Dad are we rich?

[JG in Hangzhou]

When I said to my daughter "we are richer than many of the people in the world, but we are not filthy rich", my wife replied, as if on cue, "What's filthy rich?" where I added "we are not rich enough to waste our money."

[brucethebroker]

One of my kids asked at about age 10. We said "Yes, we are rich with love."

[ohyes]

When I was around ten years old, I was looking through the program of my dad's high school reunion. I could not believe someone else had been identified as Most Successful and asked my father for an explanation. He responded with something along the lines of, "Success means different things to different people. I think I am the most successful because of my family that I love so much."

I know that is not the same as Are we rich?, but I have remembered and treasured those words from my father - a rice and soybean farmer. Makes me smile each time it pops up in my mind.

(I, too, think you did a good job with your answer to your daughter.)

[Texas Proud]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2017ish All depends upon your neighbors. Our one-lane country street has 8 mailboxes. 5 of them belong to doublewide trailers (some nice, some not; all on an acre or more). 2 to unrelated families who own construction companies and 80-100 acres each on our road. The last to a doctor/lawyer couple with 25 acres (us). When they learn of our retirement, some of our neighbors will almost certainly see us as rich, if they don't already. The other two will just wonder why one would want to quit making money and running up the score. Basically, we don't worry about it. (If we did, I suspect we'd be living in a different neighborhood?)

Yea, the other problem is that you can be land poor... my old boss some years makes between $300 and $400K.... but he runs out of money to keep his 220 acre ranch and timber running... his cattle operation takes at least $100K every year.... a good amount for the loans.... he also gives big time to the church...


He is stretched thin when the total income is just over $100K which has happened twice in the last 9 years....

Now, he is rich since he has land that could probably sell for $5 to $15 million... and over half of a company that can sell for $5 to $10 million.... but cash poor....

[GravitySucks]

Quote:

Originally Posted by travelover I get the same question from my wife. (Except she doesn't call me "Dad")

I got the same question from a girlfriend. (Except she did call me Daddy.)

[Scuba]

Quote:

Originally Posted by REWahoo When one of my kids asked that question my response was, "No, your mom and I are comfortable. You and your sister are poor."

[emoji23]

[bingybear]

we're definitely rich... your rich if you have your health! ... wait.... pacemaker ... hmmm .. definitely not rich!
rich in a monetary sense has both good and bad connotations and it really so subjective. Rich often is someone who has better toys, lives in a larger/nicer house or wears better clothes.

I don't really use the term "rich" in defining us... that is I don't consider us rich or not rich.
I did have a kid (collage age at the time) wondering how finances were going when DW had been out of work for 2 years and it late Autumn in 2008. I just told him we'll make it work and not to worry. His question was not the "are we rich". I think they figured we were not since most of the kids at school had latest video games and other signs of disposable income when they were in grade school.

[dallas27]

I take the perspective that even bankrupt folks in america are very rich relative to the world stage. A question like that would have me delve into how hard so many others have it and how we have at least some duty or responsibility to help others in some small way. Any "richness" I have is pointless if it doesn't do anyone any good.

[jollystomper]

Quote:

Originally Posted by W2R Oh, and once a week we had to eat liver.

Yeah, us too... sometimes twice a week. I knew I was "rich" when I could choose not to eat liver anyone.

[dvalley]

Quote:

Originally Posted by HadEnuff It reminds me of a bit on one of Tim Allens's shows. His daughter has made some outlandishly expensive request which has been denied by Tim. She gets panicky and asks "Oh my god!! Are we poor??" To which he responds, "Well, you are poor. Your mom and I are doing fine."

LOL

[OddGuy]

I posed the same question at the same age.

The answer I received was, "We're rich in the ways that matter. We're rich in love and family and friends and laughter."

Which I translated as, "We're wealthy, and I'm uncomfortable acknowledging that to you."

I was correct.

[Sunset]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Winemaker Once a month, I savor the liver from our annual Black Angus beef. Marinated in milk for 24 hour minimum, then flash cooked on the grill with a large sweet onion. I'll stretch a pound out a week for my lunch. Not poor here.

Well that sounds a lot better than the baked dry liver, slighty curled up on my plate when Mom would serve us liver, she did cook some onions in a fry pan so we could cover over the dry liver taste as we gnawed on it.

The dog was always happy on liver night

[Sunset]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jollystomper Yeah, us too... sometimes twice a week. I knew I was "rich" when I could choose not to eat liver anyone.

Actually I felt I was becoming a success when I could go into a restaurant and order liver.

I was able to risk ordering something I might not like, because I knew I could just order another thing, or eat at another restaurant the same week.

[Gumby]

Quote:

Originally Posted by aja8888 When I was 12, I knew we were poor and didn't have to ask any questions.

Same here. The thing that makes me feel richest now is simply the ability to walk into the grocery store and buy anything that looks tasty, without knowing or caring how much it cost. That was most certainly not the case when I was young.

PS -- we have no children, so I don't know how I would respond. Sounds like the OP had it just about right, though.

[copyright1997reloaded]

When my son asked me that question (probably somewhere around 12), I responded:
Do you get to eat when you are hungry? Answer: Yes
Do you get to sleep in a bed in a house, and not outside (well, except when we are camping)? Answer: Yes
Do you have clothes to wear to keep you warm in the winter? Answer: Yes
Are you able to go to the doctor when you are sick and get medicine if needed? Answer: yes.
Do you have parents who love you? Answer: Yes
Then yes you are rich. Everything else is meaningless.

[travelover]

Quote:

Originally Posted by copyright1997reloaded ......... Everything else is meaningless.

I've PMed you my address. Please send me a check for all the meaningless excess.

[spncity]

Can't vouch for the stats, but I get the idea.

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[rodi]

I agree it's a teachable moment. I have had similar conversations with my teens. I usually explain we have "enough" if we watch what we spend. I point out we're "rich enough" for me to have retired at age 52. I point out we live in a nice neighborhood in a paid off house. And I point out that we have money saved for them to get a bachelor's degree at a public university. But they also know I pay attention to how much we spend... I cap off their data plans on their phones because I'm cheap. That we try to find the balance between consumerism and cheapness... leaning towards the cheap side of the spectrum.

[iloveyoga]

I describe it as I don't have to worry about money after quite a few years of doing so.

[FUEGO]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rodi But they also know I pay attention to how much we spend... I cap off their data plans on their phones because I'm cheap. That we try to find the balance between consumerism and cheapness... leaning towards the cheap side of the spectrum.

Same here. I've offered to let my daughter pay the $8/month for unlimited texts (instead of free using an app ). I suppose if data is ever an issue she could pay the $25/month to upgrade to unlimited data. She has plenty of money from b-days, Christmas, random chores, etc so that if she really really wants to spend the money she can.

It's really no different for her as a 12 year old than it is for all of us adults. We all have to decide on money trade offs to buy up for quality or quantity. You want premium in life, you pay for premium. But good enough often gets the job done and usually costs a lot less.