Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 05-04-2021, 01:30 PM   #101
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 1,430
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExFlyBoy5 View Post

A lot of parents just can't stop being parents. My DW's Mom is like that. As an example, we were visiting them for dinner a few weeks ago and the subject of spending money on house repairs/etc. came up. Instead of actually LISTENING to what we were talking about, she immediately asked, "Do you need some money? I can help you!" We have been crystal clear that was are A-OK financially yet it falls on deaf ears. It is what it is.

Take the money and tell her you put it into Bitcoin. She probably won't offer again.
Time2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 05-04-2021, 01:36 PM   #102
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
ExFlyBoy5's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Country Living
Posts: 4,804
Quote:
Originally Posted by Time2 View Post
Take the money and tell her you put it into Bitcoin. She probably won't offer again.
That's a good idea. I should get a DOGE Coin shirt and wear it for Mother's Day dinner.
__________________
Retired in 2014 at the Ripe Age of 40
ExFlyBoy5 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2021, 03:24 PM   #103
Moderator
Walt34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 22,363
Quote:
Originally Posted by Time2 View Post
Take the money and tell her you put it into Bitcoin. She probably won't offer again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExFlyBoy5 View Post
That's a good idea. I should get a DOGE Coin shirt and wear it for Mother's Day dinner.
Now that there's just funny!
__________________
I heard the call to do nothing. So I answered it.
Walt34 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2021, 05:42 PM   #104
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 691
Quote:
Originally Posted by chassis View Post
ER is viewed by some as unproductive. To be fair, what will you do with your time and energy to make the world a better place? Serious question. Wasting away in Margaritaville is not a good way to live. How will you be productive to yourself and others, beyond "enjoying" life?

ER is not understood by many. It can also be a trigger for jealousy.

ER is a legitimate option for all people. It is not a practical option for all people.

What will you do with your time and energy when ER?
I think this is being very judgmental. Why should it matter to her and to anyone else if she is being productive- in someone else’s estimation?

Why does she have to do anything to make the world a better place? I’m sure in her own way she has.

For myself- I felt working in health care service positions my entire life until I retired at 62 that that was my service to humanity. Now retired I’m not interested in volunteering or any of that. I help out my neighbors if they need it- even if it’s just a small thing. I participate in some litter cleanups once in a while. Try to be kind to people.

But I feel now is the time for me and my husband. We’re home bodies and just living day to day life with some outdoor activities, hobbies and entertainment and socializing thrown in here and there is enough.

True- we did not retire early really but even if we did we’d probably be the same. Maybe travel a bit more. That’s it.

If we want to do nothing we do nothing.
meleana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2021, 06:00 PM   #105
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Dayton
Posts: 74
True freedom is when you don’t give a damn what anyone thinks.
Caskem is offline   Reply With Quote
Explaining ER to people
Old 05-04-2021, 06:28 PM   #106
Confused about dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CLT
Posts: 5
Explaining ER to people

I was retired, bought out, fired (take your pick) in 2000 at age 59. My reply to people asking why was that I am unemployed and just too lazy to go back to work.

Most of my friends and peers were quick to let me know they would do the same thing if financially able.

My original plan was to retire at 55. Family planning interfered (Three kids in College at the same time).
rb460 is offline   Reply With Quote
Just Smile
Old 05-04-2021, 06:32 PM   #107
Confused about dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jun 2020
Location: Sedona
Posts: 4
Just Smile

I’ve been through the same thing with family and some friends. The more you are secure in your decision making, the easier it is to brush off other people’s opinions.

There is nothing to explain and nothing to justify. You make the best decision you can for you and your family. Mom ( along with everyone else) gets to do the same. Mom can have her opinions about your life and it’s ok to just let her be wrong. My stock answer in those situations is....thanks for your concern, but we’re happy with this decision.
.
Imalifecoach is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2021, 06:49 PM   #108
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
RobbieB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Central CA
Posts: 6,277
Parental visits are a good reason to have a cocktail. Sure Ma, sounds great!
__________________
Retired at 59 in 2014. Should have done it sooner but I worried too much.
RobbieB is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2021, 06:58 PM   #109
Confused about dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 2
We expect to ready to be retired in 5 years (fingers crossed), not super FIRE, but by age 60.

In a casual conversation with my dad, who is now 78, he stated that his dad (Irish immigrant, a carpet layer with 7 kids) worked to the day he died & that this is his plan as well. Although he’s not working at a traditional job, he is still hustling hard at his age!

My response was......well, dad, I’ll be sitting on the porch with an umbrella drink watching you! Haha! This led to a light conversation where I actually shared a very small insight into just a fraction of the $$ we had set aside at the time. My dad’s eyebrows went up, he shut up, and hasn’t gone down that road with us since!!

Moral of the story?? I don’t know.....maybe just that our parents want us to be happy & secure & able to enjoy life?? I don’t know.....
northwetmossbacks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2021, 07:03 PM   #110
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 970
Quote:
Originally Posted by rb460 View Post
My original plan was to retire at 55. Family planning (OR LACK THEREOF) interfered (Three kids in College at the same time).
LOL
__________________
-Big Dawg-FI since 9/2010. Failed ER in 2015. New target 2021.-

-"Blow that dough"-Robbie

" People say I'm lazy, dreaming my life away Well, they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me When I tell them that I'm doing fine watching shadows on the wall "Don't you miss the big time, boy. You're no longer on the ball" -John Lennon-
Bigdawg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2021, 07:06 PM   #111
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 547
You post really resonated with my hubby and me!

