donheff
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Nords, I would try paying the credit freeze fee with your own card and see if it works before trying something else.
Y'know, I try to do the right things. I really do. It's the military ethics, which at the very least is just a way of simplifying your life by telling the truth so that you don't have to remember which lies you've told to a bunch of different people.Nords, I would try paying the credit freeze fee with your own card and see if it works before trying something else.
Yeah, this one's been waking me up at night.Regarding the safe deposit box....just because a charge doesn't show up on a bank statement, it could be he had a particular type of account that included the perk of a 'free' safe deposit box. Therefore no fees and no notices in the mail.
You might want to double-check...
So, to recap the correspondence, I sent TransUnion $5.44 in cash & stamps, they sent me a $5 check for my "check" because their website is wrong, and they still haven't said anything about whether or not they've frozen Dad's credit records."Thank you for the check you recently sent TransUnion to cover the cost of your request. Since your check was for an amount that was greater than the cost, we are enclosing a refund of the overpayment."
With respect having to one's elders in an assisted living facility, we strongly recommend that family members visit regularly. It does not have to be long. Ask questions of the staff. Be aware of your relative's condition, too. Keep track of doctor visits and find out what transpired. Better yet, come along if you can. Learn who the supervisors are and call from time to time, especially when you are far away and can't visit regularly.
We found that even with good intentions on the part of the facility, when no-one visits, the old people get less attention (or even neglected). When they know that someone is watching, they take better care. It is good when the staff recognizes you, including the managers.
I was in Grand Junction's hospital ward with my Dad, using both a geriatric care manager and the hospital's discharge coordinator.Based on my experience any time a senior is scheduled for surgery the family should consider the possibility that they will recuperate in a skilled nursing facility. Visit those in the area and develop a list as your favorite may not have a bed when the senior is discharged. So often families must make those decisions under difficult circumstances.
Been there, done that.
The application's not accurate or completed, but it named us sons as beneficiaries. It was signed by Dad and witnessed by two agents. It has a policy number and it's listed as "Single premium whole life insurance". The application said it cost $67,636.94 to obtain an eventual $92,380 coverage.
A different agent wrote back with a one-page summary. It turns out that the premium was actually $6763.69. (No idea where the "4" came from.) The coverage was still the same. The policy was paid up with that single premium, so if I hadn't noticed that life-insurance application in his medical file then I never would have learned about its existence.
(Note to self: find out if there's a national or state database of life insurance policies.)
It's been 15 months since Dad used either of his credit cards. Both of them have expired. I have the new cards and I have not activated them, but the accounts are still active. When I went through both account histories online looking for a $6763.69 charge, I realized that one of the accounts is a Chase "rewards" card with 17,000+ points on it. I clicked on the "Redeem rewards" link and... sonofagun, I was able to claim his $150 cash rebate plus a $10 gift certificate. Another tip that needs to be added to the conservator's manual.
I can't remember how old your dad is but $92K for a single $6763 premium sounds like it was probably reasonable. What's that all about? Maybe he knew Alzheimer's was on the way and could still see a good deal? The bit about social skills fooling people coupled with contemporary misfilings and other clues is scary. I think a lot of us believe we will see problems coming and make sure we turn over our affairs to the kids but it is probably more likely that we will hold off until we are already vulnerable to predators or simple errors. Difficult to insure against a big screw-up.
Dad's now 78 years old, and he was 76 when he bought the policy. I wish I could figure out his state of mind at the time. I doubt he remembered that he already had a dementia diagnosis. The "friendly insurance agent" is a big predator issue, especially for an elder who preferred to live like a hermit. Dad can still bluff his way through a casual coffee shop conversation for at least 30 minutes, but I would think that the insurance agents would realize what was going on... that's why I suspect they "helped him fill out the form".While I am not an insurance agent, I find it hard to believe that a man in his early 70s could buy a single-premium $92k death benefit whole life policy for the meager sum of $6.7k - unless he were the bionic man!
Last time I saw Dad he didn't recognize me. (He thought I was his ol' college roomie.) The nurse asked him about his sons visiting him, and in front of me Dad told her "I have two sons. My older boy Doug is a smart sonavabitch. My younger boy is... a good son." So apparently I have his support. And he's generally a happy Alzheimer's patient, so we all get along when we're together.Nords,
I can't believe I didn't see this thread earlier (must have been on a forum sabbatical) or you didn't PM me.
DW and I have recently ended active management of her parents assets. I sounds like you have, at least, not had to endure your father threatening you for taking over things. Be happy for that.
