Brother incredulous to early retirement

[RetirementColdHardTruth]

My parents were what we call Aussie Battlers. Basically eaking out an existence on the lowest run of the middle class in Australia. Growing up was tough and I could tell from a young age that money was important for having a low stress life. Now they put everything into some farm land and from about 10 years of age I lived there until coming to America in the technical field in 1994.

As soon as I left my parents decided to take early retirement. They used their funds to pay off the mortgage and buy a couple new cars that have so far lasted forever due to the low travel lifestyle they live.

They grow some vegetables to keep the food bills down and live a very simple existence with mo debt. My aunts and uncles always put my parents down for living the simple farming life. They bought big houses on canals, expensive 4 wheel drive cars every few years and boats for the weekend on their very own 70k dock.

The funny thing is all the aunts and uncles are still working and still paying off debt. They can't afford to use the boat because gas is at $6 a gallon and the boat burns about 10 gallons an hour. So it sits there while they are off to work to pay for it.

My last trip down under I had the conversation with them about retirement. They all said they will have to work until they die. Funny how a frugal lifestyle is frowned upon, yet who really has enjoyment in life.

Relatives are funny beasts. I have found that everyone is on their own path and should live the way they want too. I didn't bring up the fact that I would be retiring in a few years myself, as it would have been super uncomfortable to say such a non-accepted thing.

I let it slip once in early 2009 that people had no right being 100% in the market at 60 if they had any chance of retiring. That was a really bad thing to say as they all stated I knew nothing and that they too had lost significant savings in the market. It was at that time I realized it is time to live and let live. I am glad for this site as it allows me to express my frugal lifestyle and savings plans with ridicule.

Thanks for everyones openness. I think I have found my true family right here. Pity you can't pick who your family is.

[youbet]

Quote:

Originally Posted by accountingsucks I've never really shared my ER plans with family until visiting my brother and family over Christmas.

Gosh, all that time of doing the right thing and not sharing ER plans with family and you blew it while visiting your brother and family at Christmas. Sigh....... Everyone has to learn the hard way I guess.

What did you possibly think there was to be gained by bringing up finances, life style choices, and so on? Maybe next time try something easy to talk about like religion or politics!

[youbet]

Quote:

Originally Posted by crispus My sister claims that I am abandoning the family and don't love them, and that she will be responsible for everyone. She makes a great living around 300k.

Sis needs to make it clear that she isn't going to be responsible for your parents alone, cut off the $200/mo she currently gives them and suggest that if you or any other sibs are concerned, a family meeting should occur to work out how expenses will be split. Just because Sis does what it takes to make big bux is no reason she should shoulder any more of a share of parental responsibilities.

If Sis winds up being "responsible for everyone," it's her own fault for simply failing to make the decision to walk away. And walking away is indeed what she needs to do.

[crispus]

Quote:

Sis needs to make it clear that she isn't going to be responsible for your parents alone, cut off the $200/mo she currently gives them and suggest that if you or any other sibs are concerned, a family meeting should occur to work out how expenses will be split. Just because Sis does what it takes to make big bux is no reason she should shoulder any more of a share of parental responsibilities. If Sis winds up being "responsible for everyone," it's her own fault for simply failing to make the decision to walk away. And walking away is indeed what she needs to do.

That is her choice. My parents asked both of us to give them money. If it had been an emergency my DW and I would have helped, but they live a big life. We have always been frugal, choosing to retire early rather then work. My parents live large and have a very active social life even though they are in their 80's. My sister was already paying for season tickets to the theatre, and now the extra $200 helps them keep up golf and restaurant activities. Look as you said its her choice. When one of my parents dies, then the reduced SS will make living in their condo unaffordable. We will have to make some hard choices then. One choice could be letting the surviving parent to live with us. My sister and I will have to have a meeting if and when this happens. Hopefully not for another decade. Longevity runs in my family.