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Old 08-19-2017, 09:19 AM   #61
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First of all, it is normal to be feeling depressed after being laid off. (You may see a few people here who are happy about, but that is usually when it falls directly in with their plans.)

Secondly, you have only been out of work for one month. That is a very short period of time. It is possible to to get another job - you don't need to make the same money as before, just cover those property taxes and a bit more if you want to stay in the dream home.

Thirdly, you will be ok no matter what.

Fourthly, you will be able to make money as a handyman (why don't you pick up sporadic jobs now while your still hunting for a full time job.

Fifthly, you have rental income.

Sixthly, you have be able to withdraw from your 401(k) without penalty (see 72(t).

Seventh, you do have the option to rent out part or all of your dream home for a years or two, if you are unsure of selling it.

Eighth, during the time period that your income is down, you should be eligible for additional government benefits.

Ninth, you have let no one down. You have worked hard for years, been a good provider, husband and father. It was completely out of your control, and basically only 2 1/2 years before schedule.

Tenth, Good luck!
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Old 08-19-2017, 09:26 AM   #62
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Thank you for this. Are there any government benefits are available besides unemployment and ACA?


Quote:
Originally Posted by MarieIG View Post
First of all, it is normal to be feeling depressed after being laid off. (You may see a few people here who are happy about, but that is usually when it falls directly in with their plans.)

Secondly, you have only been out of work for one month. That is a very short period of time. It is possible to to get another job - you don't need to make the same money as before, just cover those property taxes and a bit more if you want to stay in the dream home.

Thirdly, you will be ok no matter what.

Fourthly, you will be able to make money as a handyman (why don't you pick up sporadic jobs now while your still hunting for a full time job.

Fifthly, you have rental income.

Sixthly, you have be able to withdraw from your 401(k) without penalty (see 72(t).

Seventh, you do have the option to rent out part or all of your dream home for a years or two, if you are unsure of selling it.

Eighth, during the time period that your income is down, you should be eligible for additional government benefits.

Ninth, you have let no one down. You have worked hard for years, been a good provider, husband and father. It was completely out of your control, and basically only 2 1/2 years before schedule.

Tenth, Good luck!
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Old 08-19-2017, 09:37 AM   #63
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OP: Firstly I can empathize with you, and hope you work it out (feeling depressed). I had the same thing happen to me once, but looked at it a different way as we wanted to ER early and we needed a swift kick to stop the procrastinating, we took it as the swift kick (Glass Half Full instead of empty). Like you we had some investments but not as much as we would have liked. We downsized (from and expense perspective) and took some time to think about what we wanted to do. IMHO one of the things you need to do is get rid of that 12k RE Tax. That would reduce the stress, while the rental is paying for it, you are not net positive, so at least selling the rental may be an option, and it would provide a buffer for the near future.

Then write down the options you and DW would be happy with and go from there.
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Old 08-19-2017, 09:50 AM   #64
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Not much to add to others good advice. You have come to a great side to get advice. If you are getting a 100% success rate on FireCalc then you are good to go as long as your assumptions are realistic and you have entered the data into the tool correctly (garbage in = garbage out)... Inflation + HC costs are probably your biggest variable so make sure you give yourself a good buffer to make adjustments down the road. If you are using the CPI setting as your inflation rate for FireCalc it probably is not conservative enough to account for increasing HC costs over 35 years. You may want to use 3.5%-4% inflation rate and re-run tool to see what you get. If you plan to take SS at 62 keep in mind that if you go back to w*rk you need to stay under the income (w2) level to avoid tax penalty on your SS benefits. I understand the lake house is your dream house, but I would have a exit plan in place if things do not go as plan. It would make me nervous to have a house that is equal to what I have in my 401K. Do not let your emotional attachment to the house crater your retirement plan. You and your wife need to agree on a exit plan to down size before it impacts your plan. Just my 2 cents.. As far as the depression, it sounds like you were (are) a positive and successful person and this unexpected detour that life has delivered you just took you by surprise. As long as you keep family and friends close to you for support you should be fine. Everyone has moments of depression, but just make sure it does not consume you and listen to your family and friends if they think you need to seek help.
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Old 08-19-2017, 09:53 AM   #65
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarieIG View Post
First of all, it is normal to be feeling depressed after being laid off. (You may see a few people here who are happy about, but that is usually when it falls directly in with their plans.)



