Family Team

[DAYDREAMER]

I am proud of the team DW and I make when it comes to our financial lives (or our life in General). We have identical goals to become FI and ER as fast as we can. When one of us puts on our stupid hat and wants to buy something silly, the other will be the devils advocate. The final result will either be nothing purchased (money saved) or something purchased that was more practical than the initial splurge. She and I work at good engineering jobs and both incomes allow us to save significantly. Together, we are powerful financially. Couldn't have asked for a more perfect wife!

The state of the economy doesn't seemed to affect us. Sure, our silly stocks tank like the rest, but the financial security blanket we give each other makes state of the economy insignificant.

If you have similar goal oriented spouse, then you are a Powerful TEAM! Congrats!

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

wow, marriage must be wonderful. i wouldn't know.

 

[shoe]

Daydreamer how wonderful it is when a couple can work together in the direction of their dreams. I have seen firsthand what happens when two financially irresponsible people work together for their financial destruction. My dear SIL and her deceased husband did just about everything humanly possible to bankrupt their lives and succeeded handily.

 

[Nords]

We give Team Nords a high-five whenever we score a LBYM deal... and every time we check our empty-nester countdown.

 

[calmloki]

wow, marriage must be wonderful. i wouldn't know.

Eh- getcherself a partner. No sure that marriage is magic. The gal and i have been together 30 years sans governmental sanction or priestly blessing and i feel the same way Daydreamer does about teamwork, though i think we differ a bit - when one of Team Loki puts on the silly hat the other encourages the activity, as we have the most problem cutting loose, not saving.

 

[GoodSense]

DH and I have very similar goals financially, too. However, I sometimes feel that the desire to ER has become such an important focus of our lives that once we ER (not that it's happening anytime soon), we may need to re-adjust to each other and figure out what we really want to do with our lives and free time. Much like empty-nesters when children are gone. Maybe I am thinking too much again...

 

[simple girl]

I am proud of the team DW and I make when it comes to our financial lives (or our life in General). We have identical goals to become FI and ER as fast as we can. When one of us puts on our stupid hat and wants to buy something silly, the other will be the devils advocate. The final result will either be nothing purchased (money saved) or something purchased that was more practical than the initial splurge. She and I work at good engineering jobs and both incomes allow us to save significantly. Together, we are powerful financially. Couldn't have asked for a more perfect wife!

The state of the economy doesn't seemed to affect us. Sure, our silly stocks tank like the rest, but the financial security blanket we give each other makes state of the economy insignificant.

If you have similar goal oriented spouse, then you are a Powerful TEAM! Congrats!

This is exactly us! (except I'm not an engineer) DH and I feel like we are a mean, lean, FIRE plannin' machine together! Although the recent market has taken our net worth down significantly, we have just readjusted our time-line, dug our heels in, and moved forward. We've decided since FIRE will be a little further out that we will reward ourselves a little more along the path (i.e. more vacations) so that we aren't so depressed about delaying FIRE! Together, we can do anything, and we will be happy no matter what, as long as we are healthy!

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

Eh- getcherself a partner. No sure that marriage is magic. The gal and i have been together 30 years sans governmental sanction or priestly blessing and i feel the same way Daydreamer does about teamwork...

thanx and in my mind you are right both in your attitude towards marriage and in that i shouldn't let society affect me. still, i suspect even unmarried str8s have some level or entitled sense of protection even if just by common law which might make them more inclined & secure in their partnerships, even if that security is just an illusion.

 

[haha]

thanx and in my mind you are right both in your attitude towards marriage and in that i shouldn't let society affect me. still, i suspect even unmarried str8s have some level or entitled sense of protection even if just by common law which might make them more inclined & secure in their partnerships, even if that security is just an illusion.

Talk to any divorced guy and he will likely tell you he wishes that he had not been allowed to marry. Say you are getting along fine with a woman, see no reason to rattle any cages. Next you might hear, "But where is our relationship going? (Where should it go; it is really satisfying now.) "Well, if we gain ground, we lose ground." (Are you an NFL offensive coordinator or a woman?)

Unfortunately, as long as marriage is a possibility it will be a goal for a lot of people, and that will complicate your life.

Ha

 

[Alan]

Our Team is now in its 35th year and having the same financial goals and outlook has been far more relevant than stock markets etc.

Incidentally we are also both engineers but more importantly we both hate debt, so first 3 years together we had no car until we could afford to buy one, no TV for 1st 7 years. always affordable mortgages based on a single salary in case one of us lost our job .....

 

[Bestwifeever]

Our team has been together about as long as Alan's and DH is a rightbrainer and completely clueless about finances (God help us--I bounce things off him all the time before we proceed with any decision and the next week he's asking what we're doing about it--he's always been like this). I barely know what I'm doing anyway so forums like these are immensely helpful to me. I know a few other couples like us but usually in those situations one person is extremely financially savvy (unlike me) while the other is not at all involved.

