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02-18-2008, 03:16 PM
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#41
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Los Angeles area
Posts: 329
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 Quote:
Originally Posted by Khan
For me, the negatives of stress caused by constantly having to monitor everything I say and do lest I cause offense, (and by having to try to read someone's mind so I can know in advance what will cause offense in a constantly changing context) far outweighs any positives I can think of.
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Not trying to convince you otherwise, but this is exactly the opposite of what I look for in my relationships. I far prefer to work towards being comfortable enough to say anything (and not feel like monitoring) in front of my partner, and have them do the same. If one of us gets offended, it's that person's issue and not a judgement on the other.* Of course, it's impossible to keep this in mind all the time, but I find the rewards of trying are worth it.
* That doesn't mean we don't argue or try to resolve things we disagree upon, just that we try not to make it a blame thing.
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02-18-2008, 03:18 PM
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#42
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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LOL. I need comedy today, thanks.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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02-18-2008, 04:22 PM
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#43
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lawn chair in Texas
Posts: 14,183
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haha
LOL. I need comedy today, thanks.
Ha
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What was that commercial: Pay me now, and or pay me later...
__________________
Have Funds, Will Retire
...not doing anything of true substance...
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02-18-2008, 05:13 PM
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#44
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Losing my whump
Posts: 22,702
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haha
LOL. I need comedy today, thanks.
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Anytime Ha...cuz...I love you, man! 
__________________
Be fearful when others are greedy, and greedy when others are fearful. Just another form of "buy low, sell high" for those who have trouble with things. This rule is not universal. Do not buy a 1973 Pinto because everyone else is afraid of it.
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02-18-2008, 05:23 PM
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#45
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 46,056
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Quote:
Originally Posted by figner
Not trying to convince you otherwise, but this is exactly the opposite of what I look for in my relationships. I far prefer to work towards being comfortable enough to say anything (and not feel like monitoring) in front of my partner, and have them do the same. If one of us gets offended, it's that person's issue and not a judgement on the other.* Of course, it's impossible to keep this in mind all the time, but I find the rewards of trying are worth it.
* That doesn't mean we don't argue or try to resolve things we disagree upon, just that we try not to make it a blame thing.
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One of the things I love about not being married and not living together, is that we only get together when both of us want to. We've been in a committed relationship for years, and yet we haven't really had reason to have a knock down, drag out argument. No reason to. We get together to have fun and to enjoy sharing our lives and each others' company. Are we still in the "honeymoon phase" of this relationship, after all these years? Could be, but I am eternally optimistic.
I really do think that many people need to spend more of their time alone than they do, in order to look inside and find happiness, and to appreciate time spent with someone else.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
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02-18-2008, 05:37 PM
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#46
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Gone but not forgotten
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 11,447
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I hate to disagree but I think the honeymoon stage while nice is not reality . If you can be together day in and day out and are still crazy about them that is priceless !
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02-18-2008, 05:38 PM
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#47
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Rio Grande Valley
Posts: 31,909
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Want2retire
Being married is one of life's grand experiences that I would not deny anyone. But the other side of the coin is that working out honest agreements on financial matters over a lifetime is hugely difficult, and a tremendous accomplishment. I have the greatest respect for any couple who can pull this off.
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It's been a piece of cake for us. Of course marrying an easy going spouse helps. Mutual respect makes a lot of difference too. We just see eye-to-eye on many things which I suppose is why we got together in the first place.
Audrey
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02-18-2008, 05:38 PM
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#48
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Gone but not forgotten
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 6,924
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg
I hate to disagree but I think the honeymoon stage while nice is not reality . If you can be together day in and day out and are still crazy about them that is priceless !
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Is that possible?
__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
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02-18-2008, 05:40 PM
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#49
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Rio Grande Valley
Posts: 31,909
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Khan
Is that possible?
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yes
Audrey
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02-18-2008, 05:44 PM
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#50
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Gone but not forgotten
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 11,447
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Khan
Is that possible?
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Yes ,It's possible and I'm living proof !
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02-18-2008, 06:14 PM
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#51
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 46,056
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Khan
Is that possible?
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Sounds gruesome. I need my space!
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
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02-18-2008, 06:17 PM
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#52
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,826
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg
I hate to disagree but I think the honeymoon stage while nice is not reality . If you can be together day in and day out and are still crazy about them that is priceless !
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Khan
Is that possible?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Want2retire
Sounds gruesome. I need my space!
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Yep, it's possible, and we've broken up three marriages (that we know of) this way...
__________________
*
Co-author (with my daughter) of “Raising Your Money-Savvy Family For Next Generation Financial Independence.”
Author of the book written on E-R.org: "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement."
I don't spend much time here— please send a PM.
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02-18-2008, 06:20 PM
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#53
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 46,056
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__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
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