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Old 08-19-2017, 07:02 AM   #41
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Thank you all so much for the comments. I feel better just discussing the situation. I am going to take a few days to absorb all this information and then try to come up with a plan. I can already feel the bones of the plan developing.
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Old 08-19-2017, 07:37 AM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantwaitanylonger View Post
I think my depression is from a combination of the following:
1) Feeling of uselessness (nobody wants me)
2) Feeling of anger (how could they do this to me)
3) Feeling of helplessness (why won't anyone hire me)
4) Concern over finances
5) Concern that I will need to give up my dream house
6) Concern over quality of health care that I can afford
7) Some concern over what others think of me (that loser lost his job)
8) Feeling that I have let down my wife and kids
Did you have any issues over depression before you lost your job?

What were your plans for retirement before you lost your job?

You keep referring to your wife's SS..are your eligible on your own or for a spousal benefit?

I don't know how many hours a week your spouse works for the 800 a month but she might look for a different job with higher pay more hours..her wage doesn't even cover the prop tax on your lake home..

Were the victim of a system wide layoff or a targeted layoff..if it was targeted poke around and see if you have a case for age discrimination.

I mean you can drive Uber if you need to. You've got a lot of hand wringing going on here if you need to spend some money on counseling just grit your teeth and do it.
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Old 08-19-2017, 07:40 AM   #43
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Originally Posted by Cantwaitanylonger View Post
While at work, I dreamed constantly about ER. Now, though, I am very depressed over losing my job.

Anyone want to give me some hope or advice?
Have you sought professional help for your depression? That's not uncommon when hit with major life events. Counselling might help.
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Old 08-19-2017, 07:41 AM   #44
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Well, I just ran firecalc using 35 years, 70K income, 850k starting, 12K duplex income, 10K wifes income, and taking SS at 62, wife is 5 years younger so she takes it when I am 67.

I added no income from me (very conservative, I will make money). Outcome is 100% success with average final balance of 2.9 million. I didn't include the $$ (400-500K) from downsizing my house or a probable inheritance of about 500K in 10 years.

I don't know if I am missing something but this looks very positive!!
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Old 08-19-2017, 07:45 AM   #45
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Personally I think you should put the job search thing on the shelf for 6 months.

Take a "fun" vacation or do something to celebrate having experienced - a successful career.

Also, many people do not like their jobs and stay because they have to. You, on the other hand, liked your job so much that your depressed because you can't be their anymore.

I tell you this - because I have woken from a self induced coma where I have really hated my job for 8 years. Every task in my department is made extremely complicated (of course, State Govt.) that it is just ever so frustrating to go into the office. Salary and benefits are fine but 8 hours a day of constant frustration and aggravation wears on you.

My Agency is offering voluntary buyouts (for a select few) and I'm putting my name in the hat to get the buyout/severance. If I don't get it, I've made the decision to leave anyway.

I'm jealous of your situation as it sounds like you really enjoyed your work and the organization. Be grateful and use this time for a healthy break.

Michael
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Old 08-19-2017, 07:47 AM   #46
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Originally Posted by Cantwaitanylonger View Post
Well, I just ran firecalc using 35 years, 70K income, 850k starting, 12K duplex income, 10K wifes income, and taking SS at 62, wife is 5 years younger so she takes it when I am 67.

I added no income from me (very conservative, I will make money). Outcome is 100% success with average final balance of 2.9 million. I didn't include the $$ (400-500K) from downsizing my house or a probable inheritance of about 500K in 10 years.

I don't know if I am missing something but this looks very positive!!
Beautiful. Looks like you've got it knocked. Now, whatever you do find for work from now until YOU decide you are ready to retire, is gravy.
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Old 08-19-2017, 07:49 AM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantwaitanylonger View Post
Well, I just ran firecalc using 35 years, 70K income, 850k starting, 12K duplex income, 10K wifes income, and taking SS at 62, wife is 5 years younger so she takes it when I am 67.

I added no income from me (very conservative, I will make money). Outcome is 100% success with average final balance of 2.9 million. I didn't include the $$ (400-500K) from downsizing my house or a probable inheritance of about 500K in 10 years.

I don't know if I am missing something but this looks very positive!!
That's good, but what number did you use for health care until you hit 65? At medicare a couple can still pay around 500-600 total a month for good coverage.

