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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 18,085
A slight awkward moment this morning:
We drop the kids off at school by walking there every morning. Most days we have the dogs with us and then go on a 3 to 5 mile walk on the local trails. Today one of the other parents said to me, "I see you guys on the trail almost every morning, what do you do for a living?" <gulp> I responded that DW is in private practice out of the house and that I quit my job with the notion of taking a year off, but that I am foreshortening the year by a few months because I am starting a contract consulting gig that is expected to last a year.
I think he was genuinely curious because he is one of the few able-bodied men between 25 and 55 beside myself who is regularly seen at liberty during working hours. Based on his response I think he took my answer about myself to mean that I was running out of money and had to find some work. No real reason to correct that assumption, and I bet I hear nothing further since I satisfied his curiosity.
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"All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 13,566
Or as Jimmy Buffett said...15 will get you 20!
Jailbait here is anyone under 18, if you are over 18.
Wise for you to ignore her request for marriage, Andre!
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“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.”
Gerard Arthur Way
Or as Jimmy Buffett said...15 will get you 20!
Jailbait here is anyone under 18, if you are over 18.
Wise for you to ignore her request for marriage, Andre!
I remember a commercial for "Little House on the Prairie" on TVLand awhile back, where the announcer said "Welcome to Walnut Grover, where everybody is friendly", and they cut to various scenes of the townspeople saying nice, friendly things. But then they cut to Charles Ingalls saying something along the lines of "You can have her when she's 15. Until then she's MINE!"
And the announcer follows up with "Maybe a little TOO friendly!"
There is a difference between changing/upgrading one's lifestyle upon receiving a sudden windfall and changing one's core values and outlook on life. I think that if one's core values "change" for the worse because of new wealth, then those values were not real to begin with or at least not firmly in place--they were not the person you thought they were.
Having a chum who you can preach to the choir with, etc. is great. Does it matter that they have a fancy-er car than before? If it does than either the friend or the person himself are not being their genuine self.
I've felt a bit of this. I sold a business and made a nice windfall. We bought a vacation home on the beach. I RE'ed. We took a 1 year sailing trip with our school-aged kids. But I still drive the same (now) 9 year old car. Kids still go to the same public schools, etc. We're the same people as before but with more free time and a nice vacation rental (that we rarely mention). Some friends and family must have become uncomfortable because they have distanced themselves. Others are fine with it. I say that is their internal issue to deal with, their insecurities showing.
I have had some friends and family distance themselves from me once I became far more financially successful than they are. I try hard not to think about them. These are people that should not be in your life.
I have had some friends and family distance themselves from me once I became far more financially successful than they are. I try hard not to think about them. These are people that should not be in your life.
Stuff like this is one reason why I try not to talk too much about my finances. About a year and a half ago, one of my friends, who makes a lot of money but isn't good with budgeting, asked me about investing, planning for retirement, etc. I told him that one thing he definitely needs to do is check his asset allocation and rebalance if necessary. At the time, I trusted this guy enough that we ended up having a "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" moments. Well, turns out mine was about 2.7x bigger than his, despite him making about twice what I make, and being about 5 years older, having a master's degree to my bachelor's, etc.
Almost immediately, there was a change in him. He'd always had an air of snobbery about him. He would try his damndest to keep it in check with me, but sometimes I would still get the sense that he thought he was "superior" to me, somehow. But, once we had that little financial unveiling, his whole attitude changed, and he started showing resentment towards me, like it wasn't fair that I had more than him.
I used to call him "Maude" because he was sort of a limousine liberal. He would carry on about unemployment and income inequality, and how Social Security should be expanded and minimum wage raised, and the tax base broadened, but then hire a couple of Latinos from the Home Depot parking lot to do build a fence for him, and arguing on price and trying to pay them as little as possible, nevermind the fact that in doing so, they're not paying income tax or social security on that income, and potentially keeping another person out of work (someone who, while charging more, would be paying into SS and taxes at least).
Anyway, he just got more and more annoying and resentful, and just a pain to be around, so I distanced myself and eventually ended the friendship.
Self imposed feelings on my part. The more I think about it, "A" probably didn't give my question much further thought. She probably went back to breaking boxes, sorting inventory, and thinking whatever thoughts she was thinking before I asked her a quick question about fish eggs.
Well, it sure spiked some commentary here!
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Co-author (with my daughter) of “Raising Your Money-Savvy Family For Next Generation Financial Independence.”
Author of the book written on E-R.org: "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement."
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I think this is true for so much of how we view things. We view everything thru the lens of "me". Others do the same. Its shocking the things we concern our selves with that matter not at all to others and the things we ignore that others take great umbrage with.
I think this is true for so much of how we view things. We view everything thru the lens of "me". Others do the same. Its shocking the things we concern our selves with that matter not at all to others and the things we ignore that others take great umbrage with.
No man really knows about other human beings. The best he can do is to suppose that they are like himself
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 7,746
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nords
Well, it sure spiked some commentary here!
Yeah, it's funny because she probably doesn't even recall that I asked about anything in the store. The "where's da caviar?" conversation was maybe 10 seconds long. The "hey, how are you doing? How's the kids? How is your little one liking first grade, etc" conversation took a lot longer and probably was what she would remember of our interaction that day.
I still think about this thread when I see her or her husband walking by me or at school picking up kids.
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Retired in 2013 at age 33. Keeping busy reading, blogging, relaxing, gaming, and enjoying the outdoors with my wife and 3 kids (8, 13, and 15).
No man really knows about other human beings. The best he can do is to suppose that they are like himself
If I ever meet another that is in total agreeement with my every thought--one of the two of us is a waste of space. We probably disagree on which of us that is...
I tend to agree. Never understood the obsession with cars.
Guilty on this one. I've never cared what others drive, but I love cars and always will. I'll always be the guy that people look at and see wasted money on nice cars. I've actually thought about debadging one or two just to say "I didn't buy this for the brand name."
As my wife and I always say, everyone has "their thing", be it travel, music, art, experiences, etc.
Mine will always be cars. The thought the self-driving car makes me very sad...
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“If you don't do it this year, you will be one year older when you do.” - Warren Miller
If I ever meet another that is in total agreeement with my every thought--one of the two of us is a waste of space. We probably disagree on which of us that is...
It was my way of doing +1... really compliment on your thoughts.
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Northern IL
Posts: 25,820
Quote:
Originally Posted by brewer12345
I tend to agree. Never understood the obsession with cars.
I'm sorta in-between on this. I love the technology of cars, the history and aesthetics, and I do read up and follow car stuff. And like boats, if a friend has one and wants to take me for a ride, great!
But as far as what I own, I just want something to get me from point A-B in relative comfort and safety.
BIL always has the cars with a badge, although always 'pre owned'. For me driving one would be great and all that, except for being the centre of attention, as our area is somewhat repressed. That will be awkward.
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 11,719
And I'm sad because I will probably be too old before they get all the self-driving car technology and infrastructure working properly.
And positively p'd off because there has been no progress whatsoever toward affordable, efficient robot housemaids (Roombas do not count, I want a robot that cleans toilets without being asked and keeps on top of the dusting too!).
I do like nice cars, though.
Amethyst
Quote:
Originally Posted by Willers
G The thought the self-driving car makes me very sad...
__________________ If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis 'There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.’ Christopher Morley.
Even a blind clock finds an acorn twice a day.
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