekiel 23:20
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06-16-2010, 05:55 AM
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#24
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 18,085
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moscyn
When I get the annual reminder to complete my mandatory 2 hours diversity training.
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Oh, yes, mandatory training. Let's see, in the past year I was sent to a two day class on how to write (I have been a published author of business pieces for years) and a week of basic credit training (I have been a credit analyst for over a decade). In the next year, I expect to be sent to a course on how to have meetings with management teams (I have been grilling C-level execs for years as a rating agency analyst, buy side analyst, etc.).
__________________
"All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."
- George Orwell
Ezekiel 23:20
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06-16-2010, 06:11 AM
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#25
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,487
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...when the CEO talks about building loyalty and employee retention, after there have been 5 CEOs in 8 years...
R
__________________
Find Joy in the Journey...
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06-16-2010, 08:36 AM
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#26
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: North Oregon Coast
Posts: 16,483
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moscyn
diversity training.
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Bingo!
__________________
"Hey, for every ten dollars, that's another hour that I have to be in the work place. That's an hour of my life. And my life is a very finite thing. I have only 'x' number of hours left before I'm dead. So how do I want to use these hours of my life? Do I want to use them just spending it on more crap and more stuff, or do I want to start getting a handle on it and using my life more intelligently?" -- Joe Dominguez (1938 - 1997)
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06-16-2010, 09:25 AM
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#27
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,684
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When the trainer and two students travel overnight from Dallas to Atlanta for a little 4 hour internal training session, and the class has a total of three students, one from Atlanta.
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06-16-2010, 11:14 AM
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#28
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Gone but not forgotten
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 6,924
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you see the word 'deleveraging' in an email.
__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
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06-16-2010, 12:52 PM
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#29
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,116
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__________________
I get by with a little help from my friends....ta ta ta ta ta...
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06-16-2010, 12:59 PM
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#30
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas: No Country for Old Men
Posts: 50,004
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vicente solano
I feel compelled to remind US corporations that theiy are to blame for diseminating/exporting all this HR nonsense all over us, bakward nation in corporate business that we are!
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It's a disease that respects no borders.
__________________
Numbers is hard
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06-16-2010, 03:01 PM
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#31
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lawn chair in Texas
Posts: 14,183
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Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo
It's a disease that respects no borders.
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I.e. outside the box...
__________________
Have Funds, Will Retire
...not doing anything of true substance...
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06-16-2010, 06:40 PM
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#32
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 481
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- when you see a response to your request for service that says: "Our SLA for completing this type of request is 5 days. Our average time for completing this type of request is 8.79 days"
- when you read a status report that explains that the project is behind schedule due to a "leak in productivity"....and nobody thinks that is odd.
- when you have a problem with another department, you have to contact a Relationship Manager, who then brings in an Incident Manager, who will turn it over to a Problem Manager if it goes on for more than 24 hours.
And that was just in the last 2 hours of my day
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06-16-2010, 08:37 PM
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#33
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 67
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brewer12345
Unfortunately, this is more likely a situation that will cleave to the "no good deed goes unpunished" adage. There is almost no way short of quitting that I will get out of having to help on this one. Damn my professionalism and work ethic...
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I see. So the stakeholders will be reaching out to.... you. My condolences. One a related note, 'reach out' is one of my favorite recent corporate-speaks. I guess that's because I most often hear 'I'm reaching out to you.....' which means I'm about to be asked to do someone else's job.
Steve
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06-16-2010, 08:41 PM
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#34
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 67
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I'm pretty sure there are at least 3 new Dilbert cartoons in this thread. Someone should alert Scott Adams
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06-16-2010, 08:45 PM
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#35
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Collin County, TX
Posts: 9,294
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You have pens, mugs, coasters, caps, shirts, jackets, umbrellas, tote bags and clocks touting the company logo....
...and no I didn't steal them. They were 'awards'.
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
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06-17-2010, 05:31 AM
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#36
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 728
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Another one from me - When there is a public holiday in my country, I have to set an Out of Office note stating that "Today is a public holiday in ....".
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06-17-2010, 05:36 AM
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#37
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 14,328
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When the reward for winning a company contest is to meet Mr. Bigshot and shake his hand.
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06-17-2010, 05:40 AM
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#38
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 18,085
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stevenst
I see. So the stakeholders will be reaching out to.... you. My condolences. One a related note, 'reach out' is one of my favorite recent corporate-speaks. I guess that's because I most often hear 'I'm reaching out to you.....' which means I'm about to be asked to do someone else's job.
Steve
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Well, the same superior who sent that wonderful glob of corpspeak recently read something that worried him (I read the same thing and concluded it was a rounding error magnitude issue). He asked me to set up a meeting with the authors of what he read and include him. Lo and behold, he was busy at the time of the meeting, so I found myself conducting a meeting with people I thought were idiot alarmists about an "issue" I thought wasn't one.
Heard another one yesterday: "risk stripes.". I had to ask what it meant. It refers to the various types of financial risk: credit risk, interest rate risk, etc.
Summoned to go "kiss the ring" of our VP at a different location today. Rooty-toot.
__________________
"All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."
- George Orwell
Ezekiel 23:20
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06-17-2010, 06:52 AM
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#39
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Cleveland
Posts: 344
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When you have Corporate, Regional and Divisional "Director's of Compensation" yet everyone in the company gets the same 2% Merit increase.
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06-17-2010, 09:00 AM
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#40
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lawn chair in Texas
Posts: 14,183
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI
You have pens, mugs, coasters, caps, shirts, jackets, umbrellas, tote bags and clocks touting the company logo....
...and no I didn't steal them. They were 'awards'.
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We once received (I'm talking the entire corporation) a "cell foam"; i.e. a facsimile mobile phone made from "foam". Went straight from my mail slot to the trash can...
Wonder how much of my nonexistent raise went to pay for that useless POS...
__________________
Have Funds, Will Retire
...not doing anything of true substance...
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