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Old 12-05-2020, 10:24 AM   #41
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I have all of my savings with Fidelity, and DW does go with me when we visit in person with the Fidelity advisor once/twice per year. She knows and likes the advisor, and does have basic understanding of our financial picture and strategy. While I do all the management now, she is familiar with the advisor and she can go with Fidelity services if she wants to, if I go first. She also has one brother and my sister who I trust that she could use as a second review if needed. Other brothers and sisters are worse shape than these two and would not be a good review resource, LOL.
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Old 12-05-2020, 10:37 AM   #42
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I just told DW to leave the investments alone, sell anything if cash is needed it really doesn't matter what and if there is excess cash to invest, use Vanguard Tax Managed Balanced for the taxable account and Wellesley Income for the IRAs.

All the other tasks that need to be done like taxes and RMDs, I clearly explained in a summary document

I wouldn't bother introducing her to a branch rep at Fido or Schwab, the chances of them still being there when I'm gone are slim
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Old 12-05-2020, 11:00 AM   #43
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I think a good income mutual fund such as Wellesley is the best way to hire some brains for the surviving spouse who does not wish to get involved with finances. Set it up to send him or her a check every month, working out to about 4% a year. Vanguard won't be calling her to invest in this or that fund, or churn her account because the sales person wants to buy a new boat.

We have a neighborhood Facebook group that people often ask for help with things like finding a new dentist or a good place to get sushi. When people ask for a good FA, I used to post a few simple good books to read with the strong admonition that it's not rocket science and most people can do it themselves in just a few hours a quarter at most. Mostly I got unhelpful comments from the spouses of the FA's, and other people moaning about how they aren't good at math.

I console myself knowing that even if a stranger has to pay an FA 1-2% of their net worth each year, they are still better off since they are at least investing something.

Now, rather than give advice to strangers on suicidal media, I spend my investment returns on travel and women. The rest I waste.
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Old 12-05-2020, 12:30 PM   #44
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I spend my investment returns on travel and women. The rest I waste.
You need to start a new thread about these adventures
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Old 12-05-2020, 08:22 PM   #45
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I am the financial person in our house. I have known women to take over when their husbands got sick and did well. I am surprised about the number of women not interested.

Me too. Dh and I manage our finances together, but I am the one who does the legwork and day to day management. At any given moment I know exactly where we are standing and how we are doing, and how to access everything.

I really am quite surprised at the amount of women not interested according to this thread.
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Old 12-05-2020, 09:28 PM   #46
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... Her bigger challenge with not be dealing with the investments. It will be some of her "shady" relatives who have backed off due to my presence. They may come around after I am gone looking for her to finance their desires, and she has a harder time being forceful than I do.
Yes, my BIL is a life insurance agent, so I hear you. With any luck he'll at least be retired before I pass on.
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Old 12-05-2020, 10:21 PM   #47
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...

I really am quite surprised at the amount of women not interested according to this thread.
In our case, DW isn't so much not interested as fully delegating. During her practice years, she was focused on her patients and overseeing the finances of her group. So when I went half time to raise the kids, she basically signed off on managing personal finances. When I went back to full-time law practice, inertia ruled (and I could get by on less sleep).

After retirement, inertia and comparative advantage. I stick with finances and she is in charge of planning/booking our ~6 months of travel each year. We both consult the other, but our respective spheres just sort of evolved.

I have little fear of how she'll manage on the likely event I die first. OTOH, I'd initially flail at planning multimonth international trips on my own!
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Old 12-06-2020, 07:03 AM   #48
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Thatís exactly what I would be worried about. Fortunately DH is a DIYer, even though I manage all the investments. Heís generally familiar enough with our holdings and my investment approach.

Iím working hard to simplify investments for both of us as we age. My concern is more about when I am 75, 80. And who do I get to do billpaying? No children.
My mom had dementia of which she was completely unaware. One of the first screwy things she did was ignoring any bill that came in the door. In fact she just stopped opening any mail. She had many bills on autopay but didn't remember to transfer into the checking account that paid those bills. Prior to that she was a wizard with money and balancing her checkbook even at age 97. Then something broke. So yeah...we don't know how it will go for any of us.

I'm hoping to be in a CCRC where nearly everything is automatically paid. Also intend to put a good part of my fixed income assets into an SPIA so that I will have a good "pension" when I include SS. Like you, no kids.
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Old 12-06-2020, 07:28 AM   #49
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Hereís a recent interesting paper from JAMA that looks at dementia and financial performance, concluding that years before a diagnosis, people are already suffering from averse financial decision making. https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jam...stract/2773241
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Question Are Alzheimer disease and related dementias (ADRD) associated with adverse financial outcomes in the years before and after diagnosis?

Findings In this cohort study of 81 364 Medicare beneficiaries living in single-person households, those with ADRD were more likely to miss bill payments up to 6 years prior to diagnosis and started to develop subprime credit scores 2.5 years prior to diagnosis compared with those never diagnosed. These negative financial outcomes persisted after ADRD diagnosis, accounted for 10% to 15% of missed payments in our sample, and were more prevalent in census tracts with less college education.
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FA for wife after my death?
Old 12-06-2020, 07:34 AM   #50
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FA for wife after my death?