Did you raise the amount of your Prop Tax, no way that will stay stable. It's good to relax a little bit and see that your situation is not as dire as you thought. How about spending a few of those bucks for counseling now so you can cut this depression off at the pass and start to relax on the path to retirement. I live in MN and I know lakeshore can very rapidly turn into a very expensive drain on the pocketbook.
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Old 08-19-2017, 07:50 AM   #48
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Originally Posted by Cantwaitanylonger View Post
My former employer offered nothing. I have a high deductible cobra plan. The first 14k is on me so I don't want to spend $$ on a doctor.
You can shell out enough out of pocket for a simple office visit. That might be all it takes to jump start you into the next chapter in your life. You might be just a pill away from much more happiness.
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Old 08-19-2017, 07:50 AM   #49
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Best advise here is to seek help first for depression. Until you can think rationally and clearly, no decisions should be made. I've been there and sought counseling. It makes a world of difference. Do it now!
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Old 08-19-2017, 07:53 AM   #50
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You can shell out enough out of pocket for a simple office visit. That might be all it takes to jump start you into the next chapter in your life. You might be just a pill away from much more happiness.
So true I have an example of depression in my extended family and she sometimes uses every excuse in the book not to seek treatment. But pay for a regular physiatrist, sometime true situational depression does not need a pill a day,OTOHif there is another underlying issue that might be the right call.
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Old 08-19-2017, 08:07 AM   #51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantwaitanylonger View Post
Well, I just ran firecalc using 35 years, 70K income, 850k starting, 12K duplex income, 10K wifes income, and taking SS at 62, wife is 5 years younger so she takes it when I am 67.

I added no income from me (very conservative, I will make money). Outcome is 100% success with average final balance of 2.9 million. I didn't include the $$ (400-500K) from downsizing my house or a probable inheritance of about 500K in 10 years.

I don't know if I am missing something but this looks very positive!!
Thanks for running Firecalc and posting your positive results.

Hopefully, this might help relieve some of your depression wrt finances.

From your more recent posts, I'm getting the sense that you are starting to possibly see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. That, and taking baby steps, one foot in front of the other, will hopefully propel you into a brighter future. Instead of seeing you as a loser, others may be jealous that you were able to quit the rat race so young.


omni
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Old 08-19-2017, 08:18 AM   #52
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So many questions and so much good advice. Thank you all so much.

I have (approximately) accounted for health care and taxes by upping my income needs to 70K. I really only need 50K to live. I also did not include and income from myself....I will make money.

I am going to give it a week or two more to address the depression. Part of it has already lifted by talking to you great people. Another part is lifted by running firecalc.

Comments like this help (and others like it)immensely:
I'm jealous of your situation as it sounds like you really enjoyed your work and the organization. Be grateful and use this time for a healthy break.


I am generally a happy-go-lucky, glass half full, count your blessings type of person. That is why the depression thing took me by surprise. I always thought I could handle this with no problem.
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Old 08-19-2017, 08:21 AM   #53
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Thank you for this post. It is actually bringing tears to my eyes.


Quote:
Originally Posted by omni550 View Post
Thanks for running Firecalc and posting your positive results.

Hopefully, this might help relieve some of your depression wrt finances.

From your more recent posts, I'm getting the sense that you are starting to possibly see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. That, and taking baby steps, one foot in front of the other, will hopefully propel you into a brighter future. Instead of seeing you as a loser, others may be jealous that you were able to quit the rat race so young.


omni
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Old 08-19-2017, 08:29 AM   #54
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To answer some of your questions, I have never had issues with depression.My plans were to work until 59.5 and start tapping 401K until FRA. I will receive full SS and my wife will get 50% spousal 5 years later. My wife has her own small business and she probably won't make more money or take another job. I called several attorneys and they didn't think I had an age case.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ivinsfan View Post
Did you have any issues over depression before you lost your job?

What were your plans for retirement before you lost your job?

You keep referring to your wife's SS..are your eligible on your own or for a spousal benefit?

I don't know how many hours a week your spouse works for the 800 a month but she might look for a different job with higher pay more hours..her wage doesn't even cover the prop tax on your lake home..

Were the victim of a system wide layoff or a targeted layoff..if it was targeted poke around and see if you have a case for age discrimination.

