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As decison day gets closer, nerves are creeping in
Old 04-13-2021, 08:53 PM   #1
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As decison day gets closer, nerves are creeping in

So I have been happily planning my FIRE for several years and actually listed the specific date 5 years ago...I found myself getting excited as each milestone passed, especially last year, as I had less than a year to go etc...

But lately, as I get within 3-4 months of actually handing in my notice (July), I have recently noticed trepidation and nerves are slowing replacing my excitement levels.?

Did other FIREE's encounter this? I assume its normal and possibly that the decison is more stressful than actual the early retirement.

Anyone else going thru this?

Tks
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Old 04-13-2021, 08:56 PM   #2
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It’s completely normal and there would be something wrong if you were not experiencing this. You’ve been presumably working your entire adult life and this is a big life change. That is why so many people talk about OMY (one more year) syndrome. But we all go through this and the vast majority of people on this forum say it’s the best decision they’ve ever made and they have no regrets, myself being one of them.
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Old 04-13-2021, 08:58 PM   #3
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Common feeling, many on here have had it.

I'm in a different situation, so did not impact me (I FIRE'd slowly...and am still doing 200 hours/year for "fun money").

Here are the symptoms:

1) Nervousness about whether you're doing the right thing.

2) Double checking your numbers, thinking you must have missed something

3) Considering the option of "1 more year"

4) Tightening spending, concerned about loss of your "regular" income


P.S. I think if you do decide to #3 above, you'll feel the same way next April.
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Old 04-13-2021, 09:07 PM   #4
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That's what they call anxiety. It's a natural feeling when there is a life change in the works. If it's unbearable, your doctor can give you a prescription to help.

But whatever you do, keep on truckin' with the retirement. You've been preparing yourself for years for the upcoming chapter in your life.

If the feeling doesn't subside, turn in your retirement papers immediately. Life's not worth feeling bad.

Good luck. It's all going to work out for you. You'll be much happier starting your day watching Let's Make a Deal rather than putting out fires at work.
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Old 04-13-2021, 09:24 PM   #5
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I retired at age 54 when my kids were then ages 7, 11, and 17. Wife had not worked since birth of our oldest child. I had planned my exit and exit date for years. I was ready, plan had worked nicely, and all fell into place. I gave notice two months early. When I left, it took me maybe 20 minutes to adjust to retired life. Never looked back, never regretted my decision.

Either you have confidence in your preparations, or you don't. Don't waste time second guessing yourself at this point. Life on earth is too short.
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Old 04-14-2021, 12:03 AM   #6
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The anxiety is normal. Recent threads from folks feeling the same way:

https://www.early-retirement.org/for...ml#post2574268


https://www.early-retirement.org/for...ns-108284.html
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Old 04-14-2021, 03:54 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiskyDave View Post
So I have been happily planning my FIRE for several years and actually listed the specific date 5 years ago...I found myself getting excited as each milestone passed, especially last year, as I had less than a year to go etc...

But lately, as I get within 3-4 months of actually handing in my notice (July), I have recently noticed trepidation and nerves are slowing replacing my excitement levels.?

Did other FIREE's encounter this? I assume its normal and possibly that the decison is more stressful than actual the early retirement.

Anyone else going thru this?

Tks

I think it is normal. I'm planning July too and am anxious about everything.... Yesterday, calculated my opportunity cost if I waited until I can "retire" (47, MRA for me is 57)... $2-2.8M give or take in then year dollars. So, for 10 years of my life I leave millions on the table. How is that not crazy... of course, my coworkers that are miserable and just took out debt to buy a boat etc seem even more crazy. A few will certainly be shocked/jealous. I'm constantly going through my spreadsheets and planning for contingencies in my head. My trailing expenses are about 2% of my liquid net worth but that is due in large part to the recent market run up and it can go down even quicker than it rose. Just more to worry about, I think I'd be more comfortable if it crashed today and found a "bottom" that didn't look so scary! LOL, the market is too high so I feel vulnerable.... never got the euphoria of a high market till a few years later.



I think I'll feel a bit better when I give notice (decision is sort of made at that point and it is no longer something to worry about). I'd like to do it now for that reason (verbal warning) but don't want to burn bridges if I chicken out or something external changes my thinking. I'm leaning towards 6 weeks verbal and 4 written and count down the days to each milestone. Another reason I feel stress is my "boss" is the only one that knows my job and has been verbally accepted into a development program that will have him out of the office for 10 months. The current plan is for me to take over half of his duties when he is gone and I feel almost like a liar not saying something. Until he gets formal notice, I definitely will not say anything as I don't want them to take this opportunity away from him (he's been unjustly screwed before).


A bit of a ramble and pivoted to myself a bit, but no, you are not alone and hopefully we'll both be congratulating each other in 3 months!!!


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Old 04-14-2021, 03:59 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Finance Dave View Post
Common feeling, many on here have had it.

I'm in a different situation, so did not impact me (I FIRE'd slowly...and am still doing 200 hours/year for "fun money").

