Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-30-2019, 11:58 AM   #21
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
street's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 9,417
Quote:
Originally Posted by SecondCor521 View Post
I personally wouldn't do a trust.

At some point, someone has to make a decision to spend $X on thing Y. With direct giving, it's my kid. With a trust, it's some person who is presumably not my kid.

There is a chance in either case that the person who makes the decision makes a decision I don't (or wouldn't, if I'm dead) agree with. I'd rather that be my kid making that decision than someone else for multiple reasons.

First, I think they know better than anyone whether it's a good idea.

Second, I'll bet on my kids. They're smart, capable, and educated, not to mention good looking. Better looking than any trustee, that's for sure.

Third, if it's a mistake, I want it to be their responsibility so they have a chance to learn.
This is my thoughts and desire also. Very well stated.
street is online now   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

How do you plan to protect your child’s inheritance from a bad marriage?
Old 10-30-2019, 12:23 PM   #22
gone traveling
 
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 249
How do you plan to protect your child’s inheritance from a bad marriage?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SecondCor521 View Post
I personally wouldn't do a trust.

At some point, someone has to make a decision to spend $X on thing Y. With direct giving, it's my kid. With a trust, it's some person who is presumably not my kid.

There is a chance in either case that the person who makes the decision makes a decision I don't (or wouldn't, if I'm dead) agree with. I'd rather that be my kid making that decision than someone else for multiple reasons.

First, I think they know better than anyone whether it's a good idea.

Second, I'll bet on my kids. They're smart, capable, and educated, not to mention good looking. Better looking than any trustee, that's for sure.

Third, if it's a mistake, I want it to be their responsibility so they have a chance to learn.
Your child will definitely learn a lot from someone divorcing them! Haha
nancyfrank232 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2019, 12:56 PM   #23
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
HI Bill's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 2,533
Definitely depends on the state. In CA, if you can show the inheritance value, retaining inherited and pre-marital assets during a divorce is simply a matter of maintaining the records of the initial value. It doesn't seem to matter if the bequest was spent on joint assets (car, etc.), or comingled; it's still considered separate property. If, however, you spent it on vacations, or something you don't still have, then the funds might be lost (?).

For example, my mom had an inheritance. She bought household appliances with part of that bequest. At divorce, my dad had to pay full value for the appliances, or let her keep them.
__________________
Balance in everything.
HI Bill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2019, 01:56 PM   #24
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
SecondCor521's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Boise
Posts: 7,865
Quote:
Originally Posted by nancyfrank232 View Post
Your child will definitely learn a lot from someone divorcing them! Haha
I think they learned a lot from their mother divorcing me.
__________________
"At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough, and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may in fact be the first steps of a journey." Violet Baudelaire.
SecondCor521 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2019, 02:23 PM   #25
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 5,858
Here is what my grandfather's brother did when his daughter married and he did not think it would last. He had a chat with his lawyer. He had a very successful business. Hard working, very canny Scotsman. His daughter's fiance was in med school.

-he bought a house for them to live in. The title was in his name, not his daughter's or her husband's, or joint.
-he put his son in law on the payroll, intentionally NO income went his daughter
-he provided them with a company automobile. Nothing in either of their names.

Less than two years after med school the marriage was over. SIL kept no assets, no alimony from his wife. NADA.

Not good, but it could have been much worse had he not been on the ball and sought some legal advice.
brett is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2019, 02:47 PM   #26
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: St. Charles
Posts: 3,903
Our DS is almost 38, and just proposed to his GF of several years. First marriage for both. She is a few years younger. Wedding is expected a year from now. We are 64, retired, with a significant nest egg.

In our case, no plans to control from the grave. He will inherit it all when we pass. How he deals with it is up to him. The only possible change to this would be, if they have kids, we might set up something for them, to at least take care of college. Could be 529's, or could just be a bequest in the will.

FWIW, we adore our future DIL, and have spent time with her folks and sister (and BF), as well. No one knows what the future holds. I prefer to keep a positive out look.
__________________
If your not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.
Never slow down, never grow old!
CardsFan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2019, 02:53 PM   #27
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Sunset's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spending the Kids Inheritance and living in Chicago
Posts: 17,008
Quote:
Originally Posted by SecondCor521 View Post
In my state (and possibly others), inherited assets, as long as they are not commingled, are considered separate property and not subject to a divorce proceeding.

....
This is common in many places, but of course one should check, and tell the inheriting kid as they probably don't know.

I'm not worried about it, not going to try to control stuff when I'm dead, as I can't control it now
__________________
Fortune favors the prepared mind. ... Louis Pasteur
Sunset is offline   Reply With Quote
How do you plan to protect your child’s inheritance from a bad marriage?
Old 10-30-2019, 03:05 PM   #28
gone traveling
 
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 249
How do you plan to protect your child’s inheritance from a bad marriage?

Quote:
Originally Posted by brett View Post
Here is what my grandfather's brother did when his daughter married and he did not think it would last. He had a chat with his lawyer. He had a very successful business. Hard working, very canny Scotsman. His daughter's fiance was in med school.

