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Old 01-12-2013, 07:54 AM   #61
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My wife, bless her, is lousy with money. She has never saved a dime in her life. She spends based upon perceived need/utility rather than what funds are available. So for the 32 years we've been married, I've handled the majority of the finances - most the bills, savings, and investments.

There is no question that were we to divorce, there would be no distinction between "her money, my money." But it's also true that our informal division of financial responsibility - you use your money for these things, I'll handle everything else - has very effectively served to limit the financial liabilities she has wrought. "Your money, my money" marital divides are certainly not a panacea (my wife could easily have overspent her bucket, for instance, incurring debt we'd both be responsible for), but they can very often help when couples are not of a like mind on saving/spending philosophy.

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Old 01-12-2013, 02:47 PM   #62
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Originally Posted by haha View Post
His hers ours accounts may have some helpful psychological effect, but they are a fiction. Like the lady says above, they are married! What is his is hers, what is hers is his.
Even multimillionaires have this problem. Even a postnup didn't preclude this ex from getting $2.1 million a year.

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Old 01-12-2013, 02:59 PM   #63
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Yes, pre-nups and post-nups are regularly tossed by courts or ignored by judges. We did a pre-nup (second marriage) to protect my assets from his ex-wife (on behalf of his daughters if my hub should die).....and even then the attorney said it was more helpful as guidance to a judge (who may wonder what my husband's intentions were about my property) than a legal document restricting them from his daughters.

My dad had a pre-nup on second marriage, judge tossed it, saying he felt they had been married long enough that it shouldn't be in force and he had to split his pension with his second wife, even though it was from a job he had well before he married her.

You all put too much stock in legal agreements when it comes to family courts.
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Old 01-12-2013, 04:09 PM   #64
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I don't believe my husband's money is mine. Instead, we believe that our money is ours. It's a bit of a distinction from the "whats yours is mine" mindset. Meaning every dollar is owned jointly, and all spending decisions are subject to joint review. We're both accountable for making and sticking to our budget. We have extra money in savings, it doesn't mean I get to hit the mall.

If I want to purchase something outside the budget, I ask. So does he. We both own every dollar, together.

To each their own, but I like the way we do it.
I like this way too. Heavy on the joint agreement part. I think this is where the system breaks down for many. If they cannot get agreement, then they do it their way anyway.

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