Guilt about spending money on yourself !

[FI_RElater]

Robbie

If you’ gonna do all the rest- - at least BLOW THAT DOUGH on some new appliances...another 10k will hardly be missed

 

[FI_RElater]

==. spent some on an outbuilding... poured foundation, electrical, heating....
== also got a new truck last year (250 4x4 crew cab, long bed)....

we’ve already been to all 50 and to quite a few other countries {liked Aruba and Hawaii much more than Monaco / like Paris more than London, but Barcelona is very nice too, as is Dublin / didn’t really care for Rome or Istanbul ... Athens was better... } so we haven’t totally deprived ourselves... but now that we have the time we still have a few places to visit ( Oz and New Zealand, Galapagos and Machu Picchu, ...) we’ll spend the money on those trips and revisit some sites we liked

not to even mention the views we have on our back deck... the tourists will be here soon enough to enjoy them also

regret....nope

(still haven’t gotten even above 2% WR in retirement ; haven’t started SS yet ... so will have even more then)

 

[DrRoy]

Yes, I feel guilty. And then I get over it.

I'm kind of here. RE one year this month. I still feel the urge to not spend, but I'm getting over it. We only need a 1.5% WR, so we have plenty of room to spend.

You might look at the threads on "Blow that Dough!"

 

[OHjosh]

+1 Not spending on myself is how I got here. And, I realize that spending freely retirement is a process.

 

[traineeinvestor]

Gradually breaking the shackles. We can afford to travel business class (especially since DW resumed work full time with a job she loves) but have limited ourselves to long haul only and I recently purchased a 400 year old map.

Still hesitant about it but the big test will come in October when I plan to buy a car for the first time ... the financially sensible option is no car (not needed where we live), the next option is a cheap small car but I'm currently drooling over a BWM 4 series convertible (or Audi A5/Mercedes C200). We can afford it and would enjoy it but it's a lot of money for something that's a "want" rather than a "need."

 

[Jerry1]

Everything in moderation. I would not have retired if I couldn't feel good about buying a few nice things. Conversely, I could not have retired if I bought every nice thing I wanted. I feel pretty good about the balance we've struck.

 

[street]

Yes I feel guilty and I have bought things (vehicles) I wish I hadn't. LOL I never over buy and always try to get the best/sale price I can if I absolutely need the item. LOL

In life I rarely bought myself much of anything that I didn't need but wanted.

 

[audreyh1]

Still hesitant about it but the big test will come in October when I plan to buy a car for the first time ... the financially sensible option is no car (not needed where we live), the next option is a cheap small car but I'm currently drooling over a BWM 4 series convertible (or Audi A5/Mercedes C200). We can afford it and would enjoy it but it's a lot of money for something that's a "want" rather than a "need."

When I look at getting that dream car - now I realize that it may be my last chance to get something like that and really enjoy driving it for many years. At some point you are too old to really enjoy it.

But we’ll probably settle for an Acura or Lexus.

We’ve had the funds to buy a nice new car for years now, and poor DH keeps updating his research. But we can’t quite get to the pull trigger stage mostly because there are so many other things keeping us really busy.

 

[Amethyst]

For us, the deterrent from buying a luxury auto is similar to the deterrent from buying a luxury home. While we might be able to swing the purchase price, the "Everything that goes along with the purchase" costs are just too high, and don't carry value for us.

Car: Insurance, maintenance, repairs - much higher for a luxury make.

Home: All of the above, plus you almost always have to join a clubhouse (which interests us not in the least), contribute fees toward Other People's golf and tennis, etc. etc.

Gradually breaking the shackles. We can afford to travel business class (especially since DW resumed work full time with a job she loves) but have limited ourselves to long haul only and I recently purchased a 400 year old map.

Still hesitant about it but the big test will come in October when I plan to buy a car for the first time ... the financially sensible option is no car (not needed where we live), the next option is a cheap small car but I'm currently drooling over a BWM 4 series convertible (or Audi A5/Mercedes C200). We can afford it and would enjoy it but it's a lot of money for something that's a "want" rather than a "need."

 

[Koogie]

I wouldn't say I feel guilty about it, I just don't do it much for myself.