-he bought a house for them to live in. The title was in his name, not his daughter's or her husband's, or joint.
-he put his son in law on the payroll, intentionally NO income went his daughter
-he provided them with a company automobile. Nothing in either of their names.

Less than two years after med school the marriage was over. SIL kept no assets, no alimony from his wife. NADA.

Not good, but it could have been much worse had he not been on the ball and sought some legal advice.
+ 1

Smart man
Why did he put SIL on payroll?
If positive outlooks worked we wouldn’t have Wills, Pre-nups or Trusts
nancyfrank232 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2019, 03:29 PM   #29
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Senator's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Williston, FL
Posts: 3,925
A prenup would be best. Or just don't get married. Marriage is an obsolete concept anyway and the lifetime cost is astronomical.

Independent people don't fall for the trick.
__________________
FIRE no later than 7/5/2016 at 56 (done), securing '16 401K match (done), getting '15 401K match (done), LTI Bonus (done), Perf bonus (done), maxing out 401K (done), picking up 1,000 hours to get another year of pension (done), July 1st benefits (vacation day, healthcare) (done), July 4th holiday. 0 days left. (done) OFFICIALLY RETIRED 7/5/2016!!
Senator is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2019, 03:47 PM   #30
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
candrew's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Cholula
Posts: 1,595
Quote:
Originally Posted by Senator View Post
Or just don't get married. Marriage is an obsolete concept anyway and the lifetime cost is astronomical.

Independent people don't fall for the trick.
That's an interesting opinion though a 2018 CDC National Health statistical report seems to disagree.

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr111.pdf

From the report:

47.9% of cohabiting women had household incomes less than 150% of the federal poverty line, compared to 25.6% of married women

36.1% of cohabiting men had incomes less than 150% of the federal poverty line, compared to 21.2% of married men

25.2% of cohabiting women had incomes over 300% of the federal poverty line, compared to 48.1% of marrieds

32.4% of cohabiting men had incomes over 300% of the federal poverty line, compared to 52.4% of marrieds

This is one of the more striking examples of the fact that a lot of cohabiting women and men tend to be poor compared to married women and men. The data on education follows in similar fashion. Married people had the most education followed by those who were not married or cohabiting, with cohabiting people reporting lower levels of education than the other two groups:

25.3% of cohabiting women had a bachelor’s degree, compared to 43% of married women

16.2% of cohabiting men had a bachelor’s degree, compared to 36.5% of married men
__________________
“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.” – Jack Handey
candrew is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2019, 03:47 PM   #31
Moderator Emeritus
Bestwifeever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,773
So much to think about if we want to worry:

A. One of the parents will pass away before the other, more than likely--are the assets protected from a second marriage should that happen? DH will inherit my estate; perhaps he will remarry, rewrite his will to make her the beneficiary, who may then outlive him and then leave everything to her family, shutting out our own kids.

B. Sadly, an adult child may pass away before the parents. Is the parents' will written to have the grandchildren inherit their parent (the deceased adult child) share, or would it go to the surviving spouse of the deceased adult child? The surviving spouse of the deceased adult child is likely to remarry and may have more children. Now what?

We have TODs and beneficiaries and a simple will, half to each child or their surviving children. They're on their own to protect themselves.
__________________
“Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?” J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
Bestwifeever is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2019, 03:55 PM   #32
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Senator's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Williston, FL
Posts: 3,925
Quote:
Originally Posted by candrew View Post
That's an interesting opinion though a 2018 CDC National Health statistical report seems to disagree.

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr111.pdf

From the report:

47.9% of cohabiting women had household incomes less than 150% of the federal poverty line, compared to 25.6% of married women

36.1% of cohabiting men had incomes less than 150% of the federal poverty line, compared to 21.2% of married men

25.2% of cohabiting women had incomes over 300% of the federal poverty line, compared to 48.1% of marrieds

32.4% of cohabiting men had incomes over 300% of the federal poverty line, compared to 52.4% of marrieds

This is one of the more striking examples of the fact that a lot of cohabiting women and men tend to be poor compared to married women and men. The data on education follows in similar fashion. Married people had the most education followed by those who were not married or cohabiting, with cohabiting people reporting lower levels of education than the other two groups:

25.3% of cohabiting women had a bachelor’s degree, compared to 43% of married women

16.2% of cohabiting men had a bachelor’s degree, compared to 36.5% of married men

The moral of that data is this.

Once the financial benefit of a divorce is eliminated, marriage is no longer necessary.
Senator is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2019, 03:56 PM   #33
Administrator
MichaelB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 40,583
Quote:
Originally Posted by Senator View Post
The moral of that data is this.

Once the financial benefit of a divorce is eliminated, marriage is no longer necessary.
You’ve made your point, so why don’t you give it a rest.
MichaelB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2019, 03:58 PM   #34
Administrator
Gumby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 22,971
Quote:
Originally Posted by candrew View Post
That's an interesting opinion though a 2018 CDC National Health statistical report seems to disagree.

