Guilt about spending money on yourself !

[frayne]

I know this will sound stupid but does anyone else feel guilty about buying themselves nice things ?

 

[REWahoo]

We can't have nice things. DW is constantly pointing out why.

 

[marko]

Nope. (see my signature)

 

[racy]

For me, no for the big things: vehicles, motorcycles, vacations, etc. But, for the small things, I've been spoiled by 'treasure hunting' at Goodwill. Now, for example, when I see new socks selling for $20, I think 'no way'!

 

[joeea]

I know this will sound stupid but does anyone else feel guilty about buying themselves nice things ?

Yes.

One of my personality traits is that I tend to spend freely on others, but struggle to spend anything on myself.

Intellectually I realize that it is foolish and that we need not worry any longer about money, but I still agonize over "wasting" money on myself. Even for small purchases, I find myself hesitating.

Perhaps it's because we didn't have much growing up. Perhaps because when my wife and I were first married we banked my entire income to save for a down payment on a house. Perhaps I'm "cheap". Perhaps I don't feel worthy. Whatever.

I'm working on it. But yes, I do feel guilty.

 

[Car-Guy]

No. However, sometimes I feel [-]bad[/-] stupid when I "way over spend" on one of my [-]hobbies[/-] vices.

 

[Dawg52]

No, but I don't over do it. At least I don't think so.....

 

[Dtail]

Not sure yet. Working my way through the beginning of retirement.

 

[ivinsfan]

For me, no for the big things: vehicles, motorcycles, vacations, etc. But, for the small things, I've been spoiled by 'treasure hunting' at Goodwill. Now, for example, when I see new socks selling for $20, I think 'no way'!

As for me the idea of buying and wearing other peoples used socks is a big "no way'...

 

[mystang52]

We can't have nice things. DW is constantly pointing out why.

No. I give to charities and give money to my grandchildren (even though both sets of parents are doing very well, financially, so they don't need my money). I have no guilt on selfish purchases. I really do not believe I spend foolishly, but I no longer deprive myself.
REWahoo and I may be married to the same woman. My DW often tempers our purchases.

 

[MichaelB]

Guilty? No. We have recently upped the travel budget, and when the kids commented on that (in a good way) my response was to point out that I am now a GOFER that SKIs. That’s

Garrulous
Old
Fart
Enjoying
Retirement

Spending the
Kids
Inheritance

 

[REWahoo]

REWahoo and I may be married to the same woman. My DW often tempers our purchases.

Yep, DW tempers our purchases by frequently pointing out, "This is why we can't have nice things."

 

[audreyh1]

Yep, DW tempers our purchases by frequently pointing out, "This is why we can't have nice things."

What happens to your nice things? Kids or grandkids? Pets? You?

 

[REWahoo]

What happens to your nice things? Kids or grandkids? Pets? You?

Yes.

 

[NW-Bound]

Nice is measured on a continuous scale. We tend to settle on what we think are "nice enough". These become LBYM-quality now that we have more money. We were not born into a rich family, but we were not hungry either. We were taught to not waste stuff, and it sticks.

We have seen relatives who spend freely on themselves, but become stingy when giving to others. We tend to be more generous to others, meaning children, relatives, and strangers. It's our nature, and we see no reason to change.

 

[Choices]

I volunteered around needy folks for a long time and will always feel that “ there but for the Grace of God, go I”
I feel guilty with a new car and we will soon look at pickups to replace my 2004 Highlander. My only other crazy fling is to buy the softened cream cheese instead of the block type.
We will probably leave a lot of money on the table....

 

[harley]

I volunteered around needy folks for a long time and will always feel that “ there but for the Grace of God, go I”
I feel guilty with a new car and we will soon look at pickups to replace my 2004 Highlander. My only other crazy fling is to buy the softened cream cheese instead of the block type.
We will probably leave a lot of money on the table....

Don't do it! I've been thinking that I'd have to replace my 2004 Highlander for years. But it just keeps going and going. I think it's the best all around car I've ever owned. I look at pick ups with a bit of envy, but I just can't bring myself to get rid of a great vehicle. Especially now that we leave it garaged in MD for 6 months while we're in FL. The mileage increase is slowing down because of that. I'll hit 200K this summer. I think it will outlast me.

As far as buying nice things, we always have. That's one of the reasons so much of what we have is old. It was high quality, and that tends to last. Mostly we don't buy nice things, we do things that make us happy. We have enough things. Even for Christmas and birthdays I tell people if I can't eat it or drink it, I don't want it. Of course, that has resulted in a huge collection of teas, hot sauces, and oils and vinegars. So it goes.

 

[NW-Bound]

About not throwing things away, we do not upgrade just to have the latest stuff. Hence our toys are outdated.

The other day, I thought of all the things that I was the first to buy in my family (siblings and close relatives that I know). First to have a PC (1983). The first CD player (1985). The first camcorder (1986). First to have cable TV (1986). First to have surround sound (1992). First to have analog cell phone (1996). First to have digital cell phone (1998). First to have broadband modem and WiFi (1999-2000?). First to have HDTV (2001). First to have a digital camera (2003). First to have a handheld GPS (2004). There are others that I might have missed.

But the early stuff got obsolete so fast. I also lost interest in electronic toys, so became the last in the family to use a smartphone!

 

[Corporateburnout]

For us spending money has not been a problem. We spend more on travel, entertainment, dining and sporting events every year since we retired. I tell my kids that we're spending their inheritance and don't feel guilty about it one bit.

 

[candrew]

RobbieB - would you like to share your thoughts?

 

[razztazz]

I wouldn't say I feel "guilty", but I always have that internal conversation with myself about "Do you really need it?" And What if you need the money later for something important...?

 

[Chuckanut]

I don't have guilt about spending. But, I do feel guilty at times if I spend a lot for something that is not that important to me. I find myself asking:

Should I buy a new iPhone or put the money towards an other trip to Sunny Beach this Winter?

Usually, the beach wins.

 

[Sunset]

I wouldn't say I feel "guilty", but I always have that internal conversation with myself about "Do you really need it?" And What if you need the money later for something important...?

I finally quieted down the inner voice, by tracking our spending, and realizing I can spend up to X per year and not risk sleeping under a bridge or being toothless.

So now I feel fine if I buy a more expensive thing here or there..

However I will admit, I had to hem and haw when I dropped about $32,000 on a brand new van, instead of buying a cheaper $23,000 brand new camry.

That is when I decided I should track my spending to be sure next time.

 

[frayne]

RobbieB - would you like to share your thoughts?

Not really but here goes, been retired for twelve years currently sixty-six, no debt for the last twenty years, seven figure portfolio, nice cars, nice house, kids college educated and doing well on their own, always lived within my means but I want (but don't quite need one) a new phone and am feeling guilty about buying a new $700 iPhone. Stupid and no good reason but just doesn't seem right.

I know first world problems !

 

[cyber888]

Yeah, Im thinking I like to buy that shiny sports car, but maybe the wife, relatives, and friends may need some money [emoji33][emoji56]