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Old 08-16-2017, 06:09 PM   #41
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I imagine you also saved the state $$ in not having to go after a deadbeat.

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I agreed to forego mine in return for not having to give up any of the investments in my name. He never would have paid- was pretty much unemployed till he died 13 years later. I've since heard that states don't like this because the custodial parent could file for benefits if times got tough but I'm grateful I was able to do it this way and I never even came close to needing taxpayer support.
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Old 08-16-2017, 06:30 PM   #42
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"Do you know why divorces are so expensive? Because they're WORTH IT!" - Ken Titus

(disclaimer: happily married for over three decades)
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Old 08-16-2017, 06:45 PM   #43
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Yes, in Texas you pay if you are the person without full custody. You pay by a predetermined formula and if you don't pay, you get hunted down and stripped of assets that can be sold. You can also end up in jail if you are not careful of the law on this matter.
That's pretty inflexible. In my case the Ex would have spent everything (including liquidating any IRA/401(k) transferred to him) in a few years. I know this because he left the marriage with $100K from the sale of the marital home after all his debts were paid and was penniless 2 years later. He would have had zero assets, and putting him in jail would have gotten me nothing. Darned glad I didn't divorce in TX.
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Fun math for divorce
Old 08-19-2017, 12:45 AM   #44
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Fun math for divorce

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My calendar is already booked that day. I am not accepting any invites from anyone with a long scythe.:
As woody would say: " I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens"
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Old 08-19-2017, 07:18 AM   #45
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Half the marriages end in divorce, the other half in death... Neither a good option...

Stay single, stay alive.
No offense but this "half" has never been true. The highest rate of divorce was around 40%.

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr049.pdf
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Old 08-19-2017, 12:07 PM   #46
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And if you are higher educated like most of us here, it drops to 20%. Engineers even go below 10% in one study.
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Old 08-19-2017, 12:51 PM   #47
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No offense but this "half" has never been true. The highest rate of divorce was around 40%.

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr049.pdf
So 60% end in death?? Yikes!

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And if you are higher educated like most of us here, it drops to 20%. Engineers even go below 10% in one study.
That is because they can calculate how expensive it is, and bear with the pain.
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Old 08-19-2017, 02:06 PM   #48
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Lawyers and judges are not to be relied on for life-changing issues. While there are many good ones, remember the Bell Curve.
So true. Mediation failed with a restraining order. If it were two smart people getting divorced...perhaps they would have spent less. Her first divorce was much less scarring.

IMO she was bait and switched from the first date. I have a degree, turns out he doesn't I am a business owner, turns out he's just the employee, i have no kids...well you can see where this is going...narcissistic liar, cheater, and lots of other issues heh.
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Old 08-20-2017, 01:45 AM   #49
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If it were two smart people getting divorced

Sounds like both were lacking in the brains.
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Old 08-20-2017, 03:21 AM   #50
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i always say marriage is like gambling .

she says will you love me in 30 years ? you say i think so .

then you bet 1/2 your assets on it and let it ride ha ha ha ha
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Old 08-20-2017, 07:39 AM   #51
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My calendar is already booked that day. I am not accepting any invites from anyone with a long scythe.
All you need to know is WHERE you are going to meet the reaper, and just don'the go there!
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Old 08-20-2017, 09:11 AM   #52
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i always say marriage is like gambling .

she says will you love me in 30 years ? you say i think so .

then you bet 1/2 your assets on it and let it ride ha ha ha ha
Good one But many aspects of life are like gambling, no? I think it's worth the risk because the alternative of being alone without children doesn't appeal to me. Even after my divorce from hell I did it again with no prenup. Hopeless romantic I guess.
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Old 08-20-2017, 09:15 AM   #53
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"Do you know why divorces are so expensive? Because they're WORTH IT!" - Ken Titus

[...]
Best post on the thread! That says it so perfectly, IMO.
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Old 08-20-2017, 09:17 AM   #54
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Good one But many aspects of life are like gambling, no? I think it's worth the risk because the alternative of being alone without children doesn't appeal to me. Even after my divorce from hell I did it again with no prenup. Hopeless romantic I guess.
Danmar, you are a brave, brave man. Good luck and I hope that you never have to go through a divorce again.
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Old 08-20-2017, 09:29 AM   #55
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Danmar, you are a brave, brave man. Good luck and I hope that you never have to go through a divorce again.
Thanks, I certainly hope so too. Looks like a pretty good bet at this point though.
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Old 08-20-2017, 01:35 PM   #56
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...I think it's worth the risk because the alternative of being alone without children doesn't appeal to me. Even after my divorce from hell I did it again with no prenup. Hopeless romantic I guess.
+1 I'm totally in your camp. Marriage should be about mutual affection and commitment. I've never understood the logic of having such reservations about a prospective mate to require a prenup, but marrying anyway.