That's all good advice, thanks. I've had his mail forwarded for about 15 months now (and updated the senders we knew about) so USPS is probably done forwarding by now. I've had tons of magazine subscriptions and charity appeals.I glanced through the thread and you, as I would expect, have things well in hand. As for "missing accounts" all you can do is watch the mail and hope something arrives. A year is about what you may need to get this. Also, you will need to look in the "lost property" internet website for your father's name for probably the next decade. My MIL recently showed up as the owner of a couple of shares of a company she worked for several decades ago. It's a trivial amount of money but we'll apply after my FIL's estate is formally closed. There isn't enough money to justify the legal costs of opening up my FIL's estate to do this.
My father had a safe deposit box full of cash (~$17,000). I'm sure you checked his banks for the possibility of a safe deposit box. If it's somewhere else, you will hopefully get a statement for payment.
My inlaws had closets full of financial records. It took weeks to go through it all. They were total pack rats and had bank and brokerage statement going back decades. They had accounts all over town and all were relatively small. My FIL bought several variable annuities after his Alzheimer's had started to kick in further lowering (if possible) my opinion of variable annuity sales people. Did we find everything? Probably but we'll never be sure.
We did that last July and it went pretty well. My brother and his GF know antiques & collectibles and they used an appraiser for a few things. I had already tossed the place once and my brother did it again, so we think we got it all. (As far as we know!) Dad was a filer and a packrat, but at least he was not a hiding hoarder.2b, your comment about the safety deposit box of cash made me think. It might be prudent to do a house search and closely inspect items in house before auctioning off items.
Excellent point, thank you ! I knew there was a reason to save the old tax returns-- or at least no reason to toss them out.Also, since you said you had all of dad's old tax returns, check out the Schedule B as well as any 1099s starting several years before the insurance premium payment, and a year or two after. I have a feeling your dad would have chosen an interest checking account (versus a free checking, no interest account), so if there's a bank that sent him a 1099 that you didn't know he had an account at, it might indicate he still has an account there. Since banks don't have to send you a 1099 if the interest earned is under $10, they might have dropped the interest to zero over the past year or two and he might not have received a 1099 lately, so be sure to check a while back when yields were actually non-zero. Something tells me he wouldn't have handed over $6.8k in cash to an insurance agent (or if he had, he would have had the werewithall to have demanded an iron-clad receipt stating that he turned over that cash to them, which he would have filed away)
You would be surprised at how labor-intensive and time-consuming that is. Most of the calls go to voicemail and are never returned. If they pick up then they want evidence that you're a conservator (along with proof of ID). Even then they aren't impressed-- you're treated as if you're calling the medical clinic to see if any of your old girlfriends have been tested for STDs. It seems as if you're not already a customer, or trying to become one, then banks don't want to waste their time on you.Also, wouldn't hurt to call the local banks in the area that your father might have had a safe deposit box at and simply say you wanted to verify he didn't have any boxes there. There can't be that many, so it wouldn't take too many calls to double check it.
Pulling his credit report went well. He'd lived in that apartment for over a decade so it was just the one address. He had a car loan from 1999-2005. (He sold that SUV to my brother when he went into the care facility.) But for at least the last 10 years, he was only using the two Chase credit cards that were on his report. There was a query from Cap One but that was probably just a solicitation-- no evidence that he ever signed up.The subject of checking your father's free annual credit report for open credit cards was brought up earlier in this thread - check that credit report for old cards he might have closed out earlier. Usually those closed accounts still show up on your credit report for a few years after you close them out, and sometimes they even list the monthly statement balances from several years ago...one of those old closed accounts might show a monthly statement balance of $6.7k or more.
My FIL had been paying a CPA firm to do his taxes for decades. I spent about 20 minutes on TurboTax and got the whole thing done. That CPA firm must have missed the easiest $600 they ever billed.I guess I'll be going through a decade or so of tax returns after dinner tonight...
"Conservator, a detective adventure in real life".
Good one-- I've added it to the list. Thanks!"Conservator, a detective adventure in real life".
Perfect title another Nords book, should he decide to write one on that topic! That would really suck the reader in and ramp up the sales numbers.
Those are all great [-]therapy[/-] questions that have been occupying our Ohana Nords dinner-table conversation, and at a minimum it'd start out as another blog. Very easily done, too, since I've already written several blog posts about it. However I'm holding on to this one until I take the blog out to its own host. The transfer is already looking complicated enough.Nords,
Sorry about your dad's condition.
Have you considered with what you have learned being the conservator of your dad's financial affairs that you might write another book on the subject.
How about Executor, a detective adventure in real life? Yep, happening to us. The only good thing is my SIL agreed to act as executor which allowed DH to decline without causing too much of an upheaval."Conservator, a detective adventure in real life".