I mean you can drive Uber if you need to. You've got a lot of hand wringing going on here if you need to spend some money on counseling just grit your teeth and do it.
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Old 08-19-2017, 08:33 AM   #55
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All natural feelings that anyone might have. For No. 8, though, you can defer 100% to logic. You haven't let anybody down, because you did not do anything to be let go. It would be like saying "That meteorite fell on my house! Now my roof is ruined, and it's all my fault!"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantwaitanylonger View Post
I think my depression is from a combination of the following:
1) Feeling of uselessness (nobody wants me)
2) Feeling of anger (how could they do this to me)
3) Feeling of helplessness (why won't anyone hire me)
4) Concern over finances
5) Concern that I will need to give up my dream house
6) Concern over quality of health care that I can afford
7) Some concern over what others think of me (that loser lost his job)
8) Feeling that I have let down my wife and kids
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Old 08-19-2017, 08:42 AM   #56
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First of all there isn't much more advice that I could offer than everyone has contributed alaready. Sounds like you are making very sound decisions now. Wow once again this is a great site!!
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Old 08-19-2017, 08:54 AM   #57
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I would also use Fidelity's Retirement planner as further verification.

You seem in good shape to me.
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Old 08-19-2017, 09:06 AM   #58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantwaitanylonger View Post
I think my depression is from a combination of the following:
1) Feeling of uselessness (nobody wants me)
2) Feeling of anger (how could they do this to me)
3) Feeling of helplessness (why won't anyone hire me)
4) Concern over finances
5) Concern that I will need to give up my dream house
6) Concern over quality of health care that I can afford
7) Some concern over what others think of me (that loser lost his job)
8) Feeling that I have let down my wife and kids
Pretty normal feelings for someone facing involuntary unemployment - I had all of those feelings when I was unexpectedly laid off during the dotcom meltdown. Daily exercise and keeping busy helped to clear up my head.

It looks like you had planned to retire at 59.5, only two years from now. So you must have been pretty well prepared for retirement by the time you lost your job (financially and psychologically). Minor adjustments might be necessary to account for your earlier than expected exit, but I think that if you take a step back you will realize that you have this under control.
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Old 08-19-2017, 09:09 AM   #59
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Plenty of good advice here to build a good base of confidence and safety for the future. Looks like you're good to go...

No advice from me except to encourage continued "looking" for the possibilities and to relax.

In a similar situation, but career cut short by health considerations, DW and I retired at age 53, with a very small percent of your net worth. Currently feel safe and happy 28 years later. Sometimes, looking at actual situations, with real money and real people, helps with understanding the numbers that come from calculators or spreadsheets. The details of what happens, and what can happen, allows for a wider perspective. While it sounds scary, looking at real life scenarios is preparation for the unexpected. I guess the word is "calming".

Not as advice, but if you haven't been there, you might wanna peek at this older thread on ER for a not entirely dissimilar experience of unexpected early retirement. "Sharing 23 years of frugal retirement".

Definitely not your situation, but a dip into things that happen, with all of the smart things and the many, many dumb things that occurred along the way.

Best wishes for a happy "next 40 years".
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Old 08-19-2017, 09:17 AM   #60
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Hey there - sorry about the job situation. It sucks when it's not on your own terms and probably the most hurtful, a punch to the belly in some sense. As others have said, count your blessings. A simple blessing is, my Dad never saw 57, he passed away in his 40's. He wasn't on earth to see my accomplishments, so schedule something with your family...end of summer gathering picnic. Take the family and go for a leisure drive and walk/hike before summer slips away this year. Make the best of it now.

It sounds like you are doing all the right things, i.e no quick decisions to sell your dream house, taking inventory of things that matter, check your numbers, perform some deferred maintenance around the house, etc.

As far as employment, explore contract work. Sign up for a few agencies... network with any of the part timers or contractors that your prior employer might of used. If you want handyman work and can be reliable, you will be in demand. When I called around for a handyman in St Paul, the first 3 could never show up on the day/time they tell me.

Lastly, if you were counting down to age 59.5 to have penalty free access to your retirement accounts, you are very very close and that's around the corner. Don't worry so much about FRA or the next 30 years. Make lemonade with the lemons, relax and know it's not that bad. Good luck.
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