I find it incredibly easy to spend money on DW and I often pick up the tab when out with a group of friends (fortunately, they have the same habit so it more or less evens out).

I have loosened the purse strings when it comes to vacations. DW wants to spend about 10K on the house this year too. I kind of gulped when she outlined all the things she wants to do... then smiled and said the best words in the dictionary.

Yes, dear.

 

[NW-Bound]

It was my idea to buy the 2nd home in the high country more than 10 years ago. My wife was reluctant, but came along. It cost more than our main home. No guilty feeling. No regret.

 

[dunkelblau]

I know this will sound stupid but does anyone else feel guilty about buying themselves nice things ?

I don't feel guilty because I don't buy myself nice things, except for the occasional thrift store find. Reason is I don't believe that my elevated income and spending power entitle me to live better than the next guy. My dad always said "don't be Jones"; go ahead and earn as much as you honestly can or want, but never spend in a manner that anyone around you would notice, even if they can't see you doing it. So as a rule I don't buy anything that costs more than the average person around me can afford.

Maybe my take on this is stronger than typical but I think most people have at least a twinge of this feeling. FWIW I don't have any misgivings about people who choose conspicuous consumption (or leisure, or philanthropy), and it wouldn't bother me if my heirs blow their inheritance on bling that they post on Facebook. Just not my cup of tea.

 

[GravitySucks]

When I look at getting that dream car - now I realize that it may be my last chance to get something like that and really enjoy driving it for many years. At some point you are too old to really enjoy it.

But we’ll probably settle for an Acura or Lexus.
y.

Agreed!
At 59 I can see getting by on only 2 more car purchases and probably won't go over 4 more so if not now, (next car) when?
But to me the Lexus would be the luxury car. Heck, a Toyota Avalon would seem like luxury compared to most of the junk i drove back in the days. Maybe the BMW or Audi on a lease.

 

[RobbieB]

Robbie

If you’ gonna do all the rest- - at least BLOW THAT DOUGH on some new appliances...another 10k will hardly be missed

Oh yeah, a new fridge will be coming after it's done as well as a new stove. The dishwasher is new only a couple of years old is energy / water efficient and does a great job cleaning the dishes. I'm also going to get the best range hood I can find (at least 500 CFM blower) so I can blacken / sear fish inside w/o smoking the house out.

 

[ls99]

Guilt? Heck no. Although there is not much stuff I need. Private Tango lessons are fun and well worth the $.

 

[eytonxav]

As a car guy, yes I feel guilty spending for things that can only be enjoyed by me.

 

[W2R]

Not at all! At least not usually. I wish I had more ideas of nice things that I might actually want.

I have been thinking about this thread, and realized that I left out something that I should have mentioned, to be completely honest.

I actually feel guilty about NOT spending money on myself. My entire family has always been "on my case" for not longing for, valuing, and wisely spending considerably more money than I do. I think they believe I'm a nice girl who is slightly off my rocker. I'm not! I'm just different from them when it comes to money and spending.

I try to spend money because I value their opinons. That is always in the back of my mind. I never spend enough that I feel they would approve, though.

 

[Nature Lover]

I don't feel guilty about spending on myself; spending decisions take into account want vs. needs, and always consider cost vs value. I live comfortably, but not extravagantly, by most ER standards; so I could spend a lot more than I do. Not "wanting" more, and the "value proposition" influence spending more than any consideration that such spending would be for me.

 

[NW-Bound]

I don't feel guilty because I don't buy myself nice things, except for the occasional thrift store find. Reason is I don't believe that my elevated income and spending power entitle me to live better than the next guy. My dad always said "don't be Jones"; go ahead and earn as much as you honestly can or want, but never spend in a manner that anyone around you would notice, even if they can't see you doing it. So as a rule I don't buy anything that costs more than the average person around me can afford...

One's definition of the average guy depends on his environment and the people he encounters through the day. I also do not want to stand out with conspicuous consumption. However, I do enjoy spending on things that bring me pleasure, and that may not be what the "average guy" enjoys. He does not know what I spend my money on.

When we refuse to splurge on something, we like to think that it is because we do not see the value. Could it be rather guilt avoidance? There may be some of that.

