Your Brain is Hooked on Being Right

[eytonxav]

And then there are those who take sport in disecting every word that someone posts and may also change the context, even when they fully understood an OPs context

 

[ERD50]

But it certainly convinced me that educating people usually is not a very good idea, unless they clearly ask for it, and then be careful anyway. It can blow up in our faces.

Ha

Well one certainly needs to read the situation to try to determine if it is appropriate or not (and not be too surprised if they misjudged it!).

I guess I'm thinking more along the lines of factual things, not so much life-style decisions and such. Like sometimes I will hear people say they are going to warm up their car in winter and let it idle for 20 minutes, because it is 'good for it', or that they always change their oil every 3,000 miles. In these cases, I mention that that may have been true at one time, but they should look at their owners manual, that most pros I've heard say it is better to warm a car up by just driving gently for the first few miles. It warms it up faster, which is better for the engine, and you waste less gas. Same for oil changes, most cars are 6-10,000 miles now, and more changes are just wasting money and resources for no benefit.

I do that to be helpful, and like I said, I would sure want to know if I was wasting time/money over some mistaken idea. If they want to get mad at me for providing that info, that's their problem. So maybe I'll keep my mouth shut next time - their loss.


It's one of the reasons I come to this forum. Take the concept of delaying SS - I originally thought that taking it early was a slam-dunk. It would do me no good to get mad when presented with info contrary to what I thought was true. It's hard for me to understand going through life like that.

-ERD50

 

[haha]

I agree, and overall i think pepole come to this board hoping to learn important facts and procedures. But I tend to be wary of giving advice in face to face circumstances. Not holding back on this is part of why I am now single. My former wife had education spending plans that conflicted with what I thought were sensible ways for middle aged people to spend, given that I was the only real earner and was now retired. Since i have always understood that when you are married you are a unit financially, we crapped out on marriage as I would not fold.

I am not sure I ever gave any advice to my sons, once they were 15 or 16. I never listened to my father, even though he was quite frequently correct. I decided I would for the most part rather be liked than helpful, in the advice sense of helpfulness.

I remember a situation with a brother who was 11 years younger than I. I was home on a visit, and he was driving me somewhere. I noticed that he was riding the clutch on the Camaro. it was my parents' car, and I told him that when he drove that way, the clutch never completely engaged, thus causing some slip and premature wear. He didn’t argue, but much later he told me how strongly he disliked my butting in.

Danger is a different category. My ex's uncle pointed out that something I was doing with an old farm tractor was very unsafe, and that it could cause he tractor to "climb the gears"(differential) and flip over and kill me. I was embarrassed, but definitely glad he told me as I was inexperienced and had no idea of this.

Ha

 

[heeyy_joe]

So how do we explain those people who root for the CUBS?

 

[ERD50]

... I am not sure I ever gave any advice to my sons, once they were 15 or 16. ...

Yes, I am very careful to try to avoid giving advice to my kids (as you say below - danger issues are a different thing). If appropriate and it's something I know more about than they do (which isn't always the case anymore!), I will try to fill them in on pros/cons, but try to be clear it is their decision.

Less so with DW, but I think it's easier to create distance with the kids than DW.

... I remember a situation with a brother who was 11 years younger than I. I was home on a visit, and he was driving me somewhere. I noticed that he was riding the clutch on the Camaro. it was my parents' car, and I told him that when he drove that way, the clutch never completely engaged, thus causing some slip and premature wear. He didn’t argue, but much later he told me how strongly he disliked my butting in. ...

To my thinking, you did the right thing. I still say, if he disliked it - tough, it deserved to be said (it wasn't his car). Everyone has to weigh doing what they think is the right thing, and whatever effect it might have on the relationship. It makes life interesting, often more interesting than I care for!


-ERD50

 

[ERD50]

So how do we explain those people who root for the CUBS?

It's like 'Jazz' - if you have to explain it, they will never understand!

Maybe it's time to sidetrack this thread with music videos?

PERCY SLEDGE If Loving You Is Wrong (I Don't Want to Be Rig.flv - YouTube



-ERD50

 

[Bestwifeever]

I never lie, and I'm always right.
-- Firesign Theatre