Except for a couple of things (that my hubby and I were both teachers, for 51 years and 41 years respectively, and that we retired later than you (we retired together, hubby at age 74 and me at age 64)), you have described us, too!

We do volunteer at the Food Bank once a week, but it is strictly by choice - we feel no pressure to be there, which is probably why we like being there.


These parts of your post are especially how we view retirement:

"But I feel now is the time for me and my husband. (Italics mine.) We’re home bodies and just living day to day life with some outdoor activities, hobbies and entertainment and socializing thrown in here and there is enough."

And "If we want to do nothing we do nothing."
CindyBlue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2021, 07:21 PM   #112
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 6,316
FWIW, I had been RE'd for about a year and, in a moment of insanity walked into my favorite small wine boutique and asked the owner if I might work a few hours a week "to keep busy".

He looked at me and said: "What are you....crazy?! You're doing what everyone else wishes they could do! Get out of here and go to the beach"

I bought a nice bottle of Cab and went to the beach.
__________________
Living well is the best revenge!
Retired @ 52 in 2005
marko is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2021, 07:27 PM   #113
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
martyp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Bangkok
Posts: 1,177
Interesting. When I was in college I had dorm mates who said they would never get married until they had a job and could support a wife. The idea of their wife working reflected poorly on them. I was completely the opposite. When I married it was going to be these case that we both worked. On top of that we chose not to have children. We were fortunate in our careers and I retired at 55. Fortunately, I was never that close to the rest of my family. They had no influence on my life and work choices however they seemed to be proud of my modest success. When it came time to ER I consulted my wife but not my family. I was never concerned about what they thought. I think they knew I would go my own way.
__________________
Happy, Wild, and Free
martyp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2021, 08:11 PM   #114
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 912
Quote:
Originally Posted by FANOFJESUS View Post
I have an uncle that hates that I retired early.
Ha! My uncle took me aside and said "If your company offers you an early retirement buy-out, take it."
rayvt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2021, 09:10 PM   #115
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Waterloo
Posts: 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by ivinsfan View Post
Were the words "get off your butt" actually used? Turn about is fair play because you said they had "no identity besides working". So apparently there is a lot of judging in your family.
Tell the naysayers just what this person said, that they have "no identity besides through their work", and then tell them that you have better things to do other than wasting your life away at some dumb 9-5 job!

[Mod Edit]

If you want to do something worthwhile, teach little kids how to read and write. THAT, would be good for the world. It's also a lot of fun!
Skitso999 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2021, 09:15 PM   #116
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 71
Sorry, I didn't read past the third post. This thread seems like deja vu all over again. Is this for real? Either OP has a problem with sense of self worth and needs to vent or this whole thing is contrived. I vote for the latter. It seems like I have read this thread before.
WWDog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2021, 10:02 PM   #117
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Major Tom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: SF East Bay
Posts: 3,594
Quote:
Originally Posted by braumeister View Post
And let's not forget those of us whose contribution is simply to serve as a bad example.
That reminds me of a T-shirt I saw, with the wording,

"Uncles are not totally useless. We can be used as bad examples."
__________________
Contentedly ER, with 3 furry friends (now, sadly, 1).
Planning my escape to the wide open spaces in my campervan (with my remaining kitty, of course!)
On a mission to become the world's second most boring man.

Major Tom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2021, 06:30 AM   #118
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Golden sunsets's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 2,075
Quote:
Originally Posted by WWDog View Post
Sorry, I didn't read past the third post. This thread seems like deja vu all over again. Is this for real? Either OP has a problem with sense of self worth and needs to vent or this whole thing is contrived. I vote for the latter. It seems like I have read this thread before.
The OP has only weighed in once since the initial post. Here we are all in a frenzy posting our responses and suggestions and the OP seems to have moved on.

The OP also has a history of starting threads and never following up with a second response.
__________________
"Luck favors the prepared mind"
Pasteur
Golden sunsets is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2021, 07:15 AM   #119
Confused about dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Apr 2021
Location: Albuquerque
Posts: 9
Quote:
Originally Posted by audreyh1 View Post
they can’t imagine a traditional breadwinner leaving money on the table.
I feel this about DW and myself - we're earning more than we ever have, and it feels dumb to walk away...but it's not about the money, it's about those grains of sand slipping through the hourglass!
HoneyBadger is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2021, 08:33 AM   #120
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New York
Posts: 68
I'm going to give your mother the benefit of a doubt, despite her harsh words. I think she's jealous that you've had opportunities she didn't and feels you're throwing them away. I think she's also truly concerned about your future because you're financially dependent on someone who may not always be there (divorce or death). Agree with others to make sure that you're financially set even if something were to happen to your husband or marriage. If so, you can just tell her thanks for your concern, but I'm all set for the future.
HMMY is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Reached FI in July and haven't looked back wdberry62 Hi, I am... 5 01-24-2018 01:00 PM
I looked at people RE very differently street Life after FIRE 36 11-15-2017 11:59 AM
Video explaining health care reform MBAustin Health and Early Retirement 1 10-12-2011 07:04 PM
Explaining the concept of inflation to a military veteran... Nords FIRE and Money 11 02-23-2008 01:53 PM

» Quick Links

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:36 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.