For a long time, I was the finance person but when we implemented a budget in prep for retirement, DH and I hooked up to the financial sled and pulled it together from then on. We have both an accountant and a fee only FA so when one of us departs the big blue marble the other already knows all the details and how to manage whatís in place.

What I worry about is the survivor becoming incapacitated - we donít have a plan for someone to manage finances on our behalf in that case....
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Old 12-06-2020, 07:46 AM   #51
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I also do all the financial services I our home. Started with bill paying, taxes and then investing of our 401k. Now our retirement plans, I do go over everything with DH 2-3 x a year.
When we 1st retired I showed him our investment balance at 12/31 and used 3.5% to determine our W/D for the upcoming year. I showed him a line item budget that shows how the money is spent.
He is 63 and would like to start SS, but we really donít need it yet and have delayed. My SS will be slightly less than his and I plan on taking it at minimum full retirement. Iím 59.
Luckily the market has been kind. Also, I have learned a lot on this site. I moved to a 3 fund portfolio in both our 401kís years ago. Did away with International a couple of years ago. So now we are in equity index and bond funds.
His is with Fidelity and mine is at Vanguard.
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Old 12-06-2020, 10:14 AM   #52
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I have written instructions stapled to my will instructing DW how to handle investments. It's very similar to the advise Warren Buffet gave his wife, a Vanguard 2 fund portfolio.


I should also point out that Pension, SS and rental income that is set in place will easily cover her living expense.


If she just stays the course with the VG investment portfolio she'll be fine. I wouldn't want her to walk into a FA and have them take $3M and set her up in annuities and high fee mutual funds.
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Old 12-06-2020, 12:51 PM   #53
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I really am quite surprised at the amount of women not interested according to this thread.
Sometimes it isn't a question of interest as much as one of being comfortable and confident in their ability to make sound financial decisions.
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Old 12-06-2020, 03:30 PM   #54
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I really am quite surprised at the amount of women not interested according to this thread.
Why does that surprise you? I've read many threads where husbands say that their wife is not interested in investments. And I've talked to enough people and had enough life experience to be aware of women who feel that way.
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Old 12-06-2020, 03:50 PM   #55
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My wife has a masterís degree in tax and was the person at her Megacorp who negotiated and signed the contracts for the 401k. Sheís fully capable of handling finances. But I end up managing them, paying the bills, and doing the taxes. I keep her informed of most things and we go over our big picture a few times a year. Sheís included in all of our discussions with our advisor at Schwab. But things just wouldnít get done if I waited for her to pay bills or rebalance investments. When we married all her money was in a checking account except for stock options and her 401k. I had to prod her to take some risk in her 401k.
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Old 12-06-2020, 04:48 PM   #56
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don't forget there 2 parts to this.......the strategic ......mostly this thread..............and the tactical day-day things like how to get cash for spending or replenishing a checking account. Kind of like teaching your kid to w/ elevated expectations and emotions. Still working but often avoid the situation by doing myself...............
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Old 12-07-2020, 01:00 AM   #57
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I have written instructions stapled to my will instructing DW how to handle investments. It's very similar to the advise Warren Buffet gave his wife, a Vanguard 2 fund portfolio.


I should also point out that Pension, SS and rental income that is set in place will easily cover her living expense.


If she just stays the course with the VG investment portfolio she'll be fine. I wouldn't want her to walk into a FA and have them take $3M and set her up in annuities and high fee mutual funds.
Won't managing a rental(s) be a real pain for her, along with the potential to be exploited by a bad rental manager.

I told my DW, should I pop off soon, put the rental up for sale, it's too much hassle.
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Old 12-07-2020, 04:53 AM   #58
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I am in the same boat. DW has not interest.

So, when we shopped for a new fee for service financial advisor one of the key requirements was finding an adviser, a firm that DW felt very comfortable with and with whom she would attend our meetings.

Second thing I did was consolidate our investments and make it very easy for her to move forward should I fall off my perch.

So far, so good.
I have a portion of our investments under AUM with an adviser that DW trusts. In addition, I carry $850k in life insurance to help her with the transition. If I live to be 87, it will be wasted money (truly insurance). I figure it is a small cost to give us both peace of mind.
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Old 12-07-2020, 07:56 AM   #59
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Won't managing a rental(s) be a real pain for her, along with the potential to be exploited by a bad rental manager.

I told my DW, should I pop off soon, put the rental up for sale, it's too much hassle.
It is bare farmland. No house or buildings. Very easy to manage, one rent check in and two property tax statements out per year.

I agree with rental units, I would tell DW the same as you did if we had one.
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Old 12-07-2020, 08:13 AM   #60
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I am the financial person in our house. I have known women to take over when their husbands got sick and did well. I am surprised about the number of women not interested.


Nowadays I donít think itís so much a case of women being not interested as one spouse taking the lead and the other having little or no interest in many cases. As you say you are ďthe financial personĒ in your house. I presume most female posters here play that role also. My DW has zero interest and Iíll need to take that into account but Iím confident sheíll figure it out and hopefully I can make easy for her to avoid a shark attack.
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