I believe there is no right or wrong answer when it comes to what and how much to spend on one’s kids. However, I do believe that a parent should be balanced with respect to time and expense on one child vs. the other. In our case, we allocate what many on here might feel is too much for each child based on their age and interests. My wife and I only get one round with them and we want to enjoy parenthood.
So, we had them both take music lessons. One went on to be in the Jazz band at both MS and HS. The other is singing in chorus. In sports, we signed them up for rec sports during elementary school and then once they hit MS we continue with rec but allow them to play travel in one sport per year. Interestingly, my older child ended up switching year to year in travel during MS and finished HS lettering in 2 sports along with Jazz. The combination of her academics, sports and arts led her to be accepted to every school she applied to and ended up at a top school with some merit scholarship money. The younger is tracking on the same path. We will see how it turns out.
No matter arts or sports, academics come first. In terms of money, I just don’t spend my time counting pennies when it comes to the kids but I do understand getting a value for the effort and so in a couple cases we did not pursue certain aspects because we felt that particular situation was not a good value.
I agree with those that question the frugal thing. In the last two years, my kids have had several friends who have lost their dads and mom due to terminal illnesses. I knew one of them well and I know that he was glad that he gave his all to enjoy his kids so he had no regrets.