Gift Now or Inheritance Later

[Penny6]

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Originally Posted by kgtest I've received 2 gifts in my late 20s for about 20,000 each. That gift was a fricken godsend and in my opinion that extra psychologically push to build my own wealth. It's an amazing thing to be able to receive that gift, even more incredible to give it IMHO. I want to be able to do that for my kids when I am still alive. One of the gifts was when we wed, my in-laws covered up to a certain point of the wedding. We managed to elope for $10,000 wedding on the beach with our closest friends and family. We had money leftover that we used to pay down our own debt and a down-payment on a newer car. The second gift allowed me to get a new roof for our home and put some into roth IRA. I feel like just that $30,000 although we never really saw $13,000 as we put it into Roth, helped us so much that we are in much better positions financially than most of my peers. So if you have the opportunity to gift to kids who won't squander it could be the best thing that happened to them. Plus you will get a lot of steak dinners in return.

Not having the kids squander is a key factor in my eyes. I personally will gift, but probably in some sort of match scenario. Match if roths are fully funded, match a contribution for a house down payment. Definately plan on continuing our annual family vacation. Hopeful to take grandkids with us on separate trips to give the parents vacation time alone. When my husband and I took a trip to Paris with our 2 littles we were taking a Sienne River tour and we sat next an older couple and they had their maybe 4yo granddaughter with them. How amazing to give your grandkids a passion for travel as well as the time and memories. We also look forward to our kidless vacation time where we reconnect and decompress as a couple. I think giving a couple nearly 60k cash a year with no direction could easily be detrimental. If this couple is a hardworking responsible goal oriented couple maybe not. We live in a consumeristic society so you have to be willing to sit with the idea your legacy may be squandered on some thongs you may deem unnecessary.

[Blue Collar Guy]

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Originally Posted by Amethyst "A stranger got half of it." You meant the second wife, right? Not "a stranger." A relative by marriage. Sounds like the others chose to ignore and disdain this new relative. Serves them right.

Yes the second wife. She was a stranger to the mother in law. She never met her , they were married I believe 3 years when the son in law died. And im quoting my neighbors who referenced the 2nd wife "as a stranger". She was also referred to as other things, but i left those words out. Stranger was the most complimentary.

[Amethyst]

So they felt free to call her bad names, even though they didn't know her. Sound like darling folks.

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Originally Posted by Blue Collar Guy Yes the second wife. She was a stranger to the mother in law. She never met her , they were married I believe 3 years when the son in law died. And im quoting my neighbors who referenced the 2nd wife "as a stranger". She was also referred to as other things, but i left those words out. Stranger was the most complimentary.

[RunningBum]

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Originally Posted by Koolau This sort of scenario is the reason our small business (Sub S) had a resolution for a buy-sell agreement. Essentially the business had insurance policies on each of the share holders. When one would die, the proceeds would allow the Corp. to buy the shares of the one who died. The relatives of the deceased got bought out with no chance to become a share holder. Guess what. The youngest share holder did die and the Corp. bought the shares back. The alternative could have been a nightmare (without going into details.) The terms of a buy-sell can be tricky, so the shareholders really need to think about how it might play out. YMMV

Yes, that's the way to handle things like this. Gifting vs willing is irrelevant, as the same thing would've happened had the mother died before gifting the business.

[kaudrey]

Back on subject....my sister and I are in our 40s. My parents have given us some money every year at Christmas (below the $14K), for the last 5 years or so. Doesn't change our lives, but they know we appreciate it and will put it toward our next vacation or big purchase (this year it's going toward my bathroom remodel).


I usually put at least half of it in my brokerage account.


I'd vote for annual gifts rather than monthly. Then it seems more special and the kids can make a bigger deal out of thanking you, etc...

[Blue Collar Guy]

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Originally Posted by Amethyst So they felt free to call her bad names, even though they didn't know her. Sound like darling folks.

My moral of the story was they should have never pressured the mother to give away the business before she really wanted to. In my opinion if she wouldn't have pressured her mother in law to give "the kids" the business as an early inheritance , she would have been probably gotten the lions share, instead of 50 %.

[OddGuy]

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Originally Posted by Blue Collar Guy My moral of the story was they should have never pressured the mother to give away the business before she really wanted to. In my opinion if she wouldn't have pressured her mother in law to give "the kids" the business as an early inheritance , she would have been probably gotten the lions share, instead of 50 %.

I had to read your story carefully to follow the dynamics, but in doing so I can see this is no standard 2nd wife scenario, but a true stranger situation:

1.) Brother and daughter-in-law own 50%, Sister and son-in-law own other 50%.
2.) Sister dies, now son-in-law owns 50%.
3.) Son-in-law remarries.
4.) Son-in-law dies.
5.) Son-in-law's 2nd wife (who no one has met) now owns 50% of the business.

I can see how that would be uncomfortable.

[ivinsfan]

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Originally Posted by OddGuy I had to read your story carefully to follow the dynamics, but in doing so I can see this is no standard 2nd wife scenario, but a true stranger situation: 1.) Brother and daughter-in-law own 50%, Sister and son-in-law own other 50%. 2.) Sister dies, now son-in-law owns 50%. 3.) Son-in-law remarries. 4.) Son-in-law dies. 5.) Son-in-law's 2nd wife (who no one has met) now owns 50% of the business. I can see how that would be uncomfortable.

So this scenario would take more then a few years to play out....that business should have had something in writing to address number 2 and number 5 would never have happened. You can't close the barn door after the horse has left the barn.

[GravitySucks]

I'd like to gift now, but want to get closer to my SS at 70 before I run down my stash.
I guess in six more years when I'm over the ten year mark if the portfolio is still on track I'll start gifting cash to my girls.
Agree with the poster above a large one time gift would probably be put to better use than a lot of little ones that would probably be used to finance too much car.
I am thinking of paying for a family vacation this year as I've had a tough year and need time with my loved ones, but that won't cost more than a few thousand $$.

[SJ1_]

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Originally Posted by Sunset I suspect that taking them on vacations would also skip the gift designation and would further enhance the family fun memory bank. Example: on a European river cruise I saw a 70 yr old taking her granddaughter along for a nice 2 week vacation, a nice trip for an 17-19 yr old.

love the vacation idea. we have take the family on 3 cruises since our retirement
and all we great family vacations with amazing memories.

[RetNE]

We have begun to share our savings with our early thirties children and their spouses now, when they are faced with their first mortgages and expenses for their first children. We are also funding 529 plans for each grandchild.

A friend advised us one of the best uses for extra savings is to create shared family memories. At first we wondered whether our children would really want to go on vacations with us, but when we offered to rent an ocean front condo for spring vacations they readily agreed it was a great idea.