Here's an example. We have never paid for business class seats on an international flight although we know how nice it is when we were on business trips and it was paid by megacorps. Recently, when I brought it up and said perhaps we should upgrade, my wife said that the money could go a lot towards helping orphaned and abandoned kids in orphanages ran by Buddhist monks and nuns, and Catholic sisters in 3rd world countries. We regularly send money to support these organizations via people we know who are more actively involved. A few additional thousands can really make a difference for these kids.

 

[Bestwifeever]

I don’t spend a lot of money on myself but I am stealth replacing DH’s wardrobe. Made him try on some well-fitting jeans/pants at Nordstrom with a cute young salesperson whose opinion for some reason he valued more than mine . DH has a very nice shape for an old coot and even he was stunned to see how good he looked. He did check the price and balked a moment but I brushed it off with how long they would last, can’t take it with you, etc etc. He went back and bought another pair the next week. I guess it’s not a stealth operation anymore, and maybe since I get the pleaure of looking at him that I really am spending it on myself....

 

[kgtest]

To make my story even more ridiculous my son and DIL got me an iPhone 5S about three years ago and put me on their company plan, they own a small business. So I haven't paid squat for the phone or phone service. Just seems outrageous to pay that much for a phone. My 5S is acting up but I'm going to milk it as long as I can. Yes, I know I'm a cheap unreasonable bastard. Even with a new phone I'm still on their plan and will pay nothing for service.

For a second I thought I bumped into my father. I pay for him, mom, and grandma cell. I am pretty sure he finagled our Netflix login too. I guess more inheritance for me

 

[Jeffman52]

Sometimes. Recently I have had an interest in some Tacoma boots. I've had it up on my computer screen a number of times over the last 6 months.... all I had to do was hit ENTER and they were on the way. And I still haven't done so. I just don't typically buy things so for me this would be unusual...... I know that I would rather be able to retire early... maybe that's whats keep me from it.

 

[audreyh1]

I don’t spend a lot of money on myself but I am stealth replacing DH’s wardrobe. Made him try on some well-fitting jeans/pants at Nordstrom with a cute young salesperson whose opinion for some reason he valued more than mine . DH has a very nice shape for an old coot and even he was stunned to see how good he looked. He did check the price and balked a moment but I brushed it off with how long they would last, can’t take it with you, etc etc. He went back and bought another pair the next week. I guess it’s not a stealth operation anymore, and maybe since I get the pleaure of looking at him that I really am spending it on myself....

Cool! I think you earned your title!

 

[NW-Bound]

For us, the deterrent from buying a luxury auto is similar to the deterrent from buying a luxury home. While we might be able to swing the purchase price, the "Everything that goes along with the purchase" costs are just too high, and don't carry value for us.

Car: Insurance, maintenance, repairs - much higher for a luxury make.

Home: All of the above, plus you almost always have to join a clubhouse (which interests us not in the least), contribute fees toward Other People's golf and tennis, etc. etc.

I don't know about luxury homes, but your description sounds like something outside of our price range.

Where I live, about 1 mile away is a very nice subdivision where the homes are on 1/2 acre or more. No clubhouse, not golf or tennis (some have their own tennis court). The price is in the 7-figure, and I would not mind owning a home there, and I could if I did not ER. One cannot have everything.

About a luxury car, that is something I can have, within reason of course, but I don't enjoy one enough to think it's worth it. I would have to pamper it, and get mad if someone puts a ding on the door or scratches the paint. It would be too much aggravation for me, unless I were so rich I would just trade it in so as not having to see that scratch.

So, being homebodies when not traveling, we would enjoy an expensive home more than an expensive car, but the difference in price rules the former out, while we do not care for the latter.

 

[Cayman]

I don’t spend a lot of money on myself but I am stealth replacing DH’s wardrobe. Made him try on some well-fitting jeans/pants at Nordstrom with a cute young salesperson whose opinion for some reason he valued more than mine . DH has a very nice shape for an old coot and even he was stunned to see how good he looked. He did check the price and balked a moment but I brushed it off with how long they would last, can’t take it with you, etc etc. He went back and bought another pair the next week. I guess it’s not a stealth operation anymore, and maybe since I get the pleaure of looking at him that I really am spending it on myself....

Love this! That's money well spent on both of you.