In the words of Davy Crockett, "Be sure that you are right, and then go ahead."
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Old 08-21-2017, 11:04 PM   #57
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+1 I'm totally in your camp. Marriage should be about mutual affection and commitment. I've never understood the logic of having such reservations about a prospective mate to require a prenup, but marrying anyway.

In the words of Davy Crockett, "Be sure that you are right, and then go ahead."
I don't think of a prenup as having reservations about a prospective mate. It is just sensible planning for a contingency that is fairly common. I think every couple with substantial assets should go thru the prenup process so that they can plan what will happen in the event of a divorce while they are in love, rather than while they actively dislike each other.

It is also an unpleasant process to go thru that can teach you a lot about each other before you get married. Might as well find out beforehand how you cope with unpleasant financial discussions.

I don't pay my life insurance bill because I expect to die this year. I pay it because I could.
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Old 08-22-2017, 03:45 PM   #58
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I don't think of a prenup as having reservations about a prospective mate. It is just sensible planning for a contingency that is fairly common. I think every couple with substantial assets should go thru the prenup process so that they can plan what will happen in the event of a divorce while they are in love, rather than while they actively dislike each other.

It is also an unpleasant process to go thru that can teach you a lot about each other before you get married. Might as well find out beforehand how you cope with unpleasant financial discussions.

I don't pay my life insurance bill because I expect to die this year. I pay it because I could.
I think I agree with you despite my previous post about lack of a prenup. In my case I had virtually nothing when I married wife #2. In fact she helped support me in the first few years. So obviously no need or desire for a prenup.

However, if I were to remarry again now I would need to ensure my daughter was protected, perhaps through a prenup or trust arrangement. Really depends on your net worth, age, any children, etc. No universal truths on this topic.
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Old 08-22-2017, 04:17 PM   #59
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+1 I'm totally in your camp. Marriage should be about mutual affection and commitment. I've never understood the logic of having such reservations about a prospective mate to require a prenup, but marrying anyway.

In the words of Davy Crockett, "Be sure that you are right, and then go ahead."
I know this is heartfelt position, but it ignores several obvious facts. There may be (or of course may not be) mutual affection and commitment at time of marriage, and a much less optimistic situation at some later date. At that later date partners my hate one another, may be tired of one another, may have changed their life orientation, even sexual orientation. I know several men and women who once married and had children, and at some later time decided or discovered that he or she was homosexual. Without divorce, a very unhappy position. And that is one of many reasons why divorce is provided for in the law. Still, it is up to the partners to provide for their ongoing solvency. Perhaps more commonly, one partner feels some or all of these changes, and the other remains hopeful and committed.

Davy Crockett may have been good at taming the wild frontier, but I would not assume that his guidelines should be applied to marriage. Best to adjust your life plans to reality, rather than to expect reality to adjust to you.

Ha
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Old 08-22-2017, 06:21 PM   #60
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I know this is heartfelt position, but it ignores several obvious facts. There may be (or of course may not be) mutual affection and commitment at time of marriage, and a much less optimistic situation at some later date. At that later date partners my hate one another, may be tired of one another, may have changed their life orientation, even sexual orientation.
Sadly, I must agree with Ha. My ex and I had several decades of a good loving marriage, then my ex decided that a former coworker would be a better hubby. After several years of deceit and cheating, even an idiot like me figured it out. It pretty much caught everybody by surprise. In fact many of our 'friends' thought I must have done something horrible to have driven such a morally exemplary person as her to adultery. Amazing......

That said, if you have a happy marriage full of love and trust, then I can only encourage you to keep on with it. You are blessed.
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