having a social life while saving money??

[marko]

I'd start by looking at your right hand in your avatar photo.

There's part of your problem/opportunity.

(hint: The $tarbucks cup...you DO know that McD's has a large coffee for a $1, right?)

 

[Amethyst]

Indeed, I had to remind myself of what it was like to be 30 and still enjoy shopping at Target (I think Target was around back then, and I know I loved going there at some point). A lot of things were fun at 30, that simply wouldn't appeal to me now.

Although, there's no need to frighten OP about getting older. Mr. A. and I did go parasailing for the first (and probably only) time this year and enjoyed it greatly, and he still adores roller coasters.

It's funny seeing all the old geezers on the forum talk about what is fun.

 

[pj.mask]

To add detail: I’m a just few years past 30 and had my first kid at 28. We socialize with coworkers, neighbors, and long time friends. Although the majority tend to have megacorp high income high responsibility type jobs.

I went out a lot when I was younger and looking for someone to date. Pubs, dive bars, restaurants. But the people I hung out with were not into showing off (spending money without value) and didn’t care what others did. Like going to casinos, I went along for the ride and spent $10-20 with free drinks. Others spent $500.

When I was engaged, we went out less often but went to nicer places where the focus was on conversation and sharing special experiences (fancy food/drinks).

Now with kids, going out is rare because: we are tired from work/kids, we enjoy spending our free time with the kids, taking kids out with you can be like managing a circus, and finding someone you trust to watch the kids can be difficult. Price/cost doesn’t come into the equation.

I know several of people around my age without kids, both married and single. The ones who go out regularly and always talk about new restaurants, etc. just don’t have the same values as us (prestige over quality, appearance over conversation, etc.). I have never had a problem hanging out with friends cheaply - from cooking out, swimming in pools, camping, or (in nice weather) just hanging out on the back porch (or patio of a business). The focus for us is people and not consumption. Although we don’t save money (last party we hosted included a box of king crab) that isn’t required to have fun.

 

[aja8888]

It's funny seeing all the old geezers on the forum talk about what is fun.

Since I am also an old geezer.............

I'll bet to her we are ALL old geezers.

 

[Go-NoGo]

+1

The way my ex-FA phrased it regarding spending money: "you are really transferring your wealth to someone else. Is it worth it or necessary?'

"Take care of your money, someday it will take care of you"

That phrase made an impact on me and I have tried to LBYM for a long time ever since.

 

[travelbug_ali]

okay, I can't even start to reply to everything...it's overwhelming but I legit appreciate people giving advice, because that's what I'm here for...

to address just a couple of things, I LOVE my friends to death, they have been with me (most of them) since college or soon after, and to steal my brother's phrase, they are my "ride or dies!"

and honestly this has been a tough year for me...first turning 30, and then ending a LTR this winter...it has sucked, and yes I admit I probably have had a retail therapy problem, but I'm digging out of my hole and trying to live my best life now. but I really don't see myself beekeeping or building houses or canoeing or making craft beers...those just aren't my interests..I DO need to hit more free/cheaper concerts though

entertainment spending for may

travel: $400 (road trip, I went through my credit card statement and I think I found most of the charges, so I rounded to this)

target: $105

amazon: $52

paint and sip: $25 (groupon)

concert: $88 (I bought a ticket for my friend, because she had done the same for me last time)

eating out: $182

gym: $79 (do I count this?)

so $852 without gym, $931 with gym.


for june so far...

eating out: $67
target: $22
amazon: $66

so $155, that's it! and really some of the amazon stuff is household stuff.


so...thoughts?

oh I need to add about my debt/savings...

about $19,000 left in school debt
owe about $8,000 on my car, payments are like $370 a month
credit cards have maybe $2,000 on them
no other debts!

savings:
I don't have a 401k yet but I do have almost $5,000 set aside for emergencies

my ex owes me like $1500 but I assume I'm never getting that back

 

[Aerides]

Those numbers don't sound extravagant at all, but it all depends on your budget.

