Hard Reminder: Health is not Certain

[ut2sua]

OP, thanks for sharing. Definitely a great reminder for many of us (my family and I for sure).
We are praying for a full recovery for your DW.

 

[Boho]

This link might be of some assistance to the OP & spouse:

https://www.sepsis.org/education/patients-family/sepsis-survivors/

That website has information on wound cleaning that I didn't know: "rinse it and the surrounding area with clean (not soapy) water..." The "not soapy" part is new to me. And they don't mention "clean and dry" or the newer guidance "clean and moist." I thought petroleum jelly was good for wounds and that you shouldn't let them dry out. But I guess petroleum jelly could get contaminated just like soap. They do say "If desired, apply an antibiotic cream or ointment." I think I'll get some of that.

 

[Koolau]

Many years ago, I lost my little sis due to sepsis. It went very fast. Best wishes and blessings to your DW.

 

[Closet_Gamer]

I appreciate your post and will be thinking positive thoughts in your direction.

We also recently had a reminder that health is uncertain. It wasn't me or DH, it's our sister-in-law who is DHs brother's wife.

A few weeks ago she became short of breath. It had happened to a lesser degree earlier but suddenly it got awful. Turns out it's lung cancer. She has never smoked. The doctor called it Stage 4 but so far they have not found other sites. She is expecting chemotherapy and a long struggle but they are ready to take on whatever is needed.

Of all the DH's siblings and spouses she is one of the youngest. They live in NJ, outside NYC so they are in a good area for medical care. Her family is close by. Their 2 daughters are adults and her oldest is 29 and in a steady relationship with a guy the whole family loves. I'm hoping that she can get through this and see her daughter get married and I'm crossing my fingers that maybe she'd have a grandchild!

So yes, life is uncertain. And I wish they were in the UK because here in the USA they will meet their deductible for 2020 and certainly again in early 2021!

Closet_Gamer, please keep us posted on her progress.

I'm very sorry to hear about this. I hope she fights through it to see that wedding and grandchild! During DW's illness my sister-in-law told me not to underestimate what a Mom will go through to see her kids again.

Good luck & God Bless.

 

[Closet_Gamer]

Considerably worse than my own bout with sepsis, (which was the worst thing I've ever experienced), and I thought mine was bad enough - be on the lookout for PTSD though, which is apparently not an uncommon after effect......my own experience with it was mercifully short lived, (depression, anger - though thankfully mine was internal and not directed at DW).

Good luck!

Thanks. Definitely on the lookout for mental health issues. We're already wrestling with them now. Her return to wakefulness has been quite difficult becuase she has no recollection of how she got there. Didn't even remember going to the emergency room. Due to Covid overload, the NHS hospital has had to use their facilities in unplanned ways. One was to use an ICU originally intended for short, overnight stays as a longer term room. DW really came back to awareness in a windowless ward with only flourescent lighting with 15 or so other patients + a vent/trach tube, needles, beeps, etc of the ICU. Its been brutal. She wasn't sure she was even still in England.

Due to the efforts of a wonderful dietician named Danni who became concerned about DW's emotional situation, last night she was transferred to a ward that was designed for ICU recovery. Still a ward, but she woke up this morning to sun and a of the Thames. I can't even keep track of the number of people who've invested their time to change my wife's life.

I'm speaking with a psychologist next week to understand how we best start laying foundations on the mental health front.

 

[Closet_Gamer]

This link might be of some assistance to the OP & spouse:

https://www.sepsis.org/education/patients-family/sepsis-survivors/

Thank you! Super helpful.

 

[Closet_Gamer]

Thank you to everyone for your kind responses and well wishes.

The most amazing thing happened last night.

Yesterday I dropped off an ipad mini in an easy to hold case. Last night DW's best friend in the US called me in a bit of flutter saying that DW was texting her. She initially thought I might have been playing a bad joke.

Nope. DW had opened imessage, clicked the right chain, & texted her. Her friend called her back on Facetime. DW can't speak due to the tube, but they connected for 20 minutes.

Her first step back towards normality. She reached out to friend.

Amazing.

 

[Closet_Gamer]

Remember also that not at anytime were you worried about going bankrupt, or whether some insurance company would deny the life saving efforts of the NHS.

The insurance point has occured to me on several occasions.

Because of my career and the megacorp I work for, we've always had very good insurance. The usual hoops to jump through, but at the end of the day really fantastic coverage. If we were in the US, we wouldn't even have blinked at heading to the ER. Even moreso because our financial situation means that we could ride out a $25k deductible or several years of them back-to-back.