Secondly, you have only been out of work for one month. That is a very short period of time. It is possible to to get another job - you don't need to make the same money as before, just cover those property taxes and a bit more if you want to stay in the dream home.



Thirdly, you will be ok no matter what.



Fourthly, you will be able to make money as a handyman (why don't you pick up sporadic jobs now while your still hunting for a full time job.



Fifthly, you have rental income.



Sixthly, you have be able to withdraw from your 401(k) without penalty (see 72(t).



Seventh, you do have the option to rent out part or all of your dream home for a years or two, if you are unsure of selling it.



Eighth, during the time period that your income is down, you should be eligible for additional government benefits.



Ninth, you have let no one down. You have worked hard for years, been a good provider, husband and father. It was completely out of your control, and basically only 2 1/2 years before schedule.



Tenth, Good luck!


+1
Great post!

A few other thoughts re looking for a job:
- When you are depressed and/or angry, it is not a good time to interview. Take some time to heal and rebuild your confidence and sense of well-being and you will present yourself more favorably.
- Have you thought about volunteering? Maybe you could go talk with students about what it's like to have an engineering career, or volunteer your handyman skills to help Habitat for Humanity. This will help you feel useful and productive again, and you might meet others in the process who could lead you to good job opportunities.

It sounds as though you have lots of good options and you will be fine financially. I'm hoping you will look back on this someday as a true blessing because you were able to retire earlier than planned. Good luck!
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Old 08-19-2017, 10:08 AM   #66
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Originally Posted by Looking4Ward View Post
As far as the depression goes - snap out of it. Yes, it's that easy. Just snap out of it.
Forgive my bluntness, but I found this to be an incredibly ignorant comment. People who are truly depressed don't choose this state and can't just "snap out of it." It is a medical condition that sometimes goes away on its own but sometimes doesn't. If one is depressed, one doesn't wake up one day and decide not to be. It is not "that easy."
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Old 08-19-2017, 10:29 AM   #67
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I think a homework assignment is in order! Take your lovely wife, take a few steps from your dream home and sit next to the water (with your favorite beverage of choice), watch the sunset and listen .......
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Old 08-19-2017, 10:30 AM   #68
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I want to applaud the OP for being brave enough to bring up his depression concerns. This was not easy. Just admitting the feelings is a great start. Many excellent suggestions already mentioned. Good luck to you. You are on a good path.
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Old 08-19-2017, 10:31 AM   #69
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Lots of good advice here - many of us have been laid off or fired during their career, including me. I recommend a 1 week vacation - preferably with no phone or internet access. Have fun.

When you get back, you can test drive retirement by living on your employment check.

I think retiring from a job is a little over-rated. They give a lunch and cake with some coworkers. I'd rather be fired or laid off - so you can collect 6 months of unemployment insurance.

The people that really matter to me are my family, not coworkers.
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Old 08-19-2017, 10:38 AM   #70
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantwaitanylonger View Post
To answer some of your questions, I have never had issues with depression.My plans were to work until 59.5 and start tapping 401K until FRA. I will receive full SS and my wife will get 50% spousal 5 years later. My wife has her own small business and she probably won't make more money or take another job. I called several attorneys and they didn't think I had an age case.
It sounds like you were shocked and surprised when your plans changed so suddenly, that's common and you're feeling low that things didn't work out the way you wanted them to.

It's looks to me like a deep breath, some time to adjust to what's happened and not beating yourself over something you couldn't control will go a long way to making you feel better.

