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Old 03-14-2018, 08:04 AM   #81
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Yes.

I have four close relatives who are decent, willing-to-work-hard people, who have had bad luck beyond anything I have encountered. It's hard for me to drop thousands of dollars on travel "just for fun" when I know they are struggling financially.
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Old 03-14-2018, 08:41 AM   #82
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When I look at getting that dream car - now I realize that it may be my last chance to get something like that and really enjoy driving it for many years. At some point you are too old to really enjoy it.

But we’ll probably settle for an Acura or Lexus.

We’ve had the funds to buy a nice new car for years now, and poor DH keeps updating his research. But we can’t quite get to the pull trigger stage mostly because there are so many other things keeping us really busy.
There is a site with a great name: Affordanything. com whose approach is: You can afford anything, but you can't afford everything. What's it gonna be?

It mainly for younger people but the advice is often good. Like you I can afford that fancy new car, but I can't afford the car, the increased insurance and taxes and to travel as much as I would like. I can't afford everything. So, my paid off old Toyota sits in the driveway and I keep it running well. Soon I will take it on another road trip. YIPPEEE!!!
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Old 03-14-2018, 09:21 AM   #83
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Yes. For most of us, money is not unlimited. One has to choose, to know what he really wants. That way, after he spends, no regrets.

About finding that ultimate object of desire, I read "The Paradox of Choice - Why More Is Less" (Barry Schwartz, 2004) a while back. I subscribe to his theory of being satisfied with what is "good enough". If one is picky and wants the "very best", he will never be sure of his choice after making the purchase. He will likely experience buyer's remorse and keep second-guessing himself, because everything is a compromise and the very best does not really exist.
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Old 03-14-2018, 09:52 AM   #84
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Yes, the real cost of buying something is not being able to buy something else.
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Old 03-14-2018, 10:53 AM   #85
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Yes, the real cost of buying something is not being able to buy something else.
Mods, someone has hijacked RobbieBlowThatDough's account!
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Old 03-14-2018, 10:59 AM   #86
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If I were to die soon, I would not regret not having bought or enjoyed something.
I don't think anyone regrets anything after they are dead, no matter what they did when they were alive.
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Old 03-14-2018, 12:07 PM   #87
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Certainly not after he dies. And not even while he is dying, or in the terminal phase waiting to die.

I once told an older engineer, perhaps 15 years my senior, that I did not want to regret not doing enough travel when on my deathbed.

He shook his head and said that most people dying just wanted the pain to stop.
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Old 03-14-2018, 12:50 PM   #88
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I'm sure the level of "guilt" I feel is directly related to the number of people I know personally who are willing to work hard but have much worse luck than I had.

I wonder if this isn't true in general. If our close relatives had been luckier, I'd be one of the people here saying "I give some to charity, I don't feel guilty about spending the rest on nice stuff for me."
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Old 03-14-2018, 01:45 PM   #89
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... I wonder if this isn't true in general. If our close relatives had been luckier, I'd be one of the people here saying "I give some to charity, I don't feel guilty about spending the rest on nice stuff for me."
Not universally true, although it was true with me. It's from personal experience.

The people I helped are all doing well now. It's a long story, but now that I know them better, I see that if the role were reversed, they would not help me the same way (I was observing how they refuse to help others). Not everyone has the same empathy.
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Old 03-14-2018, 03:15 PM   #90
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Yes, the real cost of buying something is not being able to buy something else.
Sure - it's all about priorities. At least for those of us who refuse to go into debt or exceed our annual safe withdrawal to buy something.

But I agree - I think someone hacked RobbieB's account!
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Old 03-14-2018, 08:03 PM   #91
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Hmm. Perhaps, but I stay within budget. I also find that I don't want as many things as I used to. After we retire we intend to sell our home and buy another in a LCOL area. I HOPE that will be a nice thing. But, it will be within budget.
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Old 03-14-2018, 08:31 PM   #92
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Mods, someone has hijacked RobbieBlowThatDough's account!
Nah, it's really me. I spend freely where I want to.

My home is modest and mortgage free. My fixed expenses are low. My living (food, drink, travel and entertainment) is large. But that's because I don't have an expensive overhead.

If I bought that 2 million dollar house I would be eating more burger and less wagyu. That would be a tragedy -
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Old 03-14-2018, 08:35 PM   #93
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Nah, it's really me. I spend freely where I want to.

My home is modest and mortgage free. My fixed expenses are low. My living (food, drink, travel and entertainment) is large. But that's because I don't have an expensive overhead.

If I bought that 2 million dollar house I would be eating more burger and less wagyu. That would be a tragedy -
Exactly! It's all in knowing what you want to blow that money on. Same here. If I traveled a lot (which I don't really want to do), maybe I wouldn't have been able to afford my wonderful dream home and landscaping project.
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Old 03-15-2018, 01:40 AM   #94
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Everything in moderation. I would not have retired if I couldn't feel good about buying a few nice things. Conversely, I could not have retired if I bought every nice thing I wanted. I feel pretty good about the balance we've struck.

Well said!
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Old 03-15-2018, 07:01 AM   #95
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Ditto to almost everything you said. I feel like after years of very disciplined saving and investing and living below our means, I can now occasionally give myself some wiggle room and by something for myself...
I wonder, if I didn't pay all the bills and handle all the finances would I feel differently?

When we were first married, I handled all the bills. Then my wife decided she didn't want to be like her mom (who never wrote a check in her life until her husband died) and decide she wanted to handle the bills.

Eventually, she got tired of doing it, so passed back the finances to me. Now, she seems a lot more comfortable spending than me.

Makes me wonder...
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Old 03-15-2018, 12:10 PM   #96
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Yes. For most of us, money is not unlimited. One has to choose, to know what he really wants. That way, after he spends, no regrets.

About finding that ultimate object of desire, I read "The Paradox of Choice - Why More Is Less" (Barry Schwartz, 2004) a while back. I subscribe to his theory of being satisfied with what is "good enough". If one is picky and wants the "very best", he will never be sure of his choice after making the purchase. He will likely experience buyer's remorse and keep second-guessing himself, because everything is a compromise and the very best does not really exist.
Being satisfied with what is "good enough" is part of my retirement strategy. For groceries I buy healthy food that is on overstock or loss leader pricing for the week. Some weeks the highlights might be organic tomatoes, grass fed beef, pesto sauce and eggplants. Other weeks it might be a big bag of avocados, shrimp and gourmet mushrooms. We eat a lot of soups, crock pot concoctions, steamer meals, stir fries and salads so the specific ingredients don't matter all that much.

For entertainment a lot of what we do is from Facebook deals, annual passes, local contests, discount event subscriptions and rush tickets. Usually there's over 100 events each week from those sources alone so the list selections are good enough, and we save 50 - 100% off regular prices.
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