But so many people are not in that situation. It's occurred to me that in the UK, a plumber can pick up the phone, call 111 (or 999) and wind up with more-or-less the same experience we had. I'm sure there is some variation by geography but in the same situation and same mortality odds, the plumber's wife goes on ECMO, same as mine. The estimated cost of ECMO is $5-10k/day. DW was on it for 15 days.

There is also the unseen costs that crop up. I've had to jump the train into London several times. Usually with DD or my brother who came to help. £40 round trip tickets, £10 to park. Easy enough for me, but really a burden for lots of people. I'm hiring some help around the house for when I go back to work in January. Totally not even an option for most people.

The whole thing has me thinking about how to better support people in these situations. A $500 debit card to a family with a sick loved one could be huge.

 

[bobbyr]

Thank you to everyone for your kind responses and well wishes.

The most amazing thing happened last night.

Yesterday I dropped off an ipad mini in an easy to hold case. Last night DW's best friend in the US called me in a bit of flutter saying that DW was texting her. She initially thought I might have been playing a bad joke.

Nope. DW had opened imessage, clicked the right chain, & texted her. Her friend called her back on Facetime. DW can't speak due to the tube, but they connected for 20 minutes.

Her first step back towards normality. She reached out to friend.

Amazing.

that is so cool! Wonderful news!

 

[Alan]

that is so cool! Wonderful news!

Indeed it is

 

[Nemo2]

Thank you! Super helpful.

My brush with sepsis was ~ 18 months ago, (brought on by a bladder infection), and post-hospital/ post PTSD (where I actually tried to calculate how long it would take me to die if I stopped eating/drinking......do not underestimate the aftereffects of this condition), I read a number of personal testimonials.

One I recall, (not in exact detail, but close enough), was by a young, athletic, woman (31 IIRC), and it took her a year to get back to normal.

Me, I was stair climbing, using the elliptical, beforehand......post hospital the most I could do was 2 minutes at a time on the machine.

(DW was just reading over my shoulder and commented that, if I hadn't been treated semi-promptly, (I was slurring, stumbling, shivering), I would have likely been in ICU also. I was in ER the day before I was admitted, and sent home; next day, when I returned, someone recognized the symptoms.

Sepsis is not something to take lightly.)


All the best to you both!

 

[Carol1862]

Thank you for sharing your story. Best news is that against the odds she will recover. I’m sure you’re all still feeling it’s been surreal. Like you said, she was healthy, blowing out birthday candles and almost overnight fighting for her life.

Never take our health for granted. Enjoy everyday.

May everyone have a healthy holiday season

 

[TDub]

What an incredible story. Thank you for sharing!

I’ve also never seen that Rich, Broke, or Dead calculator before so thanks for sharing that.

Here’s to a full recovery and a return to ordinary days—such blessings in themselves.

 

[Sue J]

Thank you to everyone for your kind responses and well wishes.

The most amazing thing happened last night.

Yesterday I dropped off an ipad mini in an easy to hold case. Last night DW's best friend in the US called me in a bit of flutter saying that DW was texting her. She initially thought I might have been playing a bad joke.

Nope. DW had opened imessage, clicked the right chain, & texted her. Her friend called her back on Facetime. DW can't speak due to the tube, but they connected for 20 minutes.

Her first step back towards normality. She reached out to friend.

Amazing.

Oh, this made me get all teary eyed. I'm so glad she's making steps on her way back to normal!

The whole thing has me thinking about how to better support people in these situations. A $500 debit card to a family with a sick loved one could be huge.

That's exactly what we did for SIL. DH and his siblings texted back and forth about sending a flower arrangement and then one of them suggested a debit card instead. They will need it for tolls, hospital parking and meals when she has to go into NYC for medical appointments. We all Paypal-ed one sibling who took care of it and got it to them the day she got home from the hospital.

 

[audreyh1]

Thank you to everyone for your kind responses and well wishes.

The most amazing thing happened last night.

Yesterday I dropped off an ipad mini in an easy to hold case. Last night DW's best friend in the US called me in a bit of flutter saying that DW was texting her. She initially thought I might have been playing a bad joke.

Nope. DW had opened imessage, clicked the right chain, & texted her. Her friend called her back on Facetime. DW can't speak due to the tube, but they connected for 20 minutes.

Her first step back towards normality. She reached out to friend.

Amazing.

Wow, great news!

 

[38Chevy454]

C_G, good news on the recovery progress! Your story is one that demonstrates how fragile life can be. Going great one day and then all hell breaks loose another. Sepsis is a very bad thing and glad to hear that the doctors and lab figured out an effective antibiotic to treat your wife.