All the best to you!
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Old 08-19-2017, 10:39 AM   #71
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Instead of seeing you as a loser, others may be jealous that you were able to quit the rat race so young.
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Old 08-19-2017, 10:42 AM   #72
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I am amazed that you say you can get by on $50k a year, $4167 a month, when your property taxes alone are 25% of that, add health insurance, real estate insurance for home and condo, repairs, auto expenses (car replacement?), child's future college tuition, clothing, utilities, etc. I guess that's how you can afford a $850k house. BTW not a criticism, more like challenge to see if I could do the same.

You have already overcome the hardest part, your depression is more or less out in the open. It can't hurt you anymore in the light of day. Best wishes!

Agree with others - take some time to process all that has happened. If you interview now, the desperation and depression will be sensed and will ensure the cycle of negativity continues.
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Old 08-19-2017, 10:44 AM   #73
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I've been laid off 4 times and always had a job in 2 to 3 months later. Give it time.

Don't worry, be happy. Smoke 2 joints.

If you're doing the ads in the paper, internet job boards, sending out resumes, talking to recruiters and going on interviews you will find a job soon enough.

So stop worrying and have some fun on your time off. Fix up the dream house. Go for a walk after your coffee, the morning air smells wonderful!
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Old 08-19-2017, 10:45 AM   #74
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Again, Thank you for your understanding and comforting advice.

I agree with taking a breather until my head clears. I am not sure I could enjoy a vacation in my current state of mind. I would also be bothered by the spending on a reduced income. You are probably right in your direction. I'm just not sure I can do that now.

I agree that family matters and I have a great local and extended family.

Thank you.
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Old 08-19-2017, 10:49 AM   #75
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I would go to the doc and get some meds. In fact, just go straight to a private psychiatrist as they can prescribe. It's worth the money as that's all they do every day. Some are like doc in a box which may be good or bad but they are cheap. The key is getting your mind straight. A lot of people take meds from time to time. I hate to fall back on them but I have seen them help a lot of people. Your mental health is #1 as everything else is more likely to fall into place if your mind is right. The way it is now if you ever do get an interview you may not come across at your best. For example, may seem desperate. Get your mind right! I wish you the best of luck with all of this.
P.S. Oh ya, and that's a big house and property taxes compared to your assets overall. Selling it and buying a smaller dream house may be a good idea. Maybe a dream townhouse!?
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Old 08-19-2017, 10:50 AM   #76
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If I were in a similar situation, the first thing I would do is put on some running shoes and run around somewhere until I couldn't run anymore. I find exercising helps me keep centered during trying times.

I think you'll find your path once you realize that you are so much better prepared than most people in that situation, and you are grateful to your historical choices.

Good luck!
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Old 08-19-2017, 10:59 AM   #77
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The benefits can vary upon where you live. Way back, when I was out of work as a youngin' I received job training and job placement.
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Old 08-19-2017, 11:05 AM   #78
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I called several attorneys and they didn't think I had an age case.
Yep. My mega is very crafty in the way they are doing things to skirt the law. Most of these cases go nowhere, except to give more anxiety to the plaintiffs. Glad you are moving on from that. It is very unlikely you were picked for who you are or what your performance was. It is more likely to just be a number on a spreadsheet.
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Old 08-19-2017, 11:17 AM   #79
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Here are some of my thoughts on the lake house. I view it as kind of a pent-up savings account that you cannot make withdraws on until it is sold. Around here, the houses on the lake are gaining value faster than the ones off the lake.

I feel like the gain in value is offsetting the tax cost and I am gaining in the end, probably a better gain than in a smaller house. It will just take some time to get the money, and I will continue to feed it (taxes) and lose the value of the $$ freed up with the downsizing sale.

In the end, it may end up being close to being a wash either way.

I do agree that it would be less mentally taxing to do the downsizing thing now.
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Old 08-19-2017, 11:20 AM   #80
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Unemployment is really low. Keep knocking on doors and you will find a job.
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