Depressed.....What to do?

[Doc0]

Depression is a clinical diagnosis and largely specific to brain neurochemistry, it is not being pissed at being screwed by your company.

Clinical depression: What does that mean? - Mayo Clinic

Be careful about acquiring a diagnosis that is not real. Once it's in your record, it's in your record and you can squawk all you want, it's not coming out. If you've never been depressed it's unlikely your going to develop it now. As you work through this your mood will likely improve. OTOH if it persists then go get a diagnosis. Keep a weekly log of how you are doing because you will tend to forget and it's worth being able to review. You are not qualified to diagnosis yourself. I lost my big deal job when I was 58, back in 2010. I temporized with another job at half the dough for another 7 years. I mostly took the second job for health care since my kids were in jr high at the time, so healthcare for my family was the boundary for me on ER. Work it like an engineering problem, boundaries and process efficiency.

You already have saved the majority of what you need. Every progressive year will yield less and less effect on the long term prospect of your portfolio's survival. Go to SS and get a listing of your earning history, and play with the numbers. See what 7 years of 40K per year v 7 years of 80K per year (or whatever) does to your lifetime aggregate earnings. It won't make much difference, but prove it to yourself.

Personally I would be concerned about a 800K property with those taxes. It's not hard to sell in good times but in bad times when you need the dough selling a property like that can turn into a career. When I moved to this town I looked at some high end properties. Some of those sellers still hadn't sold 2-3 years later and they were calling me up begging me to make them an offer. That is the problem with "dream homes". They are your dream but may not be anyone else's. You can do the "what-if" on that too.

For Medical care my wife is still far from Medicare and I have 2 kids in college so I need it. We did a concierge plan with a primary care doc plus a major medical called Liberty Healtshare. It's $399 per month for my wife and 2 kids, ACA complaint, and low deductible $500 per person. I combine this with a HSA So that's something you can look into. It takes a while to get all the moving parts moving again is all.

Do not be discouraged. To be discouraged literally means to be without courage. No future in being without courage. As Jerry Garcia said "I will get by, I will survive.." Pretty soon you'll be all retired sitting around on your sun porch drooling in your lap (like me).

Best

[Cantwaitanylonger]

Depression is probably the wrong term for my condition. I was just really down for several weeks after the job loss. I didn't eat, lost weight, couldn't sleep, had major constant anxiety, and couldn't stop the mental churning that was bringing me down. I was at the lowest point when I started this post. I just needed someone to talk to, and I didn't want my family to know the depths of my despair. I am somewhat better and mostly over it by now, but it still is there in the background to some extent.

I now have two second job interviews scheduled and have some degree of confidence that one of them will come through (but I could be way off and anything can happen). If they don't, I will probably fall into the rut again, although not as deep.

I am encouraged (and surprised) by the Firecalc results and this discussion has helped immensely.

[omni550]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cantwaitanylonger I now have two second job interviews scheduled and have some degree of confidence that one of them will come through (but I could be way off and anything can happen). If they don't, I will probably fall into the rut again, although not as deep. I am encouraged (and surprised) by the Firecalc results and this discussion has helped immensely.

Two second job interviews coming up! Awesome. Keep us posted.

omni

[Doc0]

My Dad was a PE and he changed jobs 6 or 7 times in his career because of downsizing or recession, we lived through this scenario with him. He had all kinds of interesting jobs both management and engineering, and his longest period of unemployment was about 6 months. We lived through 1960, 73, 80, 92, 00, 03, 07, etc. His 4 kids managed to graduate college. He retired to FL to 3 acres, 2400 sq ft and a 40x25 swimming pool. All of those changes were harrowing but in the end this is America and that should give you more comfort than anything. I think you have a very very small chance of failure

Best

[Travis Bickle]

If your house is lakefront, could you derive a little more income by renting it out via AirBnB? That would allow you to stay in it but drive down costs.

Not sure how good a deal airbnb is for owners, but it is something I've used on vacation and found it to be a good deal.

[Cantwaitanylonger]

Well everyone, I now have a pretty good job offer sitting in my grubby hands. It is slightly less $$ than I was making, but the insurance is much cheaper and much better. They also offer a better 401K match and a better vacation allowance. In the end, it ends up being pretty close to where I was.