 

[pb4uski]

...The most amazing thing happened last night.

Yesterday I dropped off an ipad mini in an easy to hold case. Last night DW's best friend in the US called me in a bit of flutter saying that DW was texting her. She initially thought I might have been playing a bad joke.

Nope. DW had opened imessage, clicked the right chain, & texted her. Her friend called her back on Facetime. DW can't speak due to the tube, but they connected for 20 minutes.

Her first step back towards normality. She reached out to friend.

Amazing.

The beginning of a Christmas miracle I hope!

 

[Bamaman]

I'm so sorry for what your family's been through. The sepsis could happen to anyone after surgery. We'll put her on our prayer list.

My wife's having mid foot arthritis surgery 12/31. This will be her 7th surgery in 2 years. She's going to be in the hospital 3 days and in rehab 3 weeks. The surgeon said this will be the worst surgery she's ever experienced as she cannot walk for 2-3 mos. And her arthritis is the worst he's ever seen.

Our opinion of the NHS is not so good. We were in Weybridge visiting our niece, and she shortly thereafter underwent treatment for uterine cancer. The NHS should have done surgery before chemo/radiation. We brought her back to the U.S., and she didn't make it--44 years old. Had she come home for treatment, we think she'd still be alive.

 

[Nemo2]

Bamaman: What can be said? So sad about your niece. Hope your wife will be running and jumping in three months though!

Hang in.

 

[NW-Bound]

Our opinion of the NHS is not so good. We were in Weybridge visiting our niece, and she shortly thereafter underwent treatment for uterine cancer. The NHS should have done surgery before chemo/radiation. We brought her back to the U.S., and she didn't make it--44 years old. Had she come home for treatment, we think she'd still be alive.

With some types of cancer, the protocol is to do chemo+radiation prior to surgery to shrink the tumor before excising it. Then, a more extensive adjuvant course of chemo is applied after the surgery to kill any stray cancerous cells that they miss.

Without knowing the details of your niece's treatment, I just want to mention that pre-surgery chemo+radiation is also done here in the US for certain cancer types.

 

[aja8888]

With some types of cancer, the protocol is to do chemo+radiation prior to surgery to shrink the tumor before excising it. Then, a more extensive adjuvant course of chemo is applied after the surgery to kill any stray cancerous cells that they miss.

This is exactly what M.D. Anderson did for my next door neighbors uterine cancer this past several months. She is now almost through with the second round of chemo after her surgery,

 

[SpinDoctorTX]

Great post! I'm so happy that you DW is pulling through, Closet_Gamer. Your story is inspiring, and has lifted my spirits as we spent Christmas alone with our cat rather than gathering with the family just down the road a bit. We're so ready for the vaccine.

 

[Closet_Gamer]

I'm so sorry for what your family's been through. The sepsis could happen to anyone after surgery. We'll put her on our prayer list.

My wife's having mid foot arthritis surgery 12/31. This will be her 7th surgery in 2 years. She's going to be in the hospital 3 days and in rehab 3 weeks. The surgeon said this will be the worst surgery she's ever experienced as she cannot walk for 2-3 mos. And her arthritis is the worst he's ever seen.

Our opinion of the NHS is not so good. We were in Weybridge visiting our niece, and she shortly thereafter underwent treatment for uterine cancer. The NHS should have done surgery before chemo/radiation. We brought her back to the U.S., and she didn't make it--44 years old. Had she come home for treatment, we think she'd still be alive.

I am so very sorry about your niece.

Hope you're wife's surgery comes together without incident!

 

[Golden sunsets]

Closet Gamer; I have no advice or stories for you but wanted to express my prayers and good wishes for you, your family and DW.

 

[Golden sunsets]

I'm so sorry for what your family's been through. The sepsis could happen to anyone after surgery. We'll put her on our prayer list.

My wife's having mid foot arthritis surgery 12/31. This will be her 7th surgery in 2 years. She's going to be in the hospital 3 days and in rehab 3 weeks. The surgeon said this will be the worst surgery she's ever experienced as she cannot walk for 2-3 mos. And her arthritis is the worst he's ever seen.

Our opinion of the NHS is not so good. We were in Weybridge visiting our niece, and she shortly thereafter underwent treatment for uterine cancer. The NHS should have done surgery before chemo/radiation. We brought her back to the U.S., and she didn't make it--44 years old. Had she come home for treatment, we think she'd still be alive.

Bamaman; So sorry for your loss.