Dear Abby doesn't get FIRE

[Spanky]

Quote:

I did things my way and can afford to retire now, so why can't my friends keep their mouths shut and let me enjoy what I have worked for?

What kind of response does "ready-to-retire" expect? A better question is "how do I deal with my friends about ER?"

[NW-Bound]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spanky ... "how do I deal with my friends about ER?"...

Find new friends who also ER'ed?

[Alan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by truenorth418 Where Dear Abby failed the OP was that she offered no useful advice regarding how he should deal with all the naysayers around him. Whether he visits another financial advisor or not, he still needs to address the social and family considerations, whether they are motivated by jealousy or genuine concern.

+1


He had run his numbers, consulted a financial planner, and is now more concerned with dealing the social issues of retiring early at age 62.

[Independent]

Abby used two sentences to say that she couldn't answer the question (Why do my friends ...?). She should have stopped there. Since she couldn't answer, maybe she should have printed some other letter.

When I used to read Ann Landers, I noticed that her go-to answer was always "consult and expert". That's safe and doesn't get you sued. But, in this case, the reader had already consulted an expert. I don't see any value in the "second opinion", as I agree that someone who is financially adept enough to live modestly and save probably has some DIY credentials.

But, the real problem is the last sentence. Abby starts opining on something she has already said is better left to the experts. Abby doesn't know if the reader will have a long, healthy life or if she'll be dead in a couple years. The retirement decision is about trade-offs. If Abby isn't willing to talk about both the pros and cons, she shouldn't start talking at all.

[Midpack]

I don't see anything wrong with the question or the answer - general answer to a general question. It would be irresponsible if Abby had suggested anything other than a second/third opinion and erred on the side of waiting a few years, since she didn't have any numbers to work with. What's she going to say, 'go for it' with no real factual basis?

However, to me the real question is why READY is still worried about what other people think to begin with? Asking other/strangers how to deal with naysayers is kinda lame IMO at age 62, should've grown out of that quite a while ago. YMMV

[fritz]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spanky What kind of response does "ready-to-retire" expect? A better question is "how do I deal with my friends about ER?"

"I did things my way and can afford to retire now, so why can't my friends keep their mouths shut and let me enjoy what I have worked for?"

I thought this came off as more of a rant, using an advice column to chastise his friends , and that he was not really looking for an answer.

[Shawn]

I wonder how Dear Abby would respond if READY TO RETIRE was 70 instead of 62. Objectively, Abby's advice should be the same since the ability to retire is not specifically tied to age. However, I speculate that Dear Abby would respond more like ... "Don't worry about what your friends and family say. Feel free to retire if this is what you want and your financial professional believes this is appropriate. You have worked hard. You deserve to enjoy this next phase of life." Instead, Dear Abby's specific advice appears to be tied more to READY's relatively young age, as opposed to a proper course of action applicable to anyone.

[Spanky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NW-Bound Find new friends who also ER'ed?

That's a good one!

[Spanky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by fritz "I did things my way and can afford to retire now, so why can't my friends keep their mouths shut and let me enjoy what I have worked for?" I thought this came off as more of a rant, using an advice column to chastise his friends , and that he was not really looking for an answer.

You might be right that he's not really looking for an advice after all.

[Spanky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawn I wonder how Dear Abby would respond if READY TO RETIRE was 70 instead of 62. Objectively, Abby's advice should be the same since the ability to retire is not specifically tied to age. However, I speculate that Dear Abby would respond more like ... "Don't worry about what your friends and family say. Feel free to retire if this is what you want and your financial professional believes this is appropriate. You have worked hard. You deserve to enjoy this next phase of life." Instead, Dear Abby's specific advice appears to be tied more to READY's relatively young age, as opposed to a proper course of action applicable to anyone.

good answer - do what you want to do regardless of remarks from others.

[Running_Man]

I think Abby took his question the same way I take his question. He is obviously annoyed by all the comments that he is crazy to retire. If he was truly confident in his decision other people's opinion on his retirement would not bother him so much that he would write to Abby. Also since he is already 62 it is not that unusual to retire at that age so perhaps his friends are genuinly concerned for good reason.

With those same minimal facts I would reccomend the same thing as Abby did, get a second opinion to validate your thoughts on retirement because it appears to me you are uncomfortable with this idea when you should not be. There are far more people who retire because they are tired of work without enough money thinking they have more than they need than who truly have everything covered. I think Abby's answer was insightful in a non-demeaning way of communicating true concern

[Spanky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Running_Man With those same minimal facts I would reccomend the same thing as Abby did, get a second opinion to validate your thoughts on retirement because it appears to me you are uncomfortable with this idea when you should not be. .. I think Abby's answer was insightful in a non-demeaning way of communicating true concern

Getting a second opinion from an adviser is a safe or generic advice. It does not address the concerns of "READY TO RETIRE" who seems to be looking for ways to deal with friends and not interested in another opinion or doubts similar to those of their friends.

If I were in his/her situation, I would say that I appreciate their concerns but have decided to start a new chapter of my life - to do all the things that I want to do now instead of later and have thought about it long and hard and weighted the pros and cons carefully. I will not feel guilty of letting them down because I have my own life to live and do not need their approval. It's hoped they would accept and respect my decision.

[mickeyd]

Abigail Van Buren (Dear Abby) died years ago so I question any current advice that she dishes out from the grave.