I do know a couple who are almost pathologically competitive with each other for LBYMing--their caskets will be heaped with cash when they are buried.

 

[Alan]

I do know a couple who are almost pathologically competitive with each other for LBYMing--their caskets will be heaped with cash when they are buried.

DW's older sister and husband are just like this. They are now ER'ed, him with a COLA'd LARGE government pension plus more money than Solomon in investments but still as tight as a crab's ar*se. We stayed with them a couple of years agao for 3 nights (in Edinburgh, Scotland). It was wet and 62 deg INSIDE the house, but it was June so there was no way they were going to put the heating on.

 

[Gumby]

thanx and in my mind you are right both in your attitude towards marriage and in that i shouldn't let society affect me. still, i suspect even unmarried str8s have some level or entitled sense of protection even if just by common law which might make them more inclined & secure in their partnerships, even if that security is just an illusion.

A good point. I'd like to think that the young wife and I would still form the same formidable FIRE team if we were not married, but I can't really know.

Lazy, you and the partner of your choice can always come to Connecticut. We don't have any residency requirement to get married. And if you want a church wedding, the ministers in my church would happily perform the ceremony. Of course, I'll expect an invitation.

 

[NW-Bound]

I'd like to think that the young wife and I would still form the same formidable FIRE team if we were not married, but I can't really know.

Having seen the young wife mentioned several times, I've got really curious. What's the age difference, I might ask?

 

[Gumby]

Having seen the young wife mentioned several times, I've got really curious. What's the age difference, I might ask?

2 years

 

[REWahoo]

Having seen the young wife mentioned several times, I've got really curious. What's the age...

2 years

Aren't there laws against marrying two-year-olds? Even in Connecticut?

 

[Meadbh]

wow, marriage must be wonderful. i wouldn't know.

Being gay does not guarantee immunity against marital disharmony:

Same-Sex Marriage | Gay Marriage | Queer Marriage

 

[CuppaJoe]

2 years

Who's who? Did you marry an older woman?

 

[Gumby]

I am older. She was still but a teen when we met (although I was only 21).

 

[Khan]

If you have similar goal oriented spouse, then you are a Powerful TEAM! Congrats!

But if you don't...

 

[Koolau]

DW and I have made a good team in preparation for FIRE, however we have had differing roles in the process. She has no interest in investing, but she has been very frugal - even more so than I.

Just not working against a big-time-spender in a relationship is a tremendous aid in reaching FIRE. Having the same ultimate financial goals (in our case, FIRE) is at least half the battle.

 

[NW-Bound]

My wife counts the money coming out. I make sure the replenishment comes in.

This year, I failed in my job. So, she has to tighten the spigot. Heh heh heh

 

[ScooterGuy]

When there are 'hidden agendas'

My first three marriages were slow-brewing disasters, but ones that took years to uncover that fact. Any economic downturn, leading to a move or a loss in upward grown, was blamable upon myself, with each woman becoming an uncontrolled over-spender of epic proportions.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to LBYM or save for any purpose, when your spouse has 'hidden agendas' and can spend, not only what you make, but what you should have made, if the upward trend in income had continued. Wife #1--now re-married--owns a home, and the inside, includiing the attic and the full basement, are literally crammed with all the boxed-up 'things' she bought while she was over-spending with me, and then with the things she bought while over-spending with him.

At this time, DW (#4) and I are both 'on the same page,' and are active LBYM's. I ER'd 6 years ago, and she did, as well, 2 years ago. We drive one older, small, used car, and live in an older house (mostly paid off) with very little debt. We've 'de-cluttered' three times, so far.

We are happily content.

 

[Walt34]

It is great when both are on the same page about finances, which is really about priorities. 1st wife was a big spender, so the 2nd time around I married an accountant.

 

[Urchina]

I think that our financial compatibility is one of the main reasons that DH and I have such a successful and conflict-free marriage. We actually talked about how we dealt with money before we got too far down the dating road, because I'd just broken up with a very nice guy who had such a different take on money that I couldn't deal with it. I wasn't going there again -- luckily DH and I matched up very well that way.

One thing I particularly like is that we have complementary skills when it comes to money. We're both competent financial managers, but I'm really great at researching and distilling information (my "job" as an at-home mom gives me time to do this) and DH is fantastic at running analytical projections and models. I'm also a better frugalista, but that's just practice.

I like the fact that we have complementary skills as opposed to skill duplication -- it just seems more efficient. It also means that instead of figuring out how to do analytical models of our finances, I can focus on, say, learning more about annuities.