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Equal Contributions (calling Haha)
02-13-2008, 06:57 PM
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#1
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 623
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Equal Contributions (calling Haha)
Okay, I normally think that a husband/wife team should come to their own agreement on who contributes what to their marriage. But when I read this:
The Hard Stuff: "He Needs a Real Job!" - Â* MSN Lifestyle - Relationships
it makes me re-evaluate some of the threads here...
__________________
"Making deliberate choices about how to spend your money and your time is the essence of making the most of your life energy." -Bill Perkins, Die With Zero
"I've traded love for pennies, sold my soul for less" -Jim Croce, Age
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02-13-2008, 07:06 PM
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#2
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 12,894
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Quote:
Sometimes men are a little like horses — you quit kicking them on, and they figure this means it's time to stop and graze.
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Wow, she got us all figured out...
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02-13-2008, 07:47 PM
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#3
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 4,455
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Quote:
Whatever amount you arrive at, half is his responsibility
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That's not a bad deal. My amount is over half since my income is higher than her income.
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02-13-2008, 08:39 PM
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#4
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,856
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So, c'mon, folks... which one of you registered posters is this?
I think after five years it's safe to say that the job search has ended... and if MSN is the best place she can think of for advice in all that time, I don't see a lot of hope for the relationship either.
__________________
*
Co-author (with my daughter) of “Raising Your Money-Savvy Family For Next Generation Financial Independence.”
Author of the book written on E-R.org: "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement."
I don't spend much time here— please send a PM.
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02-13-2008, 09:20 PM
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#5
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 10,252
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OK, I'll admit that my spouse is an engineer. There was a time after we moved that she wasn't even looking for a job and had appeared to 'retire early.' Her friends supported her stay-at-home-momness, but I applied pressure for her to get a job. It has worked out well. She has worked ever since and even though she could retire now, she wants to keep working.
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02-14-2008, 07:52 AM
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#6
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 13,151
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I was a little surprised at how hard Karen-the-advise-columnist pushed that hubby must contribute 50% of their financial needs. Would she be so firm on this if it was the wife who was under employed? I'm thinking not.....
__________________
"I wasn't born blue blood. I was born blue-collar." John Wort Hannam
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02-14-2008, 08:34 AM
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#7
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,020
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I have an admission to make... my wife contributes more to our retirement than I do.
We both contribute the max to our 401(k) (and I contribute another few percent after-tax). But, all of the other after-tax investments and emergency savings contributions and large expense contributions come out of her pay checks.
On the other hand, the mortgage, car payment, insurance and food come out of my paycheck. She hasn't complained about the arrangement yet.
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02-14-2008, 10:11 AM
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#8
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Dryer sheet aficionado
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 35
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Is anyone surprised that these two gravitated to the teaching profession? nice not to have accountability and a powerful union that keeps the status quo...you know for the children.
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02-14-2008, 10:19 AM
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#9
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Losing my whump
Posts: 22,708
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I love reading advice columns. The crushingly bad advice given out and the absolutely preposterous situations some people cant figure out on their own is well worth the time spent.
My forehead is usually sore for days from excessive slapping after reading a good one.
In this instance, I'm wondering if the spreadsheet employed calculates the contribution levels of both parties all the way through the relationship. I'm also wondering about whether anyone will figure out that the guy may have some issues that need some attention.
Maybe he's just depressed from losing his job and doesnt want to engage in another tightly committed "relationship" and is just playing with more tenuous jobs that he doesnt have to fear losing. Granted, confronting the issue and communicating through it are crucial, but I didnt immediately leap to the conclusion that the horse needed to be kicked until it started producing a 50% income result.
Oh, and maybe the kids can get jobs and pay for their own college?
__________________
Be fearful when others are greedy, and greedy when others are fearful. Just another form of "buy low, sell high" for those who have trouble with things. This rule is not universal. Do not buy a 1973 Pinto because everyone else is afraid of it.
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02-14-2008, 10:20 AM
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#10
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TickTock
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No sure why you might be calling Haha on this, as I would consider myself a casualty rather than an expert in socio-sexual relations. My wife once confided in me that it turns women on to see their men work. Corollary, it turns them off to see their men idle.
This had nothing to do with adequate support, just that in her estimation anyway, if bubba wants the eggs he better be gettin' the bacon in some easily observed and understood manner.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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02-14-2008, 11:08 AM
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#11
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 623
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haha
No sure why you might be calling Haha on this, as I would consider myself a casualty rather than an expert in socio-sexual relations.
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I put your name on the thread title because you ususally point out when a double standard exists or is likely to exist. Was not meant to be derogatory in any way; thought it was something you'd be interested in.
__________________
"Making deliberate choices about how to spend your money and your time is the essence of making the most of your life energy." -Bill Perkins, Die With Zero
"I've traded love for pennies, sold my soul for less" -Jim Croce, Age
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02-14-2008, 11:17 AM
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#12
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TickTock
I put your name on the thread title because you ususally point out when a double standard exists or is likely to exist. Was not meant to be derogatory in any way; thought it was something you'd be interested in.
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Oh, I did not think you were being derogatory. In fact, I love you man! I was just continuing the banter. I am really not that sensitive.