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr111.pdf

From the report:

47.9% of cohabiting women had household incomes less than 150% of the federal poverty line, compared to 25.6% of married women

36.1% of cohabiting men had incomes less than 150% of the federal poverty line, compared to 21.2% of married men

25.2% of cohabiting women had incomes over 300% of the federal poverty line, compared to 48.1% of marrieds

32.4% of cohabiting men had incomes over 300% of the federal poverty line, compared to 52.4% of marrieds

This is one of the more striking examples of the fact that a lot of cohabiting women and men tend to be poor compared to married women and men. The data on education follows in similar fashion. Married people had the most education followed by those who were not married or cohabiting, with cohabiting people reporting lower levels of education than the other two groups:

25.3% of cohabiting women had a bachelor’s degree, compared to 43% of married women

16.2% of cohabiting men had a bachelor’s degree, compared to 36.5% of married men
Interesting data. I wonder which way the causation flows, if it does at all. Does poverty and lower education level lead to less marriage or does marriage lead to higher income and higher educational achievement? Or is it just simple correlation without any causation?
__________________
Living an analog life in the Digital Age.
Gumby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2019, 04:04 PM   #35
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
OldShooter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: City
Posts: 10,332
Quote:
Originally Posted by candrew View Post
... This is one of the more striking examples of the fact that a lot of cohabiting women and men tend to be poor compared to married women and men. ...
Well ... actually the data says nothing of the sort. It says they tend to be low income, from which one might as logically conclude that they are young. The discrepancy in college degrees might be due to the fact that they are often still in school.

I have no idea what the right answer is and not much interested anyway, but I do get annoyed once in a while by sloppy science.
OldShooter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2019, 05:35 PM   #36
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,172
a reply from the other end (receiving)...........when my parents passed away and the kids were inheriting, it was a pleasant surprise to find out that the giving was not to the kids but to the kids and their spouses jointly......... as if to say that the spouses had been fully accepted into the family.

Time will tell if we're made of the same stuff............
kaneohe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2019, 06:21 PM   #37
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
athena53's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 7,323
I'm not concerned about DS and DDIL. They're very religious and their marriage vows included, "I will never divorce you". More importantly, 5 years and 3 kids later, they seem on solid footing and they're a good team. They're both LBYM types and if they did divorce, I'd want DS to take good care of them all since DDIL is a SAHM.

I do have a revocable trust but it's mostly because neither of them is avidly interested in managing money and my brother the CPA (who will be a co-Trustee) is. I also want to protect against a couple of unlikely but scary events: DS predeceases DDIL and she remarries, and DS and DDIL both predecease me and their friends named in their will take care of the kids. In both cases I want someone from my family watching the money.
athena53 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2019, 06:50 PM   #38
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Senator's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Williston, FL
Posts: 3,925
Avoiding co-mingling of inheritance funds goes a long ways towards keeping the liquid assets in the hands of the one that receives them. Keep them separate, forever.

Keep the inheritance funds in a separate account, with only one signature able to access them. In your will, only list the person you want to receive them. List the other as $1 to acknowledge that you didn't want them to get anything.

If you go (die) before your spouse, and they have kids outside your marriage, you may very well lose out on any passing on wealth to your blood relatives. A co-signer or beneficiary overrides a will. A primary residence will very likely go to the spouse, as most couples list the title that way.

Despite all the assurances of a marriage staying together, statistics say many won't last forever. The over 50 age group is very vulnerable.
__________________
FIRE no later than 7/5/2016 at 56 (done), securing '16 401K match (done), getting '15 401K match (done), LTI Bonus (done), Perf bonus (done), maxing out 401K (done), picking up 1,000 hours to get another year of pension (done), July 1st benefits (vacation day, healthcare) (done), July 4th holiday. 0 days left. (done) OFFICIALLY RETIRED 7/5/2016!!
Senator is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2019, 07:34 PM   #39
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
jollystomper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 6,129
You could just not leave them an inheritance. Then you will have nothing to worry about from your grave.
__________________
FIREd date: June 26, 2018 - "This Happy Feeling, Going Round and Round!" (GQ)
jollystomper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2019, 08:09 PM   #40
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 930
I don't have kids, so right now my inheritance goes to two siblings. But as my niece and nephew get older, they'll get named as a beneficiary for some part of it. At that point, I'll make sure they know the impact of keeping an inheritance separate, but I also expect they might use some of the funds for commingled assets such as a house and I'm fine with that. Right now, both of them are in serious relationships with people that I really like. Both of the significant others have worked very hard to put themselves through school and are sensible with their money. They're also very kind to our family. I don't have any great concerns about protecting any money from them. If my relatives were involved with people I thought were less responsible, I might feel differently.
Katiek is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Child Proof latches to protect grand children Chuckanut Other topics 8 05-03-2015 08:21 PM
Best way to protect your money godoftrading FIRE and Money 17 06-08-2008 09:02 PM
Protect your Nestegg with a 'Retirement Collar' intercst FIRE and Money 8 08-21-2005 10:19 PM

» Quick Links

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:20 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.