What you need to start with looks something like:

X = net pay
-1 = 401k or retirement account
-2 = taxable savings supplemental to 401k
-3 = non-discretionary (rent, car, gas, basics, food, phone)
-4 = discretionary-but-not-giving-up (gym, cable, netflix, etc.)
= 5 = play money. What's leftover? If your above expenses exceed the number you get to here, then you need to reduce. If they don't, but you still don't like them (and still need to increase #1 or #2, then figure out what works.

ETA: to some those numbers may still sound extravagant. We have a great number of folks here who would never pay for a gym, period. And many who would rather never see the inside of a restaurant. But many who do. The key is to find a balance that works with your goals. Also the above assumes you don't have debts to pay, in which case add those to your non-discretionary bucket.

 

[EarlyBirdly]

Most people will never save money because they have some weird hang-ups related to "depriving" themselves. They don't buy the really nice car that has ALL that they really need. Nope, they buy the most expensive version with all the options for fear of missing out or depriving themselves of something others might have. It's not rational and is all emotion based.

Or, more simply stated: Buy it all now, figure out finances and save later.

A few posters above have it correct. Figure out your financial and savings plans first and then go Hog Wild if you like with the remaining funds.

So, in the above example, one is forced to really THINK when buying that car. " If I select the extra 3k in options, I will have to dip into money previously saved for other purposes. Do I really want to do that ? "

Otherwise the Internal Dialogue is more along the lines of: " Well, okay, I have the money. I'll just save more next Month." We all know....THAT never happens.

Finances and FIRE are actually very simple.

If you put the Horse in FRONT of the Cart, you will get to your destination much quicker.

 

[travelbug_ali]

Those numbers don't sound extravagant at all, but it all depends on your budget.

What you need to start with looks something like:

X = net pay
-1 = 401k or retirement account
-2 = taxable savings supplemental to 401k
-3 = non-discretionary (rent, car, gas, basics, food, phone)
-4 = discretionary-but-not-giving-up (gym, cable, netflix, etc.)
= 5 = play money. What's leftover? If your above expenses exceed the number you get to here, then you need to reduce. If they don't, but you still don't like them (and still need to increase #1 or #2, then figure out what works.

ETA: to some those numbers may still sound extravagant. We have a great number of folks here who would never pay for a gym, period. And many who would rather never see the inside of a restaurant. But many who do. The key is to find a balance that works with your goals. Also the above assumes you don't have debts to pay, in which case add those to your non-discretionary bucket.

I just have my entertainment spending figured out for now, but I can start looking over everything for may, everything I earned (salary so easy to figure out) and everything I spent. I'm embarrassed to say I have never really done a budget.

but I know I used to spend more money, and I am trying to be better now.

 

[Aerides]

I'm embarrassed to say I have never really done a budget.

At your age, neither has almost anyone else. No need for embarrassment. By starting to get serious now, you'll be well ahead of your peers, and likely ER earlier than many of us managed too here.

 

[Music Lover]

If you have a car an easy way to save money is to offer to be DD on occasion when out with your friends. They spend $50 on drinks and you spend $5 on pop.

When dining out eat first and just order an appetizer instead of a full meal. If anyone asks just say that you're not hungry.

 

[Cassius King]

You're in fine shape. Those debt numbers are not bad and you're putting a plan in place at 30yo. Set some saving goals first. If you're employer has a 401k with a match, start with investing enough to get the full match. From there I'd boost the savings or start a Roth. Don't get too aggressive though. You have only just turned 30 and have time on your side. After the above have been started, leave yourself some money on the side to have fun with. Enjoy the journey.

 

[Jerry1]

I have never really done a budget.

Money and diets are very similar. Not sure if you’ve ever been on a diet or tried to lose weight, but when I finally got tired of being overweight, I did the weight watchers thing. The main thing I got out of WW was tracking my eating in a honest objective manor. My best example of how this helped me was that I never realized that the Jethro size bowels of cereal I was eating amounted to more like 4 servings, not the one+ I thought I was eating.

Get serious about your budget and you will indeed be better off in the long run. Maybe you can be a little more casual about it after you’ve done it for a year, but start your financial nutrition plan by strictly and honestly tracking your spending. That will help you immensely when it comes to setting goals and the priorities that go along with achieving your goals.