I still have another interview next week at another good company. I am now in the drivers seat for the first time in a while. Thanks for all the great advice and well wishes.

[Ready-4-ER-at-14]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cantwaitanylonger Well everyone, I now have a pretty good job offer sitting in my grubby hands. It is slightly less $$ than I was making, but the insurance is much cheaper and much better. They also offer a better 401K match and a better vacation allowance. In the end, it ends up being pretty close to where I was. I still have another interview next week at another good company. I am now in the drivers seat for the first time in a while. Thanks for all the great advice and well wishes.

Congratulations for the work you exerted resulting in your new job offer.
Notice I did not attribute this to chance or fate. While probability may exist of any one company offering a position, it would not have likely occurred just because you had been an outstanding engineer in the past.

In Chicago we have a number of senior centers where a person 55+ can chat for free with a social worker. Please keep this in mind if similar is available there. It seems this age and above we all will experience many of the same life happenings. (job, health, family, moving, vigor) and can acquire coping mechanisms or outright fixes to many. I attend some group activity discussions just to have ways of dealing several of possible futures of which some include even more joys and happiness.

Best wishes for the future.

[daylatedollarshort]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cantwaitanylonger Well everyone, I now have a pretty good job offer sitting in my grubby hands. It is slightly less $$ than I was making, but the insurance is much cheaper and much better. They also offer a better 401K match and a better vacation allowance. In the end, it ends up being pretty close to where I was. I still have another interview next week at another good company. I am now in the drivers seat for the first time in a while. Thanks for all the great advice and well wishes.

Great news! Thanks for the update.

[street]

Good for you.

[Dreamer]

I am so happy for you. That is wonderful!

[Scuba]

Awesome! Now you can decide if you REALLY want this since Firecalc results were so good for you. Maybe this or the other company's offer will give you the opportunity to transition into ER on your terms. Well done!

[ivinsfan]

[Cantwaitanylonger]

Thank you all for your kind responses. It's funny how your (my) brain works. I am actually having second thoughts about now taking the job. I feel better now that I have an offer but am getting used to having some time off and doing some things that I have not been able to do for a while.

Make no mistake, second thoughts aside, I will take one of the jobs. I need to add a little post tax cash to my portfolio. I need to update several vehicles with over 500K miles between the two. I may just work thru June of next year and then take the summer off and look again next fall.

This has been a learning experience and has opened my eyes up to some new possibilities. As painful as it was, I am a better person for it.

Oh, and I am keeping the house for now. It's paid for and my duplex covers the taxes. The lake house market here has a mind of it's own and these houses are generally in fairly high demand. The 800K estimate of it's value is probably a little low given some recent sales in the area. I'm thinking that it would probably sell in 900 - 1.0 bracket. I know, that makes it an even larger % of my portfolio. It's kind of a pent-up forced savings account that we can live in and the kids love. I can afford it for the time being, especially with a job for now. So, I will enjoy for now and re-evaluate in a year or so.

[ndnguy822000]

Good to hear

[omni550]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cantwaitanylonger Well everyone, I now have a pretty good job offer sitting in my grubby hands. It is slightly less $$ than I was making, but the insurance is much cheaper and much better. They also offer a better 401K match and a better vacation allowance. In the end, it ends up being pretty close to where I was. I still have another interview next week at another good company. I am now in the drivers seat for the first time in a while. Thanks for all the great advice and well wishes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cantwaitanylonger Thank you all for your kind responses. It's funny how your (my) brain works. I am actually having second thoughts about now taking the job. I feel better now that I have an offer but am getting used to having some time off and doing some things that I have not been able to do for a while. Make no mistake, second thoughts aside, I will take one of the jobs. I need to add a little post tax cash to my portfolio. I need to update several vehicles with over 500K miles between the two. I may just work thru June of next year and then take the summer off and look again next fall. This has been a learning experience and has opened my eyes up to some new possibilities. As painful as it was, I am a better person for it. Oh, and I am keeping the house for now. It's paid for and my duplex covers the taxes. The lake house market here has a mind of it's own and these houses are generally in fairly high demand. The 800K estimate of it's value is probably a little low given some recent sales in the area. I'm thinking that it would probably sell in 900 - 1.0 bracket. I know, that makes it an even larger % of my portfolio. It's kind of a pent-up forced savings account that we can live in and the kids love. I can afford it for the time being, especially with a job for now. So, I will enjoy for now and re-evaluate in a year or so.