Here are the symptoms:

1) Nervousness about whether you're doing the right thing.

2) Double checking your numbers, thinking you must have missed something

3) Considering the option of "1 more year"

4) Tightening spending, concerned about loss of your "regular" income


P.S. I think if you do decide to #3 above, you'll feel the same way next April.

I'm 3/4 through my OMY and I can vouch for #3 (chickened out at the economy shut down last March). I was more excited and confident last winter with 7 months to go than I have been during my OMY despite my portfolio skyrocketing over the past year and doing #4 with my spending!
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Old 04-14-2021, 04:39 AM   #9
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It is a normal feeling.
Think about it this way. How many comments have you seen here where the poster states that they wished they retired later vs. being happy they retired, even vs. they wish they retired earlier?
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Old 04-14-2021, 05:00 AM   #10
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Timely post. I'm feeling exactly the same way. "I mean, it's not that bad working here...imagine what I could buy with the salary/bonus/stock of one more year...and what if the market dropped 45% tomorrow"

My plan is to announce after a major stock vest and offer them "a few more weeks" - two for sure, four if they need it, but not eight.

Then I'm reminded of my first financial plan when I was 24 and had saved about $3,000. It was to retire when I was 59 (I'll miss that by about four months).
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Old 04-14-2021, 06:36 AM   #11
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I had the same thing, it's optional. Sadly it's taken me 60+ years to really get it.

Anxiety comes from being in a situation you don't think you have the skills to navigate(it cost me many thousands and years to learn this). Yeah I shook, before giving notice and my first year of retirement.

If I had to do it over, avoid meds, and understand that your anxiety is pretty normal and is trying to protect you. There's any number of free apps to help you breathe(better than benzos) and meditate your way to less anxiety..
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Old 04-14-2021, 06:47 AM   #12
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Glad I'm not alone in this feeling... I passed my Full retirement date nearly 2 years ago, and have decided that Dec 16 will be my last day. Even now I'm still nervous about it... I have advised my senior management and finance of my plans even though I cant officially apply for retirement until 9/3/21. They already have started trying to get me to change my mind. I'm excited with a health dose of concern...
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Old 04-14-2021, 01:18 PM   #13
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Thanks everyone for the good reference points and helping me understand this better.

It's really about finally flipping the switch from saving for the last 30 years to spending and that is not easy to digest sometimes.

But as many of you said, nobody says "Gosh I wish I had worked a few more years, its always wish I had done it sooner"

"I know how much money I have, I just dont know how much time I have left to enjoy it, so why wait"---Full speed ahead to FIRE
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Old 04-14-2021, 01:18 PM   #14
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No. We were ready financially and emotionally. Never looked back. Wished I had done it two years earlier. Cannot buy time with good health.
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Old 04-14-2021, 01:30 PM   #15
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Anxiety about change is normal. If you have done your preparations and planning well, your retirement will be fine.
Double check Firecalc, or whatever calculator you have been using, and answer the questions here:

Early Retirement & Financial Independence Community > Community Forums > Early Retirement FAQs
Some Important Questions to Answer Before Asking - Can I Retire?

If they all work out positive and you are confident and happy with the answers,
turn in your resignation, retire and enjoy life!
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Old 04-14-2021, 01:46 PM   #16
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@WhiskeyDave, I hear you. Feel the same. Though for me it's not anxiety about finances but rather about missing the parts of my w*rk that are enjoyable -- the intellectual stimulation, kudos and satisfaction for a job well done, cameraderie with a few colleagues. It's a grieving process, I think. Feels that way to me anyway.

This forum and these posts have been good encouragement that post-retirement life will be even better. Gotta trust the collective wisdom. It can be difficult though!
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Old 04-14-2021, 01:49 PM   #17
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I would like to lie and say that I had ZERO trepidation or anxiety about my retirement...but I did. I was quite young when I effectively tossed in the towel. In a matter of a few months I went from being the "go to guy" to being unemployable in an area that I was so familiar with. It was a bit nerve wracking to say the least.

However, those feelings went away pretty quick. I settled into retirement VERY quickly and have enjoyed it. I have sunk into professional irrelevancy and am quite content with my station in life.

My anxiety these days is convincing my DW that she should join me in the world of early retirement!
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Old 04-14-2021, 02:35 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ready View Post
It’s completely normal and there would be something wrong if you were not experiencing this.
That makes me abnormal (not the first time). I felt absolutely no anxiety approaching my escape from Megacorp (over three decades worth).
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Old 04-14-2021, 02:48 PM   #19
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One motivation for me to follow through in the home stretch was the blogger who planned his departure carefully, got cold feet and put it off. He became very glum and finally figured out that he was fundamentally disappointed, because he’d denied himself the reward he’d promised himself for so long.

We’re each just a collection of parts with voices, clamoring for attention, after all.
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Old 04-14-2021, 03:45 PM   #20
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That makes me abnormal (not the first time). I felt absolutely no anxiety approaching my escape from Megacorp (over three decades worth).
It's OK to be Abby Normal sometimes!

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