At 30, it’s not that important to focus on retirement. Focus on getting your debt payed off, getting serious about saving and, to the extent you can, make a lot of money. 30 to 50 are big time earning years. For me, my 40’s made the difference. Saving is great, but making a lot of money at something you enjoy is great too. Don’t neglect your career. It’s the best investment you can make.

 

[Badger]

Someone who is truly frugal and saving for their future should also apply this philosophy to their social life, travel, and entertainment. It should not be a problem to be creative. We went (and continue to go) to matinee movies, have company over for dinner and games, have a night out with the guys for comradery, a hamburger, and beer, wife plays a lot of tennis on a variety of teams at public tennis courts, lots of travel by camping and backpacking, attending clubs for bicycles, motorcycles, kayaking/canoeing, camping, etc. The possibilities for a frugal and fun social life are endless and only require a little thought and planning for what you enjoy.


Cheers!

 

[travelbug_ali]

I am so relieved that my situation is not as bad as I worried it was...lol I was legit having anxiety when I posted my entertainment numbers because I thought people would start picking at it

I was feeling bummed that I have been working for 5 years and I am worth...nothing. actually I am probably worth less than nothing I guess, moneywise. it doesn't seem like that can be true but it is

and I guess I need to find an outdoorsey BF or outdoorsey friends because I don't own anything like that. where do you put tents and canoes and stuff in an apartment?? lol

 

[Jeffman52]

Looking at what you posted the first thing I see is that you have a 5K emergency fund. Great work at having that set aside! Try not to go further in dept and if something comes up and you need to dip into the 5K, do so, but make sure you pay that back into your fund.

No 401K - Even if you start putting minimal amounts in there start ASAP. The beauty of retirement funds is the power of compound interest over time. I bolded "time" because its key to being able to retire early or at the very least, retire with dignity. Every year if you get a raise, put some of that into retirement savings. Since it wasnt money you had before, you wont miss it. Over a number of years you will be astounded at how much you can put away and not miss it from your budget.

Once you have retirement funds saved up, don't dip into them until you are ready to retire. One of the more common mistakes is to take loans against your 401K or to just take money early out of there and pay the taxes and penalties. Nothing short-circuits your retirement more than dipping into those funds and losing the power of compound interest on what you took out.

Last - Congratulations for thinking about this so early in life. By starting now, you can still have fun but also find yourself later in life in a good position to retire.

 

[Amethyst]

I have a semantics question. Is "old geezer" tautology? Can you be old without being a geezer, or vice versa?

I believe "geezer" is derived from "geyser," but I always think of "wheezer" (not Weezer) and so I imagine a geezer is someone with breathing issues.

I'll bet to her we are ALL old geezers.

 

[aja8888]

Can you be old without being a geezer, or vice versa?

Sure you can, but probably not to any 30 year old or just as a member here.

 

[Moemg]

You are doing great just realizing what you need to do . I would also suggest make saving a priority .Think of it as another bill . I found having the saving deducted from my paycheck really helped . I would also look for a cheaper gym . There are tons of $20 a month gyms .

 

[Bestwifeever]

Things I wish someone had told us early in our grownup lives:

Plan for social expenditures and use cash for them so when the cash is gone, so are you; stay far away from impulse spending situations (Target is a major impulse shopping place--don't go there if you cannot leave with only the items you went in to buy, buy them online instead); and learn that having money in the bank or invested is a thing to enjoy too.

 

[joeea]

entertainment spending for may

travel: $400 (road trip, I went through my credit card statement and I think I found most of the charges, so I rounded to this)

target: $105

amazon: $52

paint and sip: $25 (groupon)

concert: $88 (I bought a ticket for my friend, because she had done the same for me last time)

eating out: $182

gym: $79 (do I count this?)

so $852 without gym, $931 with gym.


for june so far...

eating out: $67
target: $22
amazon: $66

so $155, that's it! and really some of the amazon stuff is household stuff.


so...thoughts?

oh I need to add about my debt/savings...

about $19,000 left in school debt
owe about $8,000 on my car, payments are like $370 a month
credit cards have maybe $2,000 on them
no other debts!

savings:
I don't have a 401k yet but I do have almost $5,000 set aside for emergencies

my ex owes me like $1500 but I assume I'm never getting that back

Yikes! If you really want to save, there are some obvious choices here.