WooHoo!!!! Congrats on the job offer and the mindset shift (which took some work on your part. ).

It sounds like you've acquired a good perspective on where you are and what you need to do going forward. That's got to feel good.

omni

[kgtest]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cantwaitanylonger I could live in the duplex but wife won't. We are in our dream house that we built 10 years ago. A logical move would be to downsize but I hate to make any rash decisions while I am in a depressed state. I haven't run firecalc lately. I will run again tonight. I have been somewhat paralyzed with depression.

You have 50k in cash and your wife brings in $9600 annually plus the rental income.

Sounds like you could run about 3years before depleting ALL cash, investments and your wife's income. Will you have enough after that to continue to live off investments? If so. keep living at $30,000/yr with wife working until she doensnt need to anymore.

My property taxes are $4,000 annually. You must live in a mansion.

[Mdlerth]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cantwaitanylonger Thank you all for your kind responses. It's funny how your (my) brain works. I am actually having second thoughts about now taking the job. I feel better now that I have an offer but am getting used to having some time off and doing some things that I have not been able to do for a while. Make no mistake, second thoughts aside, I will take one of the jobs. I need to add a little post tax cash to my portfolio. I need to update several vehicles with over 500K miles between the two. I may just work thru June of next year and then take the summer off and look again next fall. This has been a learning experience and has opened my eyes up to some new possibilities. As painful as it was, I am a better person for it. Oh, and I am keeping the house for now. It's paid for and my duplex covers the taxes. The lake house market here has a mind of it's own and these houses are generally in fairly high demand. The 800K estimate of it's value is probably a little low given some recent sales in the area. I'm thinking that it would probably sell in 900 - 1.0 bracket. I know, that makes it an even larger % of my portfolio. It's kind of a pent-up forced savings account that we can live in and the kids love. I can afford it for the time being, especially with a job for now. So, I will enjoy for now and re-evaluate in a year or so.

Dear Cantwait,

Congratulations on having created some additional options. I agree that you should take one of the j*bs and keep w*rking for a while... a year, two years, whatever. Not because of the money but because, from interpreting your posts, you aren't mentally ready.

There are dozens/hundreds/thousands of members here who, over two decades, have posted about a variety of RE topics. The data show that many of those posts deal with NON-financial aspects of retirement. I can't help but notice that many posts are pleas for reassurance. The OPs cite conclusive $$ cases, and yet resist FIREing for a variety of other reasons. For many of our fellows, those NON-financial considerations are the determining factors.

It's abundantly clear that your distress isn't driven by concern over finances so much as over human issues. Your feelings of rejection and helplessness are palpable in your messages, so much so that it appears you would have written the same posts even if you had simultaneously won a lottery prize.

Some people come here seeking financial counsel. No problem with that. There is plenty of advice regarding fund fees and asset allocations which will bring you enormous benefits over the coming decades.

But your critical issue is one of feelings, not of accounting. The most important thing you can do is to ask yourself questions regarding priorities, etc. Much better to know your own mind and worry about the questions later.

When your head is ready for RE, you'll know it. Good luck!

[Cantwaitanylonger]

I just wanted to share with you fine people that I have accepted a very nice job offer today. Thank you all for helping me get through a very tough time in my life. I really needed the hope and inspiration that was provided. Hopefully, the next time I leave a job it will be my choice.

Here's to a happy future....

[Nemo2]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cantwaitanylonger I just wanted to share with you fine people that I have accepted a very nice job offer today. Thank you all for helping me get through a very tough time in my life. I really needed the hope and inspiration that was provided. Hopefully, the next time I leave a job it will be my choice. Here's to a happy future....

Good luck, and all the best! Come back and tell us how things go....and also chat about other, unrelated, stuff.

[KB]

Good news. Glad you found a job and are happy about returning to work.