You are right, I do notice double standards, and not just gender based ones. IMO it is the way of America today. If a person can't laugh at this crap, he is in for an unpleasant time of it. Whatever a whole lot of Americans accept as obviously true is bound to be ridiculous.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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02-14-2008, 11:20 AM
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#13
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 623
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haha
Oh, I did not think you were being derogatory.
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Whew. Hard to tell over the internet, sometimes.
You're not getting my Bud Lite.
__________________
"Making deliberate choices about how to spend your money and your time is the essence of making the most of your life energy." -Bill Perkins, Die With Zero
"I've traded love for pennies, sold my soul for less" -Jim Croce, Age
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02-14-2008, 11:28 AM
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#14
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Boise
Posts: 7,866
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haha
My wife once confided in me that it turns women on to see their men work. Corollary, it turns them off to see their men idle.
This had nothing to do with adequate support, just that in her estimation anyway, if bubba wants the eggs he better be gettin' the bacon in some easily observed and understood manner.
Ha
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Now you tell me...
ETA: After reading the first few paragraphs off the column, I've scratched the name Karen Karbo off my list of prospective "future ex Mrs. 2Cor521s".
2Cor521
__________________
"At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough, and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may in fact be the first steps of a journey." Violet Baudelaire.
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02-14-2008, 11:32 AM
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#15
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SecondCor521
Now you tell me...
2Cor521
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Hey, just listen to Uncle Ha. You will still get the crap beaten out of you, but you will no longer be surprised about it.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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02-14-2008, 11:35 AM
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#16
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,483
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cute fuzzy bunny
I love reading advice columns. The crushingly bad advice given out and the absolutely preposterous situations some people cant figure out on their own is well worth the time spent.
My forehead is usually sore for days from excessive slapping after reading a good one.
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You would be amazed at how MANY people take a columnist's advice as gospel and act accordingly...............
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)
This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
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02-14-2008, 11:50 AM
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#17
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 13,151
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cute fuzzy bunny
In this instance, I'm wondering if the spreadsheet employed calculates the contribution levels of both parties all the way through the relationship.
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Good point...... and often a difficult one to reconcile to both party's satisfaction.....
Example: During our serious working years, I frequently earned double DW's salary. Today, I'm fully retired, don't make a penny and enjoy it that way. Since retirement, DW does a combination of volunteer and compensated work with special needs kids (including our grandson) part time. She graciously throws her check (amounts to about 5% of our pre-retirement combined income) into the "fun and entertainment" account and we spend it as we get it. Believe me, when she says "tonight's dinner and concert are on me" my response is "yes maam and thank you!" Any reference to my past contributions always leaves me regretting the day I was born.....
No one should be denied their day.
__________________
"I wasn't born blue blood. I was born blue-collar." John Wort Hannam
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02-14-2008, 12:08 PM
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#18
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Boise
Posts: 7,866
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haha
Hey, just listen to Uncle Ha. You will still get the crap beaten out of you, but you will no longer be surprised about it.
Ha
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Yo Uncle H.,
At the moment I prefer solitude where I have complete control over 66% of my time and all but $x,xxx of my monthly finances and where I am not required to accommodate or try to understand one of those female creatures. I find them to be intrinsically appealing and damnably confounding and frustrating simultaneously.
I have pledged $1,000 to the favorite charity of my (female, happily married, and sharp as a tack) divorce attorney if I do remarry.
2Cor521
__________________
"At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough, and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may in fact be the first steps of a journey." Violet Baudelaire.
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02-14-2008, 12:27 PM
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#19
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 25,302
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Interesting how couples manage their finances. At the time I remarried I was making about twice what she made. She was the one who insisted on paying the higher of whatever utility bills came in and the phone bill that she ran up talking to her mother. That was reasonable since she was the only one who called anyone long distance.
My position was that I was going to be paying for the house & utilities whether I was married or not. Still, it ended up being about the same percentage of her net income. We never bothered to figure exact percentages. As long as the bills got paid I didn't really care who paid 'em.
A funny: A couple years later we bought a new car on one of those 0% down low-interest financing deals. Car & loan in both names of course. Salesguy put my name first on the loan & title, but she made all the payments. At end of term I get a nice letter from GMAC about making timely payments. No mention of her name. She was absolutely furious! I promised the next time she could be on top. Somehow, that didn't help....
Next one we paid for with cash, so the promise remains unfulfilled.
__________________
When I was a kid I wanted to be older. This is not what I expected.
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02-14-2008, 11:55 PM
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#20
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 321
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Walt34
A funny: A couple years later we bought a new car on one of those 0% down low-interest financing deals. Car & loan in both names of course. Salesguy put my name first on the loan & title, but she made all the payments. At end of term I get a nice letter from GMAC about making timely payments. No mention of her name. She was absolutely furious! I promised the next time she could be on top. Somehow, that didn't help.....
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He he! Here's another funny: My ex and I were buying a new truck for him. We filled out the financial paperwork to see if the dealership could beat the financing offered by our credit union. My ex was a graduate student and not working much so I just listed down my not insubstantial engineering income. Salesguy comes back, takes a quick glance at the figures, says that we should get a good rate, then looks me straight in the eye and says "Do you want to put down your income too? Every little bit helps". I smiled ever so slightly and replied: "That is MY income. [turn to look at spouse] Do you want to put down your income? You know, every little bit helps...." The salesguy quickly interjected "That won't be necessary!" and whisked the paper off to the Financing Dept before my ex could even open his mouth....
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