Does your employer have a match for your 401k? Even if you decide you'd rather socialize instead of saving anything, you really should take advantage of all company match.

 

[mountainsoft]

this has been a tough year for me...first turning 30, and then ending a LTR this winter.

Happy birthday! And sorry about the relationship, that sucks.

On the up side, you're "only" 30 so you've still got lots of time. I hadn't even thought about retirement when I was 30, so you're already ahead of the game. Start making little changes now, and as you see your savings grow you'll probably find other areas you save save a little more.

I really don't see myself beekeeping or building houses or canoeing or making craft beers...those just aren't my interests. I DO need to hit more free/cheaper concerts though

Try new things, you never know what you might enjoy doing! Go for a hike, watch free movies in the park, do trivia or game nights at the local library, check out books or movies from the library, visit your local farmers market, try your hand at cooking, sewing, or crafts. Gather your friends, buy a day pass, and see where you can explore around town on mass transit.

Of course, you can always find cheaper alternatives for the interests you have now. Like to shop? Try shopping at Goodwill or garage sales. The biggest thing is not to impulse buy and/or buy things you didn't need anyway. Coupons only save money if you were buying that item anyway! Concerts? There are plenty of free concerts at parks, and live music nights at many wineries and restaurants.

entertainment spending for may

I don't know what percentage of your income that is, but most of those expenses are quite reasonable. $400 for travel is great, as long as you're not doing it EVERY month. Same for your Target and Amazon shopping. The concert, eating out, and the gym are probably the more wasteful items, but again it's not a big deal unless you are doing it frequently. Set aside some "fun" money and enjoy 2 or 3 paid concerts a year, then fill in with free entertainment in between.

about $19,000 left in school debt
owe about $8,000 on my car, payments are like $370 a month
credit cards have maybe $2,000 on them

I would scrimp as much as I could to pay off those debts as quickly as possible. You're just throwing money away on interest!

In the future, don't charge anything to your credit card unless you can pay it off in full each month. Buy used cars that you pay cash for instead of financing a new vehicle.

Overall you're looking good for 30 years old. You have more debt than I did at that age, but if you focus on paying them off you can get those out of your life in short time. The money you're paying in interest now can then go to your savings.

You don't have to change your life dramatically, little changes can make a big difference. Do the things you enjoy, but choose your spending wisely.

 

[Amethyst]

It's true; she would see many as worm food. I am minded of what I thought, as a teen in Florida, about the geezers (probably in their 50's, or at most 60's) who entertained themselves by trying to flirt with me. (Gahh, must I be polite to these hideous zombie potato people? ROFL)

Sure you can, but probably not to any 30 year old or just as a member here.

 

[SumDay]

I just have my entertainment spending figured out for now, but I can start looking over everything for may, everything I earned (salary so easy to figure out) and everything I spent. I'm embarrassed to say I have never really done a budget.

but I know I used to spend more money, and I am trying to be better now.

Since you're probably more tech savvy than many of us here, have you tried the YNAB (You Need a Budget) app? I hear great things about it. It may make budgeting a little more fun. And it's apparently pretty precise which can be really illuminating when you see it on your screen. OMG, I spent that much on beer? If you're paying yourself first, and are getting out of debt, you won't need to worry as much about the beer budget.

You're light years ahead of most of your age group. Good on you!

 

[travelbug_ali]

Happy birthday! And sorry about the relationship, that sucks.

it was last fall but thank you!

and yes it sucked for many reasons which I will not go into here, but the financial part has been a big one...

we were living together and splitting rent so now I pay $500 more a month and I can't keep doing that I don't think

the breakup drove me into a few months were I just bought bought bought...I returned a lot of it but still. I have stuff I haven't even worn yet.

and my friends took me out for like 2 months straight (I told you they were ride or dies!) and insisted on paying for most everything but I couldn't keep letting them do